and Page 1032 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Iroquois Nationals' Long Nightmare Is Almost Over
The fourth-seeded Iroquois Nationals were supposed to play host-country England today at the lacrosse world championships. Instead they're taking tourist photos in Times Square and loitering outside JFK. What went wrong for the guys whose ancestors invented our most cherished sport?...
Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...
Good News, Everybody: No Bastard Child For Landon Donovan
Either there never was one, or he had it "taken care of." But most likely it's been shipped to a secret underground facility along with Cristiano Ronaldo's American son to prepare for 2030. [E! Online]...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....
Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Jordan Vandenberg, North Carolina State
From a reader: This was written by a basketball student in my freshman business class at North Carolina State University. The assignment was to write about two events that we were required to attend to meet a global learning requirement....
World's Largest-Breasted Woman's Breasts Trying To Kill Her
After more than 30 surgeries, Texan Sheyla Hershey's M-cup bosom finally had enough. Her latest procedure gave her a staph infection, and doctors have removed her implants to try and save her life. Godspeed, Sheyla.[MyFoxHouston]...
LeBron Watch, Day 55: Dan Gilbert's Top Secret Second Letter To Cleveland
The Cavs owner has already racked up a $100,000 penalty for ripping LeBron James, and now, in the wake of Zydrunas Ilgauskas's departure for Miami, he appears to be gunning for a second fine. Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio, Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight, and res...
Pablo Sandoval, Noted Fatass, To Speak To Children About Heart Health
Thanks, PR person from the American Heart Association, for letting us know about the 250-plus lb. Sandoval telling children how to eat right and keep their hearts healthy. What, was George Steinbrenner not available?...
Jenn Brown Is Ready For Her Close-Up While Spraying A Garden Hose
Jenn Brown's quest to become America's Next Top Sideline Princess kicks-off with this Esquire q/a: ESQ: Your colleague Erin Andrews is going to appear as a host on GameDay this fall. Do you see her career path as one to aspire to?...
Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...
George Steinbrenner Is Dead At 80
Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died after suffering a massive heart attack. He was 80. Quoth commenter Eddie Murray Sparkles: "Jesus is getting a haircut as we speak."...
Andy Richter Keeps An Eye On Jennie Finch's Backstop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Erin Andrews: Sideline Princess, TV Dancing Star, Stalking Victim, Wishes To Be Taken More Seriously
So she officially signed back on to the WWL to have her role expanded on College Gameday. She's also going to be spun-off to Good Morning America to do some non-sports features to prove she can be gravely serious....
Spaniard Gets Punched In The Face By Someone Other Than A Dutch Midfielder
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Biggest Winner In Today's World Cup
Congratulations to Dutch adult-film star Bobbi Eden who can now remove her name from the Jaw Transplant List. Ms. Eden noted on Twitter on July 6 that she "will give a BJ to all my followers" should Holland win the World Cup. At the time, there were less than 5,000 followers. Today, there were 112,...
They've Got High Apple Pie In The Sky Hopes!
Oh, the simple pleasures of a two-and-a-half-sport town. The LeBron shrine is not even entirely ash yet, and this nugget emerges from the Cleveland Browns public-relations machine:...
World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Spain
After 63 matches, we have made it to the final. It figures that Wesley Sneijder and David Villa—two of the breakout stars of the tournament—would settle things....
World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Germany
The battle for bronze is here. Can Uruguay salvage a modicum of dignity for South America—and alternately taunt Brazil and Argentina—or will Ze Germans prove too, too hot to handle? Stay in the know and comment along....
Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....