and Page 1033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don’t Expect A Glut Of Goals In The World Cup Final
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Cleveland Paper Calls Out King Without A Ring
The Plain Dealer gets the last word on LeBron's reign in Cleveland. This will come back to haunt them in photoshop form if he wins rings with the Heat. Meanwhile, here's a great roundup of various front pages this morning. [Charles Apple]...

Great Moments In Comic Sans History
In light of Dan Gilbert's laudable, laughable open letter to LeBron James, we proudly present an alternate history, in which Comic Sans is the font of choice (complete with needless scare quotes)....

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

Art Modell Hated Worse In Cleveland Than LeBron, Says Art Modell
Modell thinks those pansies will get over LeBron, unlike those still bitching and moaning about the original Browns. "I wish the team that gets him well. And as long as I do well, I'm fine." [News-Herald]...

Cavs Owner Channels Crazy Person: "Some People Think They Should Go To Heaven But NOT Have To Die To Get There"
Owner Dan Gilbert has written an open letter to Cavs fans in the sort of prose you normally find wrapped around a brick. Note the font: The guy makes Comic Sans seem sinister....

Cleveland Fans React With Usual Grace And Tact
The message boards at CavFanatic, the largest Cavaliers fansite, are currently an apocalyptic wasteland, where not even hope will sprout through the salted earth. Here are some of the best comments, helpfully sorted into three categories:...

Brazilian Goalie Linked With Alleged Murder, Sneijder’s Staying Put
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

LeBron Watch, Day 49: The Day We All Became Witnesses
At 9 p.m., the long-running soap opera over LeBron James's free agency will end, cementing the fact that the King's ego — not the things he does on the court — has become his defining characteristic....

Unfortunately Named Sprinter Defeats Amusingly Named Sprinter
Walter Dix beat out Tyson Gay in the 200m at this weekend's Prefontaine Classic, leading Reuters to produce lots of muffled laughter with this headline. [Reuters]...

The Porn Star Behind The "BJs For Holland" Twitter Campaign Revealed
One of the perks of this job is random late-night emails from adult actresses. Vicky Vette dropped us a line to clarify a few things about the industry ladies offering their unique services to thousands of people if Holland wins it all....

World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Netherlands
Semifinal No. 1 is here. Can Uruguay continue its historic run, or will the Dutch squadron fancy-footwork its way into the championship game? Try to stay cool and comment below....

Brandon Marshall Won't Take Your Guff, Small Child
This is how the Dolphins' WR reacted to a 5-year-old telling him to "get out of my face." Give it three months and that'll be Chad Henne dangling. [Orlando Sentinel, via Second-String Fullback]...

Uhhh...Go Netherlands?
Never mind running through the streets naked. Adult actress Bobbi Eden promises, um, "BJs" for all her Twitter followers if the Oranje win the World Cup. [Twitter]...

In The 209, They Make Commemorative T-Shirts!
Yes, the A's are selling "Get Off My Mound" t-shirts. They were a big hit in the visiting locker room last night among the Yankees, but Dallas Braden his own self isn't too pleased....

Bob Probert, Dead At 45
Probert, NHL enforcer extraordinaire, was pronounced dead after collapsing on a boat near his hometown of Windsor, Ontario. Tie Domi and Stu Grimson sleep a little sounder tonight....

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And Vomit
We deputized AnimalNY's Bucky Turco to document the goings-on in Coney Island yesterday. This is what he came back with. ("Sorry, just woke up," he writes.)...

Kobayashi In Court Today To Answer For Hot Dog Disruption
Takeru Kobayashi, upset over a non-compete clause in his contract, started all kinds of trouble in Coney Island yesterday. He's facing charges of obstruction, resisting arrest, trespassing and disorderly conduct. If this is a stunt, the DA's not in on it. [AP]...

Here's Video Of Kobayashi Getting Arrested At The Coney Island Hot-Dog-Eating Contest
Takeru Kobayashi didn't compete in today's Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, but he showed up at Coney Island anyway and got himself arrested. We were there and got some video....

Deadspin Classic: Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships
Three years ago, the former proprietor hereabouts immersed himself in the world of moist sausage and watched as a proud America reclaimed what is rightfully hers: the world championship for cramming hot dogs in one's distended mouth....