and Page 1040 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ozzie Guillen Has No Sympathy For Clevelanders
Guillen was nice enough to autograph a ball for an Indians fan before last night's game. He also put a personalized message on there. (Other side, just as knife-twisting, after the jump.)...

Tampa Bawww: Scribes Cry Foul Over Northeast Super Bowl
As soon as Roger Goodell announced that the 2014 Super Bowl would be played at the new Meadowlands Stadium, our nation's finest sportswriters hit the panic button. But lets bring them in from the cold with a little, you know, logic....

Erin Andrews Shows Off Her Dancing Wounds
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

The New Tim Lincecum Cartoon Will Give You A Contact High
Another day, another baffling sports figure TV show appearance. Today we have the inaugural episode of Timmy & Bus, a cartoon that is for children in the way that all unicorn-vehicular-manslaughter cartoons are for children. [Tauntr]...

Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....

Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...

LeBron Watch, Day 5: Conspiracy! LeBron James Wants John Calipari To Be His Next Coach
Mike Brown is gone. So, what does LeBron James really want in his heart-of-hearts, that unknowable place the media have never seen? It couldn't be John Calipari, could it?...

"First Question: Where Are Your Pants?"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...

Boston Radio Hosts Hang Up On Delonte-Banged-LeBron's Mom Rumor Monger
Although TerezOwens is gaining some national attention from his "Exclusive" LeBron scoop, 98.5 The Sports Hub's Toucher and Rich refuse to waste their time letting Terez stand by his Nigerian Prince sources. The last two minutes are highly amusing. [98.5SportsHubviaSRI]...

White Chocolate Would Really Prefer You Not Violate His Private Space, Mr. Reporter
The frustration of the Magic's poor showing thus far in the conference finals has reached its boiling point. Watch as Jason Williams swears a blue steak at a reporter, and Matt Barnes cannot help but laugh. H/T Jovan....

LeBron Watch, Day 4: Did LeBron James Get His Head Coach Fired?
Maybe not directly, but by refusing to take Mike Brown seriously, laughing at him after tough losses, and quitting on him in Games 5 & 6 against the Celtics ... close enough....

Venus Williams's Muscular Buttocks Make Another Appearance
We've spent a lot of bandwidth discussing whether Venus Williams wears underwear or not. Her French Open outfit yesterday did little to settle the matter. [NYDN]...

Jose Lima, Dead At 37
Breaking news says Jose Lima died this morning of a heart attack at his home in Los Angeles. Since his last MLB season in 2006, he had made stops in Korea, Long Beach and Edmonton.[ESPN Deportes]...

Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...

LeBron Watch, Day 2: No, Seriously, Mo Williams Runs A Pit Bull Business
A comment in Friday's LeBron Watch about Mo Williams sparks conversation on the Internets, serving as a reminder that every joke's got a bit of truth to it....

Finally, A Lady Urinal: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

LeBron Watch, Day 1: The Secret Reason LeBron James Might Stay Put In Cleveland
In the first installment of his occasional LeBron Watch, Esquire's Scott Raab, a native Clevelander, reveals the secret link between LeBron's mom and his free agency — and it doesn't involve Delonte West....

Wedded Wrestler Of The Week: "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Macho Man, whose first wife was Miss Elizabeth, has at last made an honest woman of his longtime girlfriend, Lynn. Snap into a second marriage! [The Sun]...

Doping Allegations Send Lance Armstrong('s Bike) Into Tailspin
Lance Armstrong says he has "nothing to hide" and that Floyd Landis' doping accusations are "sad." Then he promptly crashed his bike during the Tour of California. Coincidence? (Yeah, probably. It happens all the time.) [ESPN/Yahoo; Photo: AP]...