"First Question: Where Are Your Pants?"

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

* There's a reason post-game interviews are usually conducted from the neck up. [LiveJournal]

* Orlando delays the inevitable by somehow managing to not choke away Game 4 against the Celtics. And somewhere a travel agent gets his wings. [USA Today]

* Out West, Steve Nash apparently broke his nose at the end of Game 3, but re-set it himself and will be back on the floor tonight. How much uglification can one face take? [ Arizona Republic]

* After seven years in the NFL, Andre Johnson decides he better hire an agent. Also, maybe someone should close that barn door now that the horses are gone. [AP]

* The Kansas City Chiefs provided surprisingly few new details about Dwayne Bowe's "skank importation" story. You'd think they would want the public to have all the facts, right? [ESPN]

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Good morning. I won't say which commenter this is directed to, but I was there and I saw what you did. I still can't believe you ate that whole thing.