and Page 1116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

An Indian Offensive 'SPLOSION!
The Cavs victory wasn't the only thing Mistake by the Lakers celebrated yesterday while eagerly awaiting their next 23-cent pizza day. Grady Sizemore homered twice and drove in five runs to propel the Tribe to a 12-0 throttling of the Blue Jays. It's enough to get Indians fans off their ice cream he...

Somewhere, A Haitian Boy Is Hatless
Here's a photo from a reader who found this rare, 19-0* New England Patriots Super Bowl hat at a 99-cent store in Brooklyn....

Tom Brady Has A Wonder Woman Fetish
So Tom Brady wants his girlfriend to dress up as Wonder Woman? Who doesn't? Just be thankful he didn't say Aqua Boy. According to a gossip column in the Boston Globe, Gisele Bundchen revealed that Brady has a bit of a Wonder Woman fixation. Translation: If someone is thinking of making a Wonder Woma...

Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...

All Hail Derek Jeter's Golden Baby Arm
It is times like these where Yankee-haters even must bow down to the catnip that is Derek Jeter's machismo. Maxim's Hot 100 list contains six women who've been romantically linked to the Yankee shortstop....

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when y...

Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the ...

Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...

NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game....

Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....

Hawks Exit Stage Left
The Atlanta Hawks gave their fans plenty to cheer about with three home wins against the Celtics, but they were finally finished off this afternoon. Boston continued their home dominance with 99-65 curb-stomping, although it could have been much worse. The win sends them into the second round again...

Leeeeet's Get Ready to Spar!
Oscar de la Hoya and Steve Forbes are set to face off at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California, for some reason that nobody can quite explain. I'm not about to turn down a chance to see one of the sport's greatest competitors fight a weak opponent, but in a year that's been packed with incred...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

Footballers and the Porn Stars Who Love Them
Earlier in the week Chelsea celebrated their Champion's League semi-final triumph (don't tell Jose) over Liverpool with a field trip to popular London night spot. Needless to say, their presence did not go unnoticed by fellow club enthusiasts....

Free Darko On Detroit-Orlando
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever
One wouldn't think that this would be classified as "news," necessarily, but we still find it noteworthy, and kind of sad: Julio Franco has officially announced his retirement....

Cubs Preparing For When Ryne Sandberg Becomes Their Manager
When the day finally comes that Lou Piniella explodes like Port Chicago — oh, and he will — who will step in for the Cubs? How about Ryne Sandberg? The Hall of Famer, now manager of the Class A Peoria Chiefs, will try out the manager's chair when he returns to Wrigley Field on July 29; his team taki...

Notches On Roger Clemens' Bedpost Keep Surfacing
If we're to believe the New York Daily News sources (which are to be believed most of the time — unless you're a Sean Avery fan), one of the other women who may or may not have had the Rocket inside them is John Daly's ex-wife, Paulette....

Cliff Notes: Indians Say There's No Place Like Home
Cliff Lee and Progressive Field were both winners on Wednesday; although after the game one went out and celebrated, and the other spent the night covered with a tarp. Cleveland's stadium took the top spot in the Sports Illustrated fan survey for best Major League ballpark, and inspired by his home...

Please Do Not Mock Jim Leyland's Beekeeper Hat
The year is 1986. Out of Africa wins the Academy Award for best picture; the Space Shuttle Challenger disintegrates soon after launch over the coast of central Florida; and the Pittsburgh Pirates are wearing very tall hats. I came upon this glorious snapshot in time courtesy of The Ugly Baseball Car...