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Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...

Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...

Meet The Brand New Face Of English Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Swim, You Brave, Magnificent Bastards! Swim!
OK, I can hear you complaining already. But the fact remains that I have lived most of my adult life by one simple rule: Anytime a game fish reenacts a scene from one of my favorite movies, it gets its own post. The movie is Shawshank Redemption, and this is one of those times....

Greatest 'NBA Closer' In The History Of Western Civilization!
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— Shut it down, little man. Shut it DOWN! What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This guy is a disgrace to the game of basketball a...

In Praise Of Dwight Howard
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals....

That's A Lot Of Points, Folks
Well, the Sunday NFL spreads are out, and ... Oh My Lord. If you thought that there would be no way you'd touch the Jets-Patriots game, can Las Vegas tempt you with 24 1/2 points? And some freshly-baked lemon squares? That's right oddsmakers; Mangenius vs. Belicheat now features the largest point sp...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Nicholson attempts to sell out the Staples Center all by himself ... • NFL: New Orleans at Atlanta. On the same day that Michael Vick is sentenced? Irony, thy name is WWL. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Buffalo. They're the Bruins, because just try to walk around in Boston without being bo...

Want A Playoff? Banish The Rose Bowl
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

The Upcoming Vivisection Of Mike And Mike, Truly
On January 11, 2008, you're likely to still be recovering from Dennis Kucinich's stunning wins in Iowa and New Hampshire on his way to become the 44th President of the United States. So there's not much better way to clear your cluttered mind than to attend the Mike and Mike Celebrity Roast....

Patriots-Ravens Blogdome
What they're saying in the untrained Internet business about the Patriots' 27-24 win over the Ravens on Monday ......

Warriors Vs. Road Warriors
The NBA Closer is now written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....

The Best MNF Game In Many A Moon
If you weren't able to stay up and make the whole "Monday Night Football" game last night, we're sorry for you: That was as terrific an NFL game we've seen all season. You can tell from the comments on our late-night post: As Larry King might say, "if that game didn't excite you, check your pulse, b...

The Patriots Might Just Be Toying With Us Now
A while back, we said that this whole "call a timeout right before a big play" business would end when someone called a timeout that nullified a great, game-winning play by his own team. That's exactly what happened tonight, thanks to an overeager timeout from Baltimore defensive coordinator Rex Ry...

Another Night That The Patriots Run The NFL
Sometimes it seems like the only major drama left in the NFL swirls around Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. We're almost as fascinated with the Dolphins' losing streak as we are with the Patriots' winning one, but tonight, "Monday Night Football" will reap the national benefits....

Uncovering The 19th Century Version Of 'You Dead, Dawg'
Well, this just makes me miss Deadwood all the more: It seems that raunchy language was such a problem in professional baseball in the late 1800s, that the league actually handed out a document telling players to knock it off. It lists several examples of banned expressions, which are absolutely fil...

Yeah, Yeah, We Get It: You Hate The BCS
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Ashley Young Wants You To Know His Body As Well As He Does
You see, now, this is what American sports desperately needs more of: Athletic superstars who masturbate on their Web cams. And you thought Curt Schilling's blog had poor spelling!...

Winslow Soldiers A Catch, But You Didn't See It, And It Didn't Happen
Tiny tidbits and info smidgens from Week 13 of the NFL ......