and Page 1146 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed after finally getting permission to skate the half pipe ... • MLB: Is this the beginning of the end for Roger Clemens? Orioles 4, Yankees 0. • Tennis: Roddick beats the unprounceable Danai Udomchoke to advance at Wimbledon. • Soccer: Mexico snaps back with full and luxurious 2-0 win ...

Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....

It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...

About Those My Wish Segments ...
As you've surely noticed, "SportsCenter" is running its yearly "My Wish" campaign with the "Make-A-Wish foundation" all this week. We covered our thoughts on this little segment last year, when we said, "First off, it should be obvious that we have no problem with sick and/or needy children getting ...

Stuart Scott Is The Broadcasting Equivalent Of Hudson Hawk
As Awful Announcing reported yesterday, tonight, ESPN will bring you a Very Special "SportsCenter" featuring Bruce Willis, Live Free Or Die Hard and all kinds of WACKY HIJINKS....

WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!
On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup....

Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....

If Nenad Krstic Wasn't Such A Sex Object, This Wouldn't Be Happening
The man just puts people in the mood for porno. And soon, Nets fans won't have to go far to satisfy their jones....

Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, NFL Europa Football. World Bowl XV. 2:00, ESPN2. LPGA Golf. Wegmen's LPGA, Third Round. 2:00, NBC. Track and Field. AT&T U.S. Outdoor Championships. 3:00, ESPNU. High School Football. Belle Glades Central (Fla.) vs. Byrnes (S.C.) 3:00, NBC. World Series of Golf. 3:00, CBS. PGA Golf. Travelers ...

Enjoy The Comedic Stylings Of Lenny DiNardo
Tonight, the summer of Pants Parties continues: We'll be hitting ole Shea Stadium for the A's-Mets showdown. DiNardo! Glavine! Eight dollar beers! Welcome to New York....

Humanity Prepares For The Terrible Reign Of Mr. And Mrs. Bubbles
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Uh Oh, Canada Is Pissed
If you're like us, Thursday was Soccer Day at your house, as you refused to budge from in front of your TV while the U.S.-Canada match raged on. Also, you would only pass the dip with your feet. OK, we didn't watch a minute of it. But from what we understand, Canada thought it had the tying goal in ...

Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated....

A Q&A With Sen. Chris Dodd
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch now that you have a little freakin' peace and quiet ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Peter "Zucchini Bread" Manfredo Jr. vs. David "Mary Poppins" Banks, at Ledyard, Conn. [ESPN2] • College baseball: World Series, at Omaha, Oregon State vs. UC Irvine. When the Beavers meet the 'Eaters...

Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....

Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...

The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....

Ryan Leaf About To Be Immortalized On Digital Film
Six months ago, Football Outsiders told the tale of "Leaf: An Almost True Story," a mock-documentary about Ryan Leaf. Apparently, the movie has progressed a bit since then: It looks like it's going to be "released" in October....