and Page 1162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Playoffs Pants Party: Twins Vs. A's
The first playoff game — we'll be live-blogging all day games this week, by the way — begins in less than 24 hours, and if you actually live in the Bay Area, your team's first playoff game is starting at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. Which seems odd....

Grimsley Fingers Clemens, Pettite, Tejada
And not in a good way. The Los Angeles Times is reporting that Clemens, his good pal Andy Pettitte, and Miguel Tejada were among those accused of using performance-enhancers in the Jason Grimsley affidavit. Brian Roberts and Jay Gibbons, too. So much for Clemens getting through his career without ev...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Cleveland Cavaliers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we begin with the Central Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at [email protected]....

You Can Lean On Him
So yesterday, it came out that San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested by the DEA for shipping codeine-based cough syrup to Texas. The substance, which mixed with "either soft drinks or drugs" (two entities we wouldn't imagine to be so easily interchangable), creates something called "l...

Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....

"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...

The Closer: Champagne For Everyone!
Notes from a day in baseball: • 1. That Cinches It. If we're building a team in the majors, we're bringing in Eric Chavez, and damn the statistics. The oft-injured third baseman has this champagne celebration thing dow; he's made the playoffs five times in his eight years in the majors. The lates...

You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....

Madden Curse Soon To Attack Rest Of Humanity
You know, all told, Ray Lewis never actually suffered from the Madden Curse: People always forget nothing happened to him that year....

Over There, Belichick Should Break Up LOTS Of Marriages
If you're a Patriots fan who just hasn't had every opportunity and vessel through which to express your undying devotion, worry not: You can now wear Tom Brady's jersey in Chinese....

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Portland Trail Blazers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner (no, not that corner; that's curling). We don't know about you, but we've barely had time to miss Ron Artest and Mark Cuban before they're back again. And that's a good thing. So let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team, ...

Zach Randolph Has Miserable Sex Shows
So if you're not up on all the details of the Zach Randolph sexual assault case, The Oregonian has the brutal details of the case (in PDF form) — for which Randolph will not be charged; prosecutors said they couldn't find enough evidence that the sex wasn't consensual — and it's anything but pleas...

He Actually Will Wear A Leather Helmet
Need to be reminded of just how old you really are? Old Falcons kicker Morten Andersen, considered one of the best kickers of all time, last made a Pro Bowl in 1996. The guy was an All-American kicker for Michigan State in 1981....

This, This Is Why We Lose
So USA soccer "superstar" Landon Donovan was asked whether or not he thought he would be a better player if he was in Europe rather than the MLS. His response was curious....

That's Never Been MY Experience
Do me a favor. Click this link, check out the headline, then come back. I'll wait....

Imagine What They'll Call It When They Actually Use It
Far be it from us to pretend to be experts in branding, but this new marketing gimmick for the Cleveland Browns, obviously a "riff" (and "riff" is being generous) on the Steelers' Terrible Towel, is actually called The Dirty Brown Towel....

Return To Irreverence!
We knew the Oakland Raiders were going to be a source of consistent amusement throughout this season, through ineptitude, disorganization or simple befuddlement, but we didn't quite expect it to happen so soon....

How In The World Do They Make A Movie Of "Moneyball?"
In what seemed more inevitable two years ago than it necessarily does now, screenwriters are hard at work on making a movie out of Moneyball. While some of the main characters — Jeremy Brown, Scott Hatteberg, Chad Bradford — have faded in time, there's still that plumb role of Billy Beane to account...

Everybody Needs Some Tailgating Backup
We know those who use wheelchairs are capable of doing just about anything that those who can stand and walk can do; we suspect some of you are doing that very thing right now. Unless you're trying to get to the upper deck of RFK Stadium, nothing should stand in your way as a sports fan....

Now That's A Serious Looking Contract
We don't mean to imply that there's a possibly new New York Islanders general manager Garth Snow — shown here on a "scouting trip" — might not necessarily be ready for life in a board room, considering just last year he was the team's backup goalie....