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Astros Fire Brandon Taubman, Now Need To Fire Whoever Smeared Stephanie Apstein [Update]
The Houston Astros have fired assistant GM Brandon Taubman for conduct that “does not reflect the values” of the organization, according to a team statement released on Thursday. ...

Yu Darvish Waited Over A Year To Get Justin Verlander Back For A Joke
While chasing down a slow grounder in Game 2 of the World Series, Astros pitcher Justin Verlander fell on his butt as he threw the ball off his shin. Nobody was hurt; it was just a nice blooper....

Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....

Nikola Jokic Lulled Hassan Whiteside To Sleep
New Blazers addition Hassan Whiteside was very, very excited to see Nikola Jokic in early foul trouble on Tuesday night. After racking up three fouls in four minutes of play, the Nuggets big man hibernated for the rest of the first half. He then returned in the second half to cook the opposition. D...

I Have Watched This 46 Times And I Can't Tell If It Was A Save Or A Goal
Wednesday’s game between the Cup-hopeful Lightning and the somehow-not-dead-yet Penguins came down to the final seconds, twice. Victor Hedman scored on a power-play slapper with 56.4 seconds left to give Tampa the lead, and then, with, oh, just about 0.3 seconds left, something happened on the goal ...

After Game 2 Pounding, The Astros Are Up To Their Necks In Doo Doo
The Astros are in big trouble. They lost Game 1 Tuesday night when the Nationals touched up the best pitcher in baseball for five runs, and came into Game 2 needing to scratch out some offense against a rolling Stephen Strasburg in order to salvage a split at home. They got off to a good start on th...

Josh Gordon's Season Is Over, But Only In New England
The Patriots placed Josh Gordon on injured reserve Wednesday, signaling the end of the receiver’s time in New England. Gordon aggravated two bone bruises in his left knee in the second quarter of the team’s Week 5 win over the New York Giants, when he attempted a tackle after the Giants recovered a ...

Sports Reporter Blasts Slimeball Patriots Fan Who Tried To Kiss Her During <i>MNF</i> Interview
Sports reporter for PointsBet Sportsbook Erin Kate Dolan was interviewing a fan before Monday night’s Pats-Jets football game when a pasty creep wearing a Tom Brady jersey tried to plant a kiss on her. She skillfully ducked him and walked away....

Astros Drop Failed Smear Campaign Against Sports Illustrated, MLB Picks It Up
Less than 24 hours after the Astros issued a statement accusing Sports Illustrated of “fabricating” a story about assistant general manager Brandon Taubman gloating to a group of female reporters about having signed accused domestic abuser Roberto Osuna, the team has changed their tune to something ...

If You’re Defending Tom Brady’s Cheap Martyr Routine, You’re Fucking Pathetic
The scene is good. In case you missed it, have a gander below at the now-infamous scene from the new Paul Rudd show Living With Myself where Tom Brady strolls out of a massage parlor:...

Bill Belichick Delights In Tormenting The Hapless Jets
Viewers who hadn’t already slipped into a coma Monday night will have noticed a funny sequence early in the fourth quarter of the Patriots’ blowout victory over a spectacularly inept Jets team. A pair of declined penalties against New England’s punt team produced the ultra-rare scene of Bill Belichi...

Odell Beckham Jr. Is Pissed About A Big Fine For A Dumb Uniform Violation
Browns receiver Odell Beckham Jr. showed off his gams during Cleveland’s Week 6 loss to the Seattle Seahawks back in Week 6, wearing his uniform pants a couple inches above the knee. Why should you give a rip whether a football man wears his pants above or below the knee, you ask, like a real grump?...

"Spooky" Sam Darnold Sees Dead People In Ghastly Loss To Dreaded Patriots
Sam Darnold’s first game back after a bout with smooching disease went great! The returning hero threw for 300-plus yards, and his Jets upset the Cowboys, and poor, discarded Luke Falk was swiftly forgotten. Darnold was even named AFC Offensive Player of the Week! Darnold’s second game, Monday night...

Report: Astros Assistant GM Yelled "Thank God We Got Osuna" At Female Reporters After ALCS Win
During the Houston Astros’ clubhouse ALCS victory celebration Saturday night, Astros assistant general manager for player evaluation Brandon Taubman taunted three female reporters about the organization’s trade for closer Roberto Osuna, who was suspended for 75 games last season for violating Major ...

FA Cup Match To Be Replayed After Team Walked Off The Field Due To Racist Abuse
It’s been a banner fortnight for racism in English soccer. After the debacle in Sofia, wherein the England national team was racially abused by Bulgarian fans, the racism came home in an FA Cup match this weekend....

High School Cancels Football Season, Fires Coaching Staff After Suspended Player Suits Up With New Identity
A high school in St. Louis canceled the remainder of its undefeated football team’s season and fired the entire coaching staff after it was revealed that a suspended player suited up in a different uniform and played a game....

Andy Dalton Finds New, Miserable Low With Three Picks In Five Plays
The piece of shit Bengals got pantsed at home today by Gardner Minshew and the Jaguars, coughing up a narrow, early fourth-quarter lead and allowing Jacksonville to coast to a double-digit win. They are now 0-7. Nobody went to the game. Joe Mixon had 10 rushes for two yards, and non-QB rushers combi...

Report: Conor McGregor Under Investigation For Second Sexual Assault
Conor McGregor is being investigated by Irish authorities for allegedly sexually assaulting a woman in a car outside of a Dublin pub on Friday, Oct. 11, according to the Irish Times and the New York Times. The Irish Times reported that a “well-known sports figure who is already the subject of a rape...

Giancarlo Stanton And His Bum Quad Will Try To Save The Yankees
This postseason, the New York Yankees are 4-0 when Giancarlo Stanton gets into the game, and 0-3 when he does not. The lack of Stanton’s bat in the lineup isn’t the only reason the Yankees are down 3-1 to the Astros in the ALCS, but it’d certainly help to have him at DH instead of Edwin Encarnacion....

Why NFL Officiating Is Such A Shitshow Right Now
Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the NFL is having officiating problems. This year’s crop of rules controversies has a little bit of everything, from inscrutable procedures and points of emphasis that seem to change on a whim to inexperience within the ranks to the role of technology and the...