and Page 479 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Enes Kanter Says The Blazers Gave Him Six Minutes To Consider Their Contract Offer

Enes Kanter signed a two-year, $10 million deal with the Boston Celtics yesterday, bringing an end to his short but feel-good tenure as a member of the Portland Trail Blazers. Kanter’s time in Portland may have gone on a little longer if the team hadn’t, according to Kanter, given him just a few min...

Nation With Zero Women's World Cups Thinks Defending Champs Are Too Arrogant

The United States women’s national team—three World Cups and four Olympic gold medals to their name—will meet England—zero of either—tomorrow afternoon in Lyon to decide who plays in Sunday’s final, and the English seem rather perturbed with the brimming confidence shown by the Americans. ...

Down A Hole: When Mike Piazza Told Everyone He Wasn't Gay

I don’t remember where I was going or why I was going there, but given the neighborhood I was in and when in my life I was there, I was almost certainly going to a bar. It was raining, and as I hustled down a street that was briefly in that golden New York state of being both smelly and shiny, I saw...

The Heat Are Scrambling To Actually Complete The Jimmy Butler Trade [Update]

For an organization whose supposed signifier around the league is “competently professional,” the Miami Heat sure seem to have botched their big trade for Jimmy Butler. After The Athletic’s Shams Charania reported that a sign-and-trade deal featuring Butler heading to the 305 and Josh Richardson goi...

The Knicks Didn't Think Kevin Durant Was Worth The Max

As if the universe required more proof of the sorry state of the organization’s existence, the New York Knicks have struck out on major free agency targets in a spectacular way. After claiming he knew of big-name free agents that wanted to play for the Knicks, and that the team would have a “very su...

Kevin Durant Is Joining The Nets And DeAndre Jordan Will Be There Too

The Brooklyn Nets might have just launched themselves to the top of the Eastern Conference thanks to two very powerful Woj bombs....

Report: Dutch Couple Claims Wesley Sneijder Drunkenly Danced And Urinated On Their Car

An 35-year-old bald man was arrested last Sunday after he drunkenly danced, hopped and urinated on a car in Utrecht. Initial reports speculated that it was former UEFA Champions League winner Wesley Sneijder in video clips and grainy photos of the incident, but now the elderly couple that owns the c...

Angel Hernandez Gets The Overseas Ovation He Deserves

The Netherlands Huffed And Puffed Until They Blew Italy’s Defense Down

Just because the Netherlands narrowly survived their round of 16 match against Japan thanks to a late penalty didn’t mean that they were out of the woods yet with the tough obstacles ahead of them in the knockout stage of the Women’s World Cup. In fact, on paper their Saturday match up with Italy se...

Kansas City Radio Chud Kevin Kietzman Ousted Following Gross Andy Reid Comments

Sweaty Kansas City radio hot-taker Kevin Kietzman was pulled from his show this week, after clumsily referencing the drug abuse and 2012 death by overdose of Chiefs head coach Andy Reid’s oldest son in order to make a point about Reid’s performance as a football authority figure. Kietzman made the c...

Serial Sexual Harasser Amr Warda Allowed To Rejoin Egypt National Team

On Wednesday, it appeared that the Egypt national soccer team had taken a commendable stand against sexual harassment when it kicked Amr Warda off the team after stories of Warda being a pestering creeper to several women flooded social media. Today, the team clarified that it does not actually take...

Enrique Hernandez Gets Heckled, Smacks Home Run, Blows Kisses At Hecklers

The Rockies were already down one run late in Thursday’s game, and then some doofuses behind home plate had to go ahead and motivate Enrique Hernandez to put them in a deeper hole. Bad idea!...

The Man Who Walked His Life Away

George Wilson stepped out into the medieval-walled prison yard and began to walk. He was 47 years old, beaten-down, and half-starved. His squat frame and stubby legs hardly suggested athletic excellence. But Wilson was well-known as a perambulator, a peregrinator, and a master of “leg-ology.” He was...

Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today

The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...

Lucy Bronze's Stunning Goal Completes England's Demolition Of Norway

England had themselves a chill afternoon in the quarterfinals against Norway, scoring twice in the first half and once a little later on to beat the Norwegians 3-0 and advance to the semifinals, where they’ll face the winners of Friday’s game between the USWNT and France. But before they worry about...

An Interview With The Man Who Enraged A Minor League Baseball Team By Suggesting They Call Themselves The Humpback Chubs

Today, for reasons that were at first very hard to parse, the Grand Junction Rockies, a minor-league team affiliated with the Colorado Rockies, sent out the following aggressive, since-deleted tweets:...

Family Of Murdered Utah Track Athlete Lauren McCluskey Sues School Over "Deliberate Indifference" Before Her Death

The parents of Lauren McCluskey filed a federal lawsuit against the University of Utah and several administrators on Thursday over the school’s alleged failure to take their daughter’s calls for help seriously before she was murdered, as well as their subsequent investigation of McCluskey’s death th...

Vanderbilt Terminates Michigan's Cinderella Run, Wins College World Series

They didn’t have the luxury of superstar pitcher Kumar Rocker on the mound tonight, but Vanderbilt didn’t need him for even a moment in their winner-take-all game against Michigan on Wednesday night. With a dull but decisive 8-2 victory, the Commodores completed a comeback from a 1-0 series deficit,...

Enes Kanter Calls Zion Williamson "Overhyped," "Julius Randle With Hops"

Apologies in advance for presenting the unsuspecting reader with any portion of any conversation between Colin Cowherd and Enes Kanter, as nobody’s day necessarily needed that. But here is their exchange today on the subject of Zion Williamson:...

Righteous Baseball Dude Kumar Rocker Saved Vanderbilt Again

The last time we checked in on freshman Vanderbilt pitcher Kumar Rocker, he had just vanquished the vile Duke Blue Devils with a 19-strikeout no-hitter that also featured some well-earned shit-talking. That start saved Vanderbilt from postseason elimination, and now they are facing off against Michi...