Patriots Clarify That Bill Belichick Isn't A Big Enough Psycho To Have Missed Andrew Luck's Retirement

During a press conference this morning, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was asked to respond to Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck’s shocking retirement, which occurred over the weekend. Belichick’s typically grumbly response at first made it seem as though he had been unaware of the news:

Upon hearing the words, “He’s a good player. I didn’t see that, but I don’t really follow them,” escape from Belichick’s mouth, scores of insufferable Patriots fans throughout the country surely began hooting and hollering about how LOCKED IN their coach is. This guy is so focused on the upcoming season that he didn’t even notice one of the wildest retirements in sports history. What a warrior! they all said, in an annoying accent.

That’s not really what Belichick meant, though. After the press conference was over, the Patriots clarified that when he said, “I didn’t see that,” he meant that he hadn’t seen Luck’s retirement coming, not that he wasn’t aware of the news at all. So chalk this up to an instance of Belichick just being an inartful public speaker rather than a laser-focused football genius.