and Page 489 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Every USWNT Goal Against Thailand, Ranked
If you haven’t heard, the United States puréed Thailand by a score of 13-0 in their 2019 Women’s World Cup opening match today. You don’t score 13 goals without at least some of them being nice, so here’s an objectively correct ranking of every goal:...
Here Are All 13 Goals In The USWNT's Obliteration Of Thailand
The USWNT opened its 2019 Women’s World Cup with a match against Thailand. That match has just ended. The final score was 13-0, the most lopsided World Cup scoreline of all time. Here is what scoring 13 goals in a single game looks like:...
Thailand's World Cup Hopes Could Hinge On Not Getting Stomped By The USWNT
In a few hours’ time, barring a sequence of events so improbable as to not even merit serious concern, the USWNT will have easily beaten Thailand in the two countries’ opening 2019 Women’s World Cup match. The extent of that essentially guaranteed result—as in, whether the U.S.’s impending victory l...
The Netherlands Had To Score A Supremely Stupid Goal To Beat New Zealand
This is why you do not commit to defending for 70 percent of a match. Late in an exciting 0-0 deadlock, New Zealand was managing to hold off the vaunted Netherlands attack through a combination of parking the bus, some nifty goalkeeping from Erin Nayler, and solid individual showcases from center ba...
Which Of These Two Battered Pitchers Suffered The More Humiliating Sequence?
Phillies pitcher Jerad Eickhoff got the rudest of welcomes in his start Monday night in Philadelphia, against the Arizona Diamondbacks. A first-pitch leadoff home run is deflating; allowing back-to-back leadoff dingers is downright demoralizing; serving up back-to-back-to-back taters to open up a st...
The Netherlands Are The Most Fierce And Wild-Eyed Of All The World Cup Dark Horses
There’s a tier below the highest level of Women’s World Cup contenders, and that second tier is the most interesting in the tournament. The top teams are known quantities. It’s pretty easy to figure out how and how well the United States, France, Germany, maybe even England will play. Once you get b...
New Zealand Have Gone Through Hell, And Now They're Back To Being Mediocre
New Zealand are the cockroaches of women’s international soccer—they’re always around. By virtue of playing in limp-ass Oceania and therefore having the luxury to qualify for the biggest tournaments simply by beating up on the even tinier nations around them, New Zealand essentially get free admissi...
Scotland Can Become Stars In Their First Performance On The Big Stage
Most countries making their debut in a tournament like the World Cup are just happy to be there. Implied in a country making it to its first major tournament is that the country in the very recent past was not very good, and its soccer infrastructure is at an incredibly early stage of its developmen...
Righteous Baseball Dude Kumar Rocker Saves Vanderbilt's Season With 19-Strikeout No-Hitter
Vanderbilt found themselves down 1-0 in the best-of-three Nashville Super Regional against Duke, and so they sent stud pitcher Kumar Rocker to the mound to start Game 2 yesterday and asked him to save the season. Rocker responded with 19 strikeouts and a no-hitter, leading Vandy to a 3-0 win....
After Coming Agonizingly Close To World Cup Glory Last Time, England Are Back And Better Than Ever
There’s probably no team with more regret over the 2015 World Cup than England. The Lionesses were knocked out in Canada four years ago by Japan via a cruel 92nd minute own goal by defender Laura Bassett, who sliced a clearance into her own net. That was the painful end to a World Cup where England ...
Max Kepler Kept Calling Trevor Bauer's Bluff
Twins outfielder Max Kepler was fantastic in Thursday’s 5-4 win over Cleveland as he went 4-for-4 with three home runs and a walk. There are two ways to look at this performance, and they’re not mutually exclusive. You could say that Kepler had a hell of a night, and you could say that opposing pitc...
American Teen Amanda Anisimova's Singular Backhand Tore Up The Defending French Open Champ
Amanda Anisimova has a good backhand, so good as to foreclose any technical critique from the peanut gallery. She’s 17 years old and it has already been described by tennis commentators, perhaps accurately, as the best backhand on tour, and, hyperbolically, as the best of all time. I’ll leave those ...
Adrien Broner Sued Over 2018 Sexual Assault Incident, No, Not That One, Another One
Welterweight boxer and all-around shitheel Adrien Broner is being sued in Ohio by a woman he sexually assaulted in a club in Cleveland in June 2018. For those keeping score at home, this is at least the second incident from the first half of 2018 where Broner was arrested for allegedly attacking and...
The Padres Killed A Lot Of Bees For Absolutely No Reason
Bees are dying globally at an alarming rate. And the San Diego Padres are doing their part to kill them....
Bored Man Who Got Paid: "Board Man Gets Paid"
As Kawhi Leonard plays the most impressive basketball of his NBA career, The Athletic’s Jayson Jenks checked in with Leonard’s teammates from his two seasons at San Diego State. It may not shock you to learn that Leonard was, even then, a man of few words. But the words that he did select were perfe...
![Andrew McCutchen Injures Knee In Stupid, Fluky, Unfair, Stupid Rundown [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/zjosm0ucvfnhkyu4khwm.jpg)
Andrew McCutchen Injures Knee In Stupid, Fluky, Unfair, Stupid Rundown [Update]
If a player is going to be injured on the bases, you’d prefer it come from legging out a triple, or barreling into a catcher, or wrapping an arm around a middle infielder on a head-first slide into second base. A perfectly pointless and avoidable rundown between first and second is not at all an occ...
Kawhi Leonard Sues Nike, Says They Stole Control Of His Original Logo Design
Kawhi Leonard has sued Nike, the apparel company with whom he recently ended an endorsement contract, over control of the “Klaw” logo used to identify his branded merchandise. Kawhi says he provided the logo to Nike, and that Nike’s claim to ownership of the logo is based upon an underhanded move to...
Nobody Has It Better Than Liverpool
Along the vast spectrum of possible states a soccer club could exist in, there is a vanishingly small patch that, for my tastes, qualifies as ideal....
CeCe Telfer's National Title Emphasizes The Catch-22 Of Being A Trans Athlete
Because a large percentage of social conservatives only feign interest in women’s sports when trans women compete in them, CeCe Telfer is the most famous NCAA Division II track athlete in the country. Telfer, a senior at Franklin Pierce University, has drawn anger and outrage from all the usual grif...