and Page 508 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Regret To Inform You That You Have To Take The Cowboys Seriously Now
Remember when the Dallas Cowboys were 3-5, Jason Garrett seemed destined for a midseason firing, and Dak Prescott looked like he couldn’t throw for 200 yards in a flag football game? Those were good times for Dallas haters all over the nation, but I am sorry to say that they are definitively over no...

Johnny Boychuk Returned A Lost Tooth And Got Absolutely No Thanks For It
At the end of the second period of a tense, tied Islanders-Bruins game that Boston eventually won in a shootout, New York defenseman Johnny Boychuk made a selfless and nice gesture by picking up his old teammate David Krejci’s tooth when it fell to the ice. And in return, the ungrateful Bruins just ...

Report: Intra-Kings Beef Getting Spicier By The Day
The Kings are not handling success very well. A schism is widening between head coach Dave Joerger and the front office, and it has now reportedly escalated to the point where Joerger doesn’t even want certain of the team’s front office personnel in the same room with his players....

A Suddenly Well-Rounded Nikola Vucevic Could Help You Win
Many otherwise curious basketball fans might be guilty of ignoring the 10-12 Magic. Maybe because they are regular people just hoping to get through the day’s tasks without staring at an infinite procession of 6-foot-10-ish dudes scuttling across the hardwood in search of a jump shot. But if you are...

The Slow Dismantling Of The Cavs Marches On
While everyone was waiting on the Cavaliers to trade old-ass sharpshooter J.R. Smith, a different old-ass Cleveland sharpshooter was instead told to ship out, as Woj is reporting that the Cavs have traded Kyle Korver to the Utah Jazz:...

Baker Mayfield Ushers In Beef Season
Thanksgiving is over: It’s time to ditch the turkey and bring on the beef! This week on Emergency Football Show Weekly, Dom and I discuss Baker Mayfield’s beef with Hue Jackson, the Steelers’ struggles in Denver, and the return of good touchdown celebrations....

Yet Another Indignity Has Been Heaped Upon The Pile Of Failure That Was Once Jon Gruden
Of all the things Jon Gruden has done to orchestrate the complete destruction of the 2018 Oakland Raiders, trading Amari Cooper to the Dallas Cowboys was easily his most defensible decision. Cooper’s slump had extended through all of last season and into this one, and yet Gruden still managed to get...

Darren Collison Crossover Sends Young DeAndre Ayton To Pooptown
DeAndre Ayton is going to do many cool and impressive things over the course of his NBA career, but if he plays for 30 years he will never quite live down this moment, when Darren Collison turned him into a sack of dirt:...

Irish Soccer Team Caught Faking The Death Of Their Own Player To Get Out Of A Game
Ballybrack FC—a real team, I swear—were strongly condemned by the Leinster Senior League—again, a real league of lower-tier Irish soccer clubs—after they committed the grave sin of lying about the death of one of their players, possibly in order to get out of a game this weekend....

Baker Mayfield Is Still Taking Shots At Hue Jackson
You would think having the worst head coaching record with a team in the entire history of the NFL would have been enough punishment—or enough of an indictment. And if not, maybe getting unceremoniously fired midseason might have been sufficient. But no, not only does Hue Jackson have to live with t...

Dammit, Durant
Stephen Curry has missed the last 10 Warriors games with a groin injury. Draymond Green has missed nine of the last 11 Warriors games. The Warriors have looked mostly like crap over that stretch, with losses at home to the Bucks and Thunder, and road losses in Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and to th...

Title-Winning High School Football Coach Freaks Out On Players After Ice Bath
Randy Dreiling, head football coach at St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Overland Park, Kansas, guided the Saints to the first state championship in program history on Saturday. After the 49-28 victory, the Saints, in return, guided their coach into (apparently) his first-ever ice bath in coaching h...

Derek Carr Has Joined His Brother David In Stat Hell
Ravens linebacker Matthew Judon sacked Raiders QB Derek Carr on three consecutive offensive plays during Baltimore’s 34-17 win Sunday. That’s a rare accomplishment. Since 1982, only one other player has sacked the quarterback three straight times in one game: Colts defensive end Brad Scioli, who did...

The Colts and Dolphins Turned It Over On Three Straight Plays
The Dolphins and Colts were cruising along, having a normal game, when they suddenly started to just give the ball to the other team....

The Browns Sure Do Not Appear To Miss Hue Jackson Very Much
The Browns beat the shit out of the Bengals Sunday afternoon. It was Cleveland’s first road win since Week 5 of the 2015 season, and the first time a Browns quarterback won consecutive starts since 2014. And how lovely that former Browns head coach Hue Jackson could be in attendance to watch this pr...
![Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ixehh9mgwgbeldk2uzsj.gif)
Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]
Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...

Spectacular Touchdown Grab Rescued From Nonexistence By NFL's Updated Catch Rule
An extremely cool touchdown catch survived the crucible of rulebook scrutinization and was hauled back from the brink of nonexistence in this afternoon’s surprising Browns beatdown of the Bengals. Baker Mayfield, who is torching the Bengals defense, lobbed a fade to Nick Chubb, operating against sin...

Browns Blockers Help David Njoku Crowd-Surf Into The End Zone
Baker Mayfield has been exposing the Bengals’ defense with every drop back that’s been called for him today. In just one half he’s thrown for almost 250 yards and three touchdowns. The stats are impressive enough but they don’t tell the whole story of just how great his supporting cast has been toda...

Amateur MMA Fighter Somehow Injures Both Of His Legs Celebrating His Knockout Win
Weird shit seems to happen all the time in the lower rungs of MMA. There was the guy who did a front flip off his opponent’s lifeless body, the guy who barfed all over the cage for no good reason, and the other guy who crapped a bunch in the cage (this one at least is not unique to regional MMA). Th...

Elvis Andrus's Best Friend Retires
Adrian Beltre, who played for four major-league teams over 21 seasons, announced his retirement Tuesday. There are other places where you can find informed analysis of just how good he was, when he’ll get into the Hall of Fame, and where he ranks in a list of all-time third basemen. That’s all valua...