and Page 511 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joel Embiid Announces Plans To Expand His Real Estate Empire By Building Additional Housing Units In Andre Drummond's Cranium
Basketball star and no-rent housing innovator Joel Embiid had a monster game against the Pistons yesterday. And in his 39-point performance—32 of them coming in a scorching first half—Embiid achieved his twin goals of clowning on and growing his real estate investments with his favorite rival/unwitt...
MMA Fighter Knocks Out Opponent With Vicious Spinning Elbow
If you weren’t watching the EFC 75 event that took place in Cape Town, South Africa, you missed out on a potential knockout of the year candidate. Just 70 seconds into the first round of the fight, Mzwandile “Shakebone” Hlongwa knocked the lights out of his opponent Torbjorn Madsen with a spinning e...
The Raptors Made Deandre Ayton Look Silly
The Raptors played with some pretty mediocre effort on Friday which kept the terrible Phoenix Suns actually in a game going into the fourth quarter. One of the things that helped Toronto flip the switch and get the offense going was earning some quality assists through the legs of rookie big man Dea...
It's Come To This For The Buffalo Bills
This quarterback update on the Bills is sadder and more revealing than it’s meant to be:...
Former Cavs Assistant Jim Boylan Files Age Discrimination Lawsuit
Former Cleveland Cavaliers assistant coach Jim Boylan, who had been with the team from 2013 until this past offseason, filed a lawsuit in Cuyahoga County court today alleging age discrimination against his former team....
Jon Gruden, After Humiliating Primetime Loss: People "Want To Be A Part Of This"
The Raiders suffered their most humiliating loss of the season Thursday night, a dismal 34–3 pounding to a one-win 49ers team that came into the game with a bottom-ten scoring offense, a bottom-ten scoring defense, and a rookie quarterback making his first career start. The Raiders opened up with a ...
Maryland Football Players Dispute Punter's Description Of Practice Fight
Maryland backup punter Matthew Barber was involved in a physical altercation with at least one teammate after Tuesday’s team practice, and he later told the Baltimore Sun that he was attacked because other players thought that he had been a whistleblower during the investigation into the football pr...
Blazers Fans Play Another Nightmarishly Incompetent Game Of Tic-Tac-Toe
It happened again! Nine months after two Trail Blazers fans played an infuriatingly bad game of tic-tac-toe between quarters, that game has a challenger for the title....
Hue Jackson: If Only The Browns Had Listened More To Hue Jackson
Hue Jackson finished his tenure as head coach of the Cleveland Browns with a record of three wins, 36 losses, and one tie. In hindsight, it’s remarkable that Jackson was given a second year in charge after starting the 2016 season 0–14 and finishing 1–15; it’s even more incredible that he was given ...
Maryland's Board Of Regents Chair Abruptly Resigns Following Board's Spectacular Fuck-Up
This development will not have the day-to-day importance to players on the University of Maryland football team as the firing of head coach DJ Durkin, but it is nonetheless another step in the right direction: James T. Brady, the chair of Maryland’s board of regents, has resigned, effective immediat...
Patrik Laine Came Home And Scored A Hat Trick
Winnipeg Jets wonderkid Patrik Laine has had a bit of a slow start to his third NHL season, earning just five points in his first 12 games and going scoreless in his last five. But a return to his home country of Finland, for a game this afternoon against the Panthers, seems to have jump-started the...
Gregg Williams Is Really Gonna Stick With This "Everyone Wanted To Hire Me" Bit, Huh
Browns defensive coordinator and interim head coach Gregg Williams, who preserved his job and earned a promotion simply by being the least bad of Cleveland’s three senior coaches, wants you to know he doesn’t have to be here. Other teams have been falling over themselves to hire Gregg Williams, best...
Maryland Punter Says Teammates Beat Him Up For Talking To Investigators
The Baltimore Sun is reporting that during Tuesday’s football practice, which was presided over by briefly reinstated and then subsequently fired head coach DJ Durkin, Maryland punter Matt Barber was attacked by teammates who believed he spoke to investigators looking into the death of Jordan McNair...
Chris Simms Recalls The Time Vince Wilfork Busted Up His Genitals Real Good
Former NFL quarterback Chris Simms, who famously got his spleen exploded during a game, went on Mike Florio’s radio show today and shared the story of a different time in which he was grievously and spectacular injured by a big hit....
Jon Gruden: I Get A Ton Of Calls From Players Who Are "Dying To Come And Play Here"
The Thursday night game is Raiders-49ers, which, I’d rather die. But pregame, we get a sitdown interview with Jon Gruden (who you thought couldn’t nuke his roster any further after the trade deadline passed, but that didn’t take into account his chasing players into retirement), conducted by his “go...
After Eating Nothing But Pure Shit For Two Days, Maryland Dumps DJ Durkin
It took players walking out of a team meeting, the resignation of the school president, universal outrage, and public condemnations from the governor and the parents of a dead teenager, but finally Maryland has stumbled desperately into the decision they should’ve made months ago:...
The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...
Bills Fan Faces Stiff Punishment After Cops Pegged Him As Dildo-Thrower
Police were pretty hard on Florida man Michael Abdallah, 34, who was arrested for throwing a dildo on the field during the Patriots-Bills game on Monday. The cops reportedly used security camera footage and eyewitness accounts to grab Abdallah; then they squeezed him for $250 in cash or $1,000 in b...
Maryland Is Big-Time College Football
DJ Durkin is back. The Maryland head football coach, who in the very best-case scenario, was so incompetent at overseeing a program that he allowed it to turn into one so toxic and so physically dangerous to players that it killed one, but who was so competent at instilling a culture of “fear” that ...
The Cavs Can Even Screw Up The Firing Of A Lousy Head Coach
What a weird, awkward situation they’re brewing up in Cleveland. The Cavs fired head coach Tyronn Lue Sunday morning, apparently without establishing whether their intended interim replacement was willing to accept the job, and now they appear to be gearing up the tank. Kevin Love is dead; they’ve s...