and Page 970 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Thing That's Important: Someone Finally Completed The Storied Quadruple Lutz
Stand back from the body of Alois Lutz, Austria: he's spinning in his grave!...

Because Of The New CBA, Carson Palmer Can't Get Enough Practice Time
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Palmer can't work with coaches until tomorrow....

A Partial Defense Of Joe Buck And Tim McCarver
"Buck should commentate funerals." "Fire this emotionless prick." "Buck makes Jim Nantz sound like Gus Johnson." "Tired and lame." The criticism of Joe Buck from the Internet peanut gallery is harsh—and even our friends at The Classical used this very space to describe his announcing as "fistful-o...


The Monster.com For Locked-Out Basketball Players
Lots of hoopsters will spend the lockout overseas—we told you about six-foot-nine human cannoli Brian Scalabrine, who is wrecking the Italian league, and Nets guard Deron Williams, who'll be hanging in Turkey. But there are others who don't have the immediate name recognition of Scal and Deron, and ...

This Is What Happens When Things Get Real At The Tuscaloosa Waffle House
"Investigators have determined that the fight was linked to an August robbery, [Tuscaloosa Police Department spokesman Sgt. Brent ] Blankley said. ... The camera that captured the fight on video was turned on after security in the restaurant made the parties involved leave the building. Blankley s...

Derek Holland Put On A Headset Last Night And Did Impressions Of Harry Caray And Arnold Schwarzenegger
Your morning roundup for Oct. 25, the day we got trapped in a toddler swing. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Sean McDonough On Oliver Luck: "What An Idiot"
This happened Saturday night during a commercial break in Stanford's blowout win over Washington, which was broadcast on ABC/ESPN. McDonough, the play-by-play man, is a Syracuse grad, and Syracuse had beaten the shit out of West Virginia the night before. Just as the cameras found Oliver Luck in t...

Mario Balotelli: Spokesman For Firework Safety
Man City's mercurial striker had one hell of a weekend. He set his rented $4.8 million house on fire after setting off fireworks in the bathroom. He scored the first two goals in a 6-1 thrashing of second place Manchester United at Old Trafford, Sir Alex's "worst ever" defeat. He drove through Manch...

A Provocation: My Al Davis Story
The following is republished with permission from the author's blog, Bluenatic.com....

Brandon Jennings Needs A Refresher In Oblate Spheroids And Lockout Logic
If there was one thing that my high school science teachers taught me, it was that I should immediately lose any delusions about ever becoming a doctor, or doing anything related to memorization or numbers or earth science ever—and I thank them for that. But I think somewhere along the way, I did le...

Seven-Time Ohio Columnist Of The Year Wonders If Maybe Students Didn't Enjoy Being Sexed By Their Teacher
Paul Daugherty, in addition to having a regular gig on SI.com, has been a sports columnist at the Cincinnati Enquirer for a long, long time. So long that they've given him a daily "write about whatever shit you want to" column, which appears to run with minimal editing....

Rob Gronkowski's Porn Star Ladyfriend Says She Humped Dan Uggla And Assorted Married Athletes
Bibi Jones, noted buddy of Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, and star of such acclaimed flicks as The Crib and Babysitters 2, appeared on the Toucher and Rich Show today to tell her tales....

Coach Extraordinaire Marty Schottenheimer Finally Captures That Elusive Title
"Aaron Rouse returned one of his three interceptions 46 yards for a touchdown to help the Virginia Destroyers win the United Football League championship game, 17-3 over the Las Vegas Locomotives on Friday night. ... The Destroyers gave coach Marty Schottenheimer his first pro title."...

Royal And Ancient Golf Club Updates Stupid And Ancient Rules
Golf's governing body, The Royal and Ancient Golf Club, has updated some of its stupid and ancient rules. Among other overdue adjustments: golfers will no longer be penalized with a stroke if a gust of wind displaces the ball. The organization is still grappling with dinosaur interference. [AP]...

One "All Blacks" Fan Stands Out In This Rugby World Cup Crowd Shot
Writes tipster Ryan W., "The Rugby World Cup finals are on currently airing NBC. I took a break from watching terrible NFL games to catch some of the finals between France and New Zealand (aka the 'All Blacks'). During a shot of the New Zealand crowd, I spotted this charming young man on the right ...

You'd Probably Curse Too If You Got Stuck Reffing The Seahawks/Browns Game
Tipster Israel M. sent along this little snippet titled, "Ref in Cleveland-seattle game yells FUCK." Yes, he sure seems to do so....

Rob Gronkowski, Hanging Out With Porn Star Bibi Jones, Looks Like He's Enjoying His Bye Week
The Patriots don't play this weekend, and Bill Belichick's authoritarian grip on his players is apparently taking some in-season time off, too. Gronkowksi, the Patriots' rookie second-year tight end, reportedly went back to Arizona (where he played in college) to unwind, and by all indications he's...

It Seems As If There's A Proper Protocol To Follow In A "Redneck FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There's no indication as to watch brought on this scrap between Cody "Ol Blue" Bridges and Aj "fag." Maybe it was just something that needed to be done. But whatever it was, it resulted in a solid number of punches being landed, to the delight of the redneck fans....

A Rugby World Cup Final Preview For Americans Who Don't Know Shit About Rugby But Like Hakas
Chris Benz and Dave Shireley will be filing dispatches from the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, in the odd moments that they are sober. For a rugby glossary and position guide, click here....