ann Page 204 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lionel Messi’s Goals Look Just As Good Written Down
Here's the original version if you like your words to come with moving pictures....

Introducing The Deadspin Intern You'll Inevitably Christen "Femtern"
For all two of you who were wondering, I am the new Deadspin intern. Naturally, I'll be the "Emtern"—you know, Ben, Bentern, Emma, Emtern. But if I know Deadspin at all, I'll probably be remembered as the Femtern....

NYC Already Planning Yankees World Series Parade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Danny Woodhead: Not Particularly Small, Just White
Last night, as was to be expected, Jon Gruden and the rest of the Monday Night Football gang talked about fun-sized pigment curio Danny Woodhead with the sort of insight and gravitas one finds on the cover of Bop Magazine....

This Is What Happens When Three NBA Players Appear On The Fox Business Network
Andre Iguodala, Josh Smith, and Russell Westbrook stopped by the Fox Business Network to promote NBA 2K11 and were ambushed by a strange British man who asked leading questions about paying taxes. Awkward and informative. [SB Nation, Free Darko]...

When The Premier Leaguer Met The Hot Transsexual, "Some Oral Stuff" Happened
It's the age-old story. A married soccer player meets a cute girl on Facebook. They flirt for a while before finally hooking up in a club's bathroom. The girl turns out not to be a girl....

The Fire Joe Morgan Pledge Drive Is Nearing Its Goal
Ken Tremendous checks in: "$4680 has been donated, so our $5000 is right around the corner." Donate in Mike Celizic's memory to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or Sloan-Kettering and send a copy of your receipt to [email protected]....

SportsCenter First Is A Milestone For Attractive, Well-Dressed Female Journalists
At noon today, two female SportsCenter anchors handed the baton off to two other women, a first in the show's long history. Truly this is a monumental day in the long struggle for women's rights....

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

At Promoter's Request, Ines Sainz To Work Pacquiao Fight
Bayanihan Tayo! reports Ms. Ines Sainz will "work the microphone for the weigh-ins and other events concerning the [Pacquiao/Margarito] fight" at Top Rank's Bob Arum's behest....

And Now A Return To Terrible Normalcy
Good day? Great day. Thanks again to the crew at Fire Joe Morgan for choosing us as their re-reunion destination. It was a joy to read and was enough of a break for me to get really, really pissed about tacos....

Is This Normal?
There's something in this article that is incredibly weird and scary. So, as you prepare to read it...just be cool. Relax your shoulders. Buy a nice sound machine and set it to "Babbling Brook." Take deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth....

Here's A Video Of Tony Kornheiser Teaching Bill Simmons How To Wear A Tie
The Sports Fella's hosting PTI for the rest of the week, so it looks like we'll be watching PTI this week. There you go, indeed, Tony. H/T Trey Kerby....

You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best, The Hottest Non-Working Blog In The World...Fire Joe Morgan
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED....

Your Comments Will Now Be Judged Differently
Yes. I know. Who's excited about a change in the commenting system? YAY. But, this time, I think you'll find these new additions helpful in your quest to become a commenting superstar. Pickle?...

Is CBS Letting Shannon Sharpe's Domestic Violence Case Slide?
Thursday, Sharpe's girlfriend took out a restraining order against him. Sunday, he was on our TVs. This wouldn't be an issue, if not for Warren Sapp going through similar events last year, and being immediately reprimanded....

Intern Horrors: The One About Rhinoceros Testicles And The Old Munitions Depot
Hello and welcome back to Intern Horrors, the occasional feature wherein browbeaten office lackeys complain about having their brows beaten to various degrees. Today, explosions in close proximity to a stash of rhinoceros testicles, Black Monday, old-man nudity, and more....

Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....

Join The Deadspin Facebook Page And You Could Possibly Fingersmash Someone At Our Next Party
Oh boy. Since close to 15,000 people are now part of the robust Deadspin Facebook group, it's becoming almost impossible for people not to get laid. YOU SHOULD BE NEXT....
