ant Page 387 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Antoine Griezmann Announces His Intent To Stay With Atlético Madrid In Moronic TV Special
Antoine Griezmann is famously a huge basketball head (though he’s much less well-versed in other aspects of American culture...), so it wasn’t totally surprising when he announced yesterday that he would reveal his long-awaited choice of whether to stay at Atlético Madrid next season or leave for Ba...
Italy's Most Beloved Cyclist Rode Hard, Died Young, And Might've Lost His Career To A Rigged Drug Test<em></em>
It makes sense that Marco Pantani remains Italy’s most beloved cyclist 14 years after his death. Italy is one of cycling’s most vibrant strongholds, and like Brazilian soccer fans, the tifosi demand not just mere victory, but style. Vincenzo Nibali’s snoozer of a 2014 Tour de France win is fine, but...
It Seems Like Draymond Green Truly Dislikes Tristan Thompson
It is not uncommon to see two NBA players who just spent a game or even an entire series scrapping and talking wild shit to each other suddenly shaking hands and hugging once the buzzer goes off. It’s a particular quirk of the NBA, a league in which guys can say truly vile things during the game and...
NFL Kicker Graham Gano Brings His Family Kickball Game To A Satisfying End
Panthers placekicker Graham Gano was told “just don’t kick it hard” as he lined up for an attempt in his family’s kickball game, but that’s kind of tough to do when it’s his job to kick it hard....
A Good Plant: <i>Ilex Opaca</i>, The American Holly
It has been a rough year for my five little holly trees, transplanted last spring from a nursery to the muddy, weedy slope of the western edge of my home property, along the stupidly long driveway. ...
Bitchin' Politician Just Blasts Himself Right In The Eyeballs With Pepper Spray!
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper s...
Ho Hum, Dennis Rodman Weeping On CNN Over The Personal Sacrifices He's Made To Broker Peace With North Korea
Monday night North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un joined a historic summit with Donald Trump, a sleazy failed businessman turned sleazy reality television star turned sleazy opportunistic Republican turned President of the United States, and I mean to tell you we haven’t even gotten to the truly psyche...
Report: Deontay Wilder And Anthony Joshua Reach Agreement On Heavyweight Unification Mega-Fight
WBC heavyweight champion Deontay Wilder has agreed to terms to fight IBF, IBO, WBA, and WBO champion Anthony Joshua in a highly anticipated and exceedingly rare heavyweight unification bout, to be held in the United Kingdom, according to a report from ESPN’s Dan Rafael:...
Finally, There's Video Of The Mizzou Arena Joyride
Nearly a year later, footage of one man’s bold, very illegal joyride through Missouri’s basketball stadium has been made public. It does not disappoint....
Cool Dads Stephen Colbert And Patrick Wilson Deliver Surprisingly Earnest National Anthem Performance
You will be forgiven if you look at the seemingly random pairing of Stephen Colbert and Patrick Wilson lining up to perform the national anthem at a Mets game and think “whuh?” Because, like, whuh? A comedian talk show host and the Insidious guy? Turns out, these nerds can fuckin’ sing!...
Let’s Revisit Anthony Bourdain’s Hilariously Disastrous Trip To Romania<em></em>
There is an inexhaustible stock of incredible moments of connection, understanding, and joy in the archives of Anthony Bourdain’s show—A Cook’s Tour, No Reservations, The Layover, and Parts Unknown are really just four iterations of the same show—that the world inevitably feels like a brighter, more...
Anthony Bourdain Was Who I Wish I Was
As I’d imagine many or, who knows, maybe even most of those who admired him did, I once had the strange experience of realizing that Anthony Bourdain seemed to know a place I lived better than I did. In 2009, his No Reservations program went to Chicago, and if he didn’t get the entire city, which of...
Anthony Bourdain Stood Up For Women Without Making It About Him<em></em>
Somebody gave me a copy of Kitchen Confidential shortly after I graduated from college; I wish I remembered who. I mostly subsisted on Trader Joe’s frozen meals back then, and I’m almost certain I had never heard of Anthony Bourdain....
Giants' Zak DeOssie Reported His Super Bowl Rings Stolen, Actually Left Them On Top Of His Car
Last month Zak DeOssie thought his championship rings were purloined, but a police investigation concluded that the Giants long snapper had done what many people have with coffee mugs, briefcases, and other items they forget about while getting into their car....
Extremely Online Baseball Knowers Go To War Over "Games Above .500"
Baseball is Ye Olde American Pastime, old enough to have developed its own language and customs and conventions. For example, everyone who follows baseball knows that “7.1 innings” should be understood to mean “seven-and-a-third innings,” even though that’s not at all how decimals work. You could re...
Kendrick Perkins And Kevin Durant Have A Friendly, Obscene Moment Together
Kendrick Perkins, nominally on the Cavs roster, is just there to wear a suit and start shit. He’s a large, rude chaperone who escorts the team from Cleveland to the Bay and back, occasionally stepping up to yell at or near Drake or knock knees with Steph Curry. Last night he fully embraced his role ...
Just How Extremely Over Are The NBA Finals?
Let me take you inside the game for a moment: we record the Deadcast a little while before you actually hear the Deadcast. It is not, despite the seamlessly integrated ads and effortlessly fluid riffage, a live show. When we recorded this one on Wednesday morning, the NBA Finals were not quite as ex...
Kevin Durant Lightly Restrained After Hearing Very Funny Or Very Boring Heckle<em></em>
Last night, it was not “KD you suck” that got Kevin Durant’s attention and made him walk slowly in the direction of the heckler, but rather that classic barb that gets under everyone’s skin: “KD! You cheesebutt!”...
The Phillies And Their Dumb Shift Just Handed Third Base To Kris Bryant
The Cubs beat the Phillies 7-5 in a thriller on Wednesday night that culminated in a walk-off grand slam dinger from Jason Heyward. This came right after the Phillies had taken a 5-3 lead in the top half of that inning on a two-run smash from Dylan Cozens. The win-probability graph alone is exciting...
Kevin Durant Is A Recurring Nightmare
The bad dream that’s afflicting LeBron James is a long one, replete with horrors. J.R. Smith is there, wandering around with a lit M-80 in his hand. Jordan Clarkson is somehow lurking around every corner, wearing Kobe Bryant’s face as a mask. Kevin Love’s drowning in a glass water tank and LeBron ca...