ant Page 528 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
DeMarre Carroll Leaves Atlanta For Toronto, Is Getting Paid
DeMarre Carroll has joined Pero Antic as the second former Atlanta Hawk to elect to play on foreign soil for the upcoming season....
The Spurs Are Reloading
We’re just a few hours into the NBA free-agency period, and the San Antonio Spurs—the team that spends most offseasons chilling, drinking wine, and then eventually scooping up scrap-heap free agents who will later win them a playoff game—are making some goddamn moves....
Anthony Davis Agrees To NBA's Richest Deal
At midnight last night, NBA teams were allowed to begin negotiations with their players. One minute after that, the Pelicans and Anthony Davis agreed to a max extension that could keep the 22-year-old star center in New Orleans through 2021. One minute after that, Davis announced the news:...
Jon Stewart: Scalia Used The Old Man Dictionary To Write His Dissent
Last Friday, the Supreme Court ruled to recognize same-sex marriages nationwide, much to the delight of a whole lot of people. Except of course, resident crank Justice Antonin Scalia, who wrote a dissent that, from most reasonable folks’ perspective, sounded like nonsense....
Cats: They're Bad
You walk into a cat house and you know it right away: A crazy person lives here. No amount of vacuuming, air-freshening, laundering, or outright bleaching will banish the insidious juniper reek of feline; a cat house smells like a cat house, and for this we can be grateful, because it lets us know n...
Cyclist Fight!
This happened just beyond the finish line at this weekend’s Longsjo Classic. Based on the bib numbers, the guy throwing the punches is named Jerome Townsend, and the dude getting popped is named Dave Warner....
Kobe Bryant Unbothered By His New Teammate Calling Him A Rapist
There was a mild kerfuffle following last week’s NBA draft, when some internet sleuth went spelunking into the Twitter history of Lakers draft pick Larry Nance Jr. and found this old tweet:...
Giancarlo Stanton Reportedly Has Broken Bone In Hand; Everything Sucks
Giancarlo Stanton has been crushing baseballs all season long, smacking out an MLB-leading 27 homers and driving in an MLB-leading 67 runs. So you can understand everyone’s trepidation when he announced some sort of hand injury suffered during yesterday’s game against the Dodgers. And it looks like ...
This Is What Old Navy Thinks Bloggers Wear
Good news, everyone: Old Navy has launched a line that caters to blogging scum so you don’t have to deal with any pesky browsing to get the latest... writer fashion. Blogger looks, baby!...
Hawks Unveil New Neon Uniforms
It didn’t have to be this way. The Atlanta Hawks could have designed nice, normal uniforms, like other teams get to have. They could have avoided aiming for “retro-futuristic” and missing so badly they ended up with “textured alarm clock.”...
Giancarlo Stanton Hits Baseball Through All Dimensions, Shattering Each
Giancarlo Stanton continues smacking baseballs higher and further than us humans deserve. My only reaction to this latest bomb, Stanton’s 26th of the season, is perhaps the highest compliment one man can pay another: It moved....
Gator Mercifully Chews Idiot's Arm Instead Of Totally Eating Him [Update]
Update (3:25 p.m.): This guy is a scientist, not a golfer. The original post is below....
Michael Oher Says <i>The Blind Side</i> Was Bad For His Career
New Panthers left tackle Michael Oher got into a fight at minicamp yesterday. It was a good one: he and DE Kony Ealy both threw punches, and wrestled each other to the ground before they were pulled away by teammates. Ron Rivera blamed the near-100-degree heat. Oher blamed that Sandra Bullock movie....
Eat Shit, Cardinals
By now, you know that the St. Louis Cardinals—the sports equivalent of the Duggar clan—are currently under investigation by the FBI for hacking into a Houston Astros database. (The FBI! That means they’re fucked.) And not only did they allegedly hack into another team’s system, but they allegedly di...
Let's Go Live To Drunk Blackhawks Fans [UPDATE: There's More!]
You knew this was coming: live shots of reporters in Chicago being overwhelmed by drunks. But wait! There’s more—including the line of the night, “They got black people lovin’ hockey!”...
We Hopped A Fence And Explored The Ruins Of Candlestick Park
On Saturday, Ryan and a friend sneaked into San Francisco’s Candlestick Park home of the Giants from 1960-1999 and the 49ers from 1971-2013. Demolition began in November of last year, but after opposition from local residents to an implosion, crews began to tear it down manually. That demolition has...
Man Grilling Guinea Pig In Prospect Park Is A Hero
On Saturday morning, an emergency call about squirrel abuse sent police to Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. When the officers arrived, they found not the brutal torture of a park squirrel, but what you see above: a happy Ecuadorean man, toasting a guinea pig on a wooden pole beneath sun and sky, free and b...
John Carpenter's <i>Assault On Precinct 13 </i>Is Ice Cold And Just Right
John Carpenter’s original Assault on Precinct 13 is one of the greatest zombie movies of all time, and there’s not a single zombie in it. The elements are all there: The chilling synth score, a cast of randoms thrown together by chance, an isolated siege site, the narrow escapes and eerie moments be...
Nobody Hits Harder Than Giancarlo Stanton
It’s always fun when an advanced baseball statistic definitively backs up what you see on the field. For example, if you were to watch a few clips of hulking outfielder Giancarlo Stanton mashing taters out of the ballparks of America, you might come away from the experience thinking that nobody else...