ant Page 554 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Down With Cutesy Cleaning Supplies
I didn't even want to buy the hedgehog dryer balls in the first place....

Home Run Explodes In Woman's Beer Cup
At least three people tried to catch this home run—although "tried" might be a stretch for the guy in orange—and it eluded all of them. With all the hands in front of her face, this poor woman made no attempt whatsoever to catch the ball, and probably assumed at least one of the dudes around her w...

Man Seeks Girls To Host Fantasy Football Draft, Possibly While Topless
The cool bro you see above is, according to this Craigslist post, looking for two girls to host his upcoming fantasy football draft. All he needs is a couple of girls to run the draft board, serve the fellas some drinks, and, you know, wear a bikini or some sexy lingerie and maybe even pop those...

<em>They Came Together</em>: The Second-Best Romantic Comedy Spoof Ever
I'm just a guy, sitting in front of a screen, asking it to make me laugh at beautiful, awkward, charming people who are falling in love. The romantic comedy can be a fine way to burn two hours, but it's a silly genre at heart, with its contrived meet-cutes and drawn-out misunderstandings, and also...

There Is No Explanation For Blowing This Call
This was a trapped ball. It was pretty clear, and indisputably so on replay. Yet umpires upheld their initial ruling of a catch, even after Ron Gardenhire's challenge. My headline up there isn't some huffy hyperbole on just how baffling the call was—it's about how umpires literally didn't give an ...

Raiders Pretend To Be Interested In San Antonio
The San Antonio Raiders! That'd be weird, huh? One report says that owner Mark Davis took an exploratory visit to the city earlier this month, since the Raiders' lease in Oakland expires after this NFL season....
![Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....

Adorable Kid Hugs His Dad For Catching A Foul Ball
Here we have a brief moment from this afternoon's Padres-Braves game and, god damn, is it ever the cutest. Dad and son take in an afternoon ballgame when all of sudden, a foul ball comes their way. Triumphant dad displays the ball he has just snagged, his son echoes that triumph for exactly one se...

Patriots Screw Panthers, Claim Their Sixth-Round Rookie Running Back
Panthers running back Tyler Gaffney injured his left meniscus last Friday, so his rookie season's already done. Normally, Carolina would place him on injured reserve, but because teams still have 90-man rosters at this point of the season, injured players have to clear waivers before they can be shi...

D.C. Station Remembers The Good Times, When Radio Guys Could Say "Fag"
WJFK, a CBS-owned sportstalker serving the D.C. market, made a big announcement last week. LaVar Arrington, the former Washington Redskins star and longtime co-host of the station's afternoon show, LaVar and Dukes, had moved to Los Angeles to join the NFL Network. Instead of hiring a big-name replac...

Workers Who Built Qatar's World Cup HQ Haven't Been Paid In A Year
The situation for migrant workers in Qatar, which one international organization believes will result in more deaths than 9/11, doesn't appear to be getting any better. The Guardian, which has been all over this story, has a new report on migrant workers who have not received payment in over a year ...

Yasiel Puig Hit Three Triples And Barely Broke A Sweat
Yasiel Puig hit three triples and a double last night and made it look pretty damned easy. He finished the night 4-5 and became the second Dodger to hit three triples in one game and the first to do it since 1901. The last guy to hit three triples in one game was Denard Span did it for the Twins i...

U.S. Rep Mistakes American Officials For Foreigners; Awkwardness Reigns
The Cable at Foreign Policy has documented the collapse of the American government. In a congressional hearing on Thursday, Rep. Curt Clawson of the 19th District of Florida, mistook two senior American officials, Nisha Biswal and Arun Kumar, for representatives from the Indian government, and repea...

Independent Baseball League Adopts New Rules To Speed Up Games
The Atlantic League, and eight-team professional independent baseball league, has decided to get a little creative and institute some new rules that will help speed up the pace of play....

Why Pete Rose, Lance Armstrong And Mike Tyson Won't Fade Away
Nice story over at Grantland by Bryan Curtis on the never-ending sagas of Armstrong, Tyson and Rose:...

Bryant Gumbel Says Smart Things About Tony La Russa And Mark McGwire
We'll take any allies in the war on the war on PEDs, even if that ally is the most self-satisfied broadcaster on television, a man who makes Bob Costas look like Woody Allen. Listen to Bryant Gumbel here. He speaks truth. ...

Madison Bumgarner Can Dominate Without You Even Noticing
Last night's game between the Giants and Phillies was interrupted by a rain delay in the 4th inning that lasted nearly an hour. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a good time to just abandon watching the game altogether, but Madison Bumgarner was on the mound for the Giants, and that...

Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...

Dammit, Justin Bieber, Stay The Hell Away From Kevin Durant
According to Justin Bieber's Instagram account, which is usually a repository for the pop singer's embarrassing and fraudulent basketball "highlights," Biebs recently grabbed a quick brunch with Kevin Durant. Fuck you, Justin Bieber....

Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...