ant Page 663 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Uggla Celebrated His Home Run Last Night By Dong-Bumping David Ross (Video)
Uggla had just hit a two-run homer off Cole Hamels in the bottom of the third to put the Braves ahead, 3-1. There was a playoff spot riding on this game, of course, so there was reason to be excited. But ... what was that?...

SprtsCntr: The Collapses Were Epic, And So Were the Clichés
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

And Your MLB Wild-Card Teams Are The St. Louis Cardinals And The Tampa Bay Rays
The Cardinals beat the Astros 8-0 behind Chris Carpenter's complete game two-hitter. Sounds simple. But the rest wasn't. They'd have to wait a while to get all all celebratory in the locker room....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The End Is The Beginning
It was a frightful beating that gave rise to Deadspin's ongoing search for the meaning of Bartolo Colon—the 38-year-old Yankees starter got knocked out of the first inning against the Blue Jays, surrendering 8 runs (3 earned), an outing so bad it raised questions about the pitcher's very purpose in ...

The Ups And Downs Of Sidney Crosby's Scrambled Brain
Our old friend Katie Baker has published an exhaustive timeline of Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby's concussed 2011 at Grantland.com. Take those things out of your ears and go read it! [Grantland]...

More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...

SprtsCntr: The Wild-Card Races Tie It All Together
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

Screw You, And Screw Your Man Card
I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic l...

Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...

Forget Boston, The Braves Are Going To Blow Their Playoff Spot
Folks fret a lot about the national sports media—we suppose this includes Deadspin—overcovering Boston sports. When it comes to John Lackey's personal calamities, we pay attention with good reason. But maybe the Red Sox's collapse, hanging over all of Lackey's baggage, is too big a deal. There's ano...

Did Kirk Herbstreit Drop An F Bomb In The LSU/WVU Booth Last Night?
Your morning roundup for Sept. 25, the day Catwoman got real. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video H/T Casey)...

I-Team: Was Bruce Bochy Giving Interviews On The Shitter Last Night At Dodger Stadium?
Tipster Andrew sent us the above photo of the San Francisco Giants manager and added this: "Check out this screen shot of Bruce Bochy's postgame interview. Notice anything odd in the background? Is it possible the man is giving an interview while dropping a deuce?"...

"Life Is Like A Jump Shot": Reviewing The Unremarkable History Of NBA Rappers
NBA players like rapping, and that is a fact of the universe that we are powerless to stop. The way that I have tended to deal this phenomenon is generally to ignore it completely. It is shockingly easy to do: Just as I do with Kreayshawn, I pretend that NBA rappers do not exist, that they have neve...

The Fake Outrage Over Fake Injuries; Or, How To Piss On An NFL Sideline Without Anyone Seeing
Faking injuries in the NFL is a time-honored method of stopping the momentum of an opponent and giving your own team a much-needed breather. It's like calling a timeout in basketball when the other team is on a big run. Since football doesn't have the luxury of all those silly 20-second timeouts, th...

Bryan Stow Speaks His First Words Since Dodger Stadium Beating
Great update via the website through which Bryan Stow's family keeps the world apprised of how his recovery from a brutal beating outside Dodger Stadium is going....

Jamaal Charles Takes A Ride On The Fantasy Meat Wagon
There's an ad on the front page of NFL.com now. It shows Jamaal Charles being carted off with a torn ACL, near tears. His health, shot. His livelihood, threatened (only about 35 percent of his contract is guaranteed money). The Chiefs' season, shot....

If The '90s Braves Were Doctoring The Ball, More Power To Them
Where does the credit go for the dominant Braves pitching staffs of the 1990s? Smoltz, Glavine and Maddux themselves? A front office that got them, kept them, and found nearly-as-dominant fourth starters seemingly every year? A goodly amount of praise has been heaped on Leo Mazzone, the pitching coa...