ant Page 712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
If You Bet On The Patriots, You're A Huge Dick
Dude loses Super Bowl XLII bet, gets 6-inch penis wearing Giants helmet tattooed on his thigh. Or maybe he asked a genie for a "giant penis," and it was one of those Monkey's Paw-type ironies. [Barstool Sports] [Mildly NSFW photo inside]...
Young Philip Rivers Did Not Make Funny Faces, Apparently Wanted To Play For The Bears
"I discovered I went to elementary school with Phillip [sic] Rivers (he's 2 years older)," wrote commenter Gottliebs Cards. "If anyone is interested I'll scan some pics." Interested? You bet your ass we're mildly kind of halfway interested....
This Might Shock You, But Andy Reid Was A Large Child
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Things Are Getting Really, Really Weird In Carolina
The 34-3 loss to New Orleans is one thing. An expected thing. But what's going on in this picture tipster Bryan R. just sent? Don't tell me there's a water bottle hidden behind random dude's head, either. There ain't....
Chinese Football Coach Studies Genitals In Order To Find The Next Messi
We've checked our calendar and apparently it's not April 1st for a while yet. Still, that hasn't stopped Chinese newspaper Yangtze Evening Post running a story on a new scouting method for young Chinese football stars — genital assessment....
Is This The Machine Or An Imposter On The Tonight Show?
Click to view Brian Wilson took his routine to The Tonight Show last night and—among other things—introduced The Machine to the Jaywalking-loving audience (around the 3:30 mark). Either Pat Burrell gained weight, or we have a whole new mystery on our hands....
Pablo Sandoval Celebrated Exactly How You'd Think
With a trip to family-style Italian chain restaurant Buca di Beppo and a Colossal Brownie Sundae ("ideal for up to 6"). He promises to be in shape for Spring Training. Heard that before. [Inside Scoop SF]...
Watch The Giants' Championship Parade
The Giants parade is going strong. Watch it here, but beware of Commies, pinkos, gays, dopeheads and Brian Wilsons....
People Are Psyched That Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's Baseball Team Won, According To Chris "Mad Dog" Russo
Professional yelling person Chris Russo, who once yelled some stuff about his Giants, tells our old friend Ben Cohen, "I'm amazed at how many fans are happy for me." [WSJ]...
Last Night's Winner: Lunatic America
So, yeah, the towering weirdos and self-styled public slapdicks are big winners yet again, and this being America, we cannot let such a momentous occasion pass without being loudly stupid about it....
A Roundup Of Happy San Franciscans Yelling About The Giants
In an interview with Karl Ravech following Game 5, Giants ace Tim Lincecum said he hoped "a lot of beer [was] flowing and [a lot of] smoke [was] in the air." San Francisco did not disappoint Timmy....
In Which People Get Pissy When A College Coach Tells An Opponent He's Going To Choke
Florida-Georgia is still a big deal to them, even if neither team matters this year. But a Georgia coach cursing and grabbing his throat at UF's kicker before the gamewinning FG seems to have struck a nerve....
When World Series Riots Go Wrong, People Get Hit By Cars
Here's some footage that's going around today. In it, a rowdy crowd celebrates the Giants win with vandalism and a bonfire. Then a car comes through the crowd and a mob swarms the car and driver until police show up. Holy shit....
Impressive Dunk Makes Announcer Shout Something Your Grandmother Might Say
With a clear lane to the hoop—thanks to Manu Ginobili getting burned going for a steal—Eric Gordon threw down a spectacular dunk last night. One that made Clippers play-by-play guy Ralph Lawler delightfully exclaim, "Oh me oh my!" [Awful Announcing]...
Last Night's Winner: Edgar Renteria, MVP The Earl Weaver And Babe Ruth Way
It's not a shock that the Giants did it with pitching, defense and the three-run homer, as espoused by Weaver. It is a shock that the homer came from dink-hitter Edgar Renteria, and that he apparently called his shot....
For The First Time Ever, San Franciscans Are On Top Of A Muni Bus, Not Beneath It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Because He Can, Bear Grylls Jumps Onto A Moving Helicopter And Calls It An Alley-Oop
Bear Grylls is doing a three-part series of short videos for Degree Men deodorant in which Mark Messier "coaches" him through challenges from professional athletes. In the latest installment, Kevin Durant tells him to do a heli-oop. So he does....
The San Francisco Giants Are World Champions
The Giants beat the Rangers 3-1 in Game 5 tonight for their first World Series title in 56 years, and Timmy's locks are about to get a well-deserved champagne lather....
Your "First Of Three Consecutive Cliff Lee Starts" Giants-Rangers Open Thread
If Cliff Lee does his thing better than Tim Lincecum, we go back to the Bay. If not, the Giants are champs, and Lee signs for the league minimum next year. Enjoy this, possibly our last open thread. Until 8:30....