the-machine - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kevin Durant Wishes To Separate Himself From "The Machine," But Plugs Into It DailyJ.R. Moehringer has a rich profile of Kevin Durant, in the middle of his Achilles rehab, up at the Wall Street Journal today. The new Brooklyn Net drains deep threes in a swimming pool, explains the decay of his relationship with Oklahoma City, details the purported offensive limitations of the Gold...

Pat Burrell's Still Got ItBaseball has been a much more boring sport ever since Pat "The Machine" Burrell decided to hang up the spikes. But Burrell hasn't left us completely behind. Now a scout with the Giants, Burrell showed up at yesterday's game to take a few hacks in BP. Wearing slacks and a pair of Vans, the ol' slugge...

Pat Burrell Is Retiring, But "The Machine" Just Might Live OnMLB Trade Rumors had it first, and noted rich guy Jon Heyman confirmed on Twitter: Pat Burrell is retiring. The thumping, lumbering outfielder posted a .253/.361/.472 line in 12 MLB seasons, most of them with the Phillies. He had ranked 25th among active players in home runs. He won two World Series...

Pat Burrell Is The Machine. Fact.

In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the identity of Brian Wilson's special gimp-gear-laden pal, affectionately called The Machine....

Here's Video Of The Time Brian Wilson Made Lopez Tonight Watchable For Nine Minutes

Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants closer and medium through which people can communicate with The Machine, went on George Lopez's television show the other night. He was dressed like a boat captain. Likes: Old Spice and Red Lobster. Dislikes: Water....

Video-Chat With Brian Wilson And Wait For An Appearance From "The Machine"

VYou has just launched "The Players Clubhouse" section where you, friendly voyeur, can interact with Brian Wilson, Josh Hamilton, Torii Hunter, and David Ortiz. Please ask Hamilton how many of those giant books he's used for cutting lines. [VYou]...

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen Vs. No. 7 The Machine

Our lone upset in the quarterfinals was a big one: The Machine edged out LeBron James, dropping the No. 2 seed. No. 3 Karen F. Owen defied Bodog's odds and sadly took out Dude Being Blown By A Dog. Alas....

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 2 LeBron James vs. No. 7 The Machine

There's no real tale of the tape to run through in this first SHOTY quarterfinal matchup, but if there were, you couldn't help but note that The Machine (probably) has one more title than LeBron does....

latest

Your 2010 Deadspin Sports Human Of The Year Nominees Are...

A cavalcade of athletes gone astray from their moral core, rambunctiously violent media personalities, accidental female empowerers, and a mysterious man in a mask. See them all below....

by A.J. Daulerio|Shoty2010

|Mon Jun 17 2013

Is This The Machine Or An Imposter On The Tonight Show?

Click to view Brian Wilson took his routine to The Tonight Show last night and—among other things—introduced The Machine to the Jaywalking-loving audience (around the 3:30 mark). Either Pat Burrell gained weight, or we have a whole new mystery on our hands....

by David Matthews|The Machine

|Mon Jun 17 2013

For Those Of You Who Still Don't Think Pat Burrell Is The Gimp-Costumed "Machine"

Here's more proof: The Fightins got their hands on an old photo of Pat The Bat dressed in the gimp outfit seen in Brian Wilson's odd video. The story behind Burrell's get-up is predictably strange. Go read it. [The Fightins]...

by A.J. Daulerio|Investigations

|Mon Jun 17 2013

Is Brian Wilson Into Fetish Porn Or Something? A Video Investigation

In TV interview after TV interview, Giants closer Brian Wilson makes ominous reference to a masked friend called "The Machine." Who or what is The Machine? We investigate in the video below....

by David Matthews|Inquiries

|Mon Jun 17 2013

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>The Machine</em>

Today, we have a selection from Deadspin favorite Joe Posnanski's The Machine, a rollicking account of the 1975 Reds. Buy the book here. Read his blog here. Joe's in the comments now, awaiting your demeaning questions....

by Tommy Craggs|Book Excerpts

|Mon Jun 17 2013

Machine Like Slamma Jamma Bing Bong

by Dashiell Bennett|Whimsy

|Mon Jun 17 2013

home › tag › the-machine