ant Page 782 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB Reminds You That It Owns The Rights To Richie Sexson's Batting Average
Now that Bud Selig has this steroids problem completely under control, he's turning his lawyers loose on the real enemy: Unlicensed fantasy baseball leagues. We eagerly await the first major enforcement incident. We see police shouting instructions into a house through a bullhorn, followed by a paun...
If Kobe Can't Trust His Bodyguard, Whom Can He Trust?
We don't know why more athlete/celebrity bodyguards don't write tell-alls. (It's entirely possible they don't know how to write.) It seems like they'd have all the best stories, going to the places no one else is allowed to touch....
NBA Finals Blogdome: Spurs Win The Title
Views of the Spurs' title from around the Internets ......
Your Gripping NBA Champions
It is probably not a good sign that the morning after we crown a new NBA champion — and we do congratulate the Spurs, sure — more people are emailing us about a guy who hasn't been in the NBA for 11 years than they are about the game. (To be fair, the story did involve masturbation.) When's the draf...
Our Long National Nightmare Could End Tonight
We're not sure what the official name is for what we'll be doing to the Spurs when if they win the NBA Championship tonight. Will we coronate them? Dub them a dynasty? Crown their asses?...
Baseball Fans Search For Loopholes On Billy Donovan Night
We are not here to mock you, Billy Donovan. Yes, you backed out of your $27.5 million deal to coach the Orlando Magic; but we feel your pain. Steve Spurrier feels your pain. Homer and Ned feel your pain. And the Fort Myers Miracle minor league baseball team, they ... well, OK, they're here to mock y...
Trying To Salvage What's Left Of The NBA Season
As we sift through the carnage of a mostly D.O.A. NBA Finals, we wonder: Can anything save it at this point? The popular theory is that Cavs coach Mike Brown is destroying any slim hope his team has — maybe he should play Eric Snow more — and, in addition, he's making the games excruciating to watch...
The Witnesses May Step Down
This picture kind of sums up why the NBA Finals, after the brief hope of LeBron's ascension, has become a must-miss: People flailing around, grabbing each other, and the Spurs efficiently cruising along. Last night was closer, we suppose, but we just can't fire ourselves up that much for an NBA Fina...
Will The Cavs Make This Even Slightly Interesting?
The ratings are down, the excitement level is low, and the day after Game Two, every sports site from ESPN to us was talking more about "The Sopranos" than yet another Spurs dismantling. And you think there were yawns yesterday? If the Spurs win tonight, bringing this to 3-0, people will be leading ...
Jeff Reed Is The Most Fun Kicker Of All Time
You might remember our little Christmas Eve present for you last year: Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed taking a picture of him nearly nude in the mirror....
NBA Finals Blogdome: Spurs Vs. Cavs, Game 2
Views Of The NBA Finals, Game 2, From Around The Internets ......
We Congratulate The Spurs On Their Fourth Title
Well, it's certainly starting to look like we're all witnesses to Tim Duncan methodically steamrolling to his fourth NBA title. (That would tie him with Shaq, by the way.) What was most distressing about the Spurs' 103-92 Game 2 win over the Cavaliers last night was that it was over so early; the ou...
Playoff Blogdome: Spurs-Cavs, Game 1
A roundup of reactions to Game One of the NBA Finals, from around this here Internets ......
Somebody Wake Up The Cavs
One of the fun aspects of any championship, whether it's the World Series or the Super Bowl or whatever, is that the casual fan who hasn't followed a particular team all season is introduced to a team the devotees have been analyzing all along. The diehard fan is fully aware of his team's flaws and ...
LeBron's Biggest Stage Of All
The real question now, of course, is: Can LeBron James pull this off? Most don't think so, and for crying out loud, even God's on the Spurs side. It could be grim....
Don't Give Up Hope On Barry Bonds Yet
As we wonder how the heck Barry Bonds can be out with shin splints when he never actually runs, we point out that, because of his injury and his recent slump, it is no longer an absolute certainty that he's going to break Hank Aaron's record....
Free Darko NBA Finals Pants Party: San Antonio Spurs
Because we feel that no one understands the NBA more like the way we wish we understood the NBA than the gang at Free Darko, we've asked them to write up previews of every playoff series throughout the postseason. You've seen all these by now: It will help us understand what's at stake in each serie...
Do Not Taunt Julian Tavarez
Of all the athletes you'd want to make fun of while he's holding a baseball, Julian Tavarez seems like a particularly dangerous choice....
Kevin Durant Is Low On The Upper Body Strength
Among those who care more about silly workout statistics and the notion of watching young men in their underwear run, jump and lift things than simply watching how preternaturally blessed athletes dominate their sports, there was considerable concern this week about Kevin Durant's relatively weak sh...
Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...