ants Page 158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giants Fan Braves Unbelievable Hardship For Patriots 19-0 Shirt
Not unlike the travels of Che Guevara, Aaron Kaplowitz's heroic quest for Patriots' 19-0 memorabilia in Central America is a tale fraught with danger and high adventure. And did I mention cockfighting? On hearing that a remote Nicaraguan village was the destination for Patriots World Champions gear ...
NL West: Worst. Division. Ever?
Like Charlie Weiss Weis passing a full length mirror, it's something I've always refused to look at; until now. The San Francisco Chronicle's John Shea has provided an intervention, making me face the stark reality: As of today, the 2008 NL West is the worst division in baseball history. Yes, worse ...
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Manning "Reception" Is Everything You'd Imagine It Would Be
Sadly, there are no Village People moments like Brady Quinn had at his sister's wedding to A.J. Hawk, but if you do scroll through the lovely photo album, there are plenty of Manning-like moments that will clearly be cherished always. The New York Giants' quarterback appears to be coming out of his ...
Introducing The Loneliest Boy In The World
Poor Brandon. Back in April of last year, the Barry Zito Fathead seemed like a very cool thing to have. But 170 innings and 24 losses later, this young man is not only reevaluating his choice of room decor, but also his very existence on this earth. Young Brandon is now a virtual shutin; ostracized ...
Aaron Rowand Is The Illusionist
Well, the All-Star rosters are complete, except for one spot on each team. Internet voting to determine those last two spots ends on Thursday at 2 p.m. PST, and Aaron Rowand of the San Francisco Giants would like your vote. Following the jump you will find his campaign video. The action is from Frid...
Warriors To Be Decidedly Less Whiskery In 2009
OK, it's not a lock that Baron Davis is leaving the Warriors. But by opting out of the final year of his contract — leaving $17.8 million on the table in the process — it's pretty clear that there was more to that dustup with Don Nelson in the Phoenix game than we were told. But while that may be tr...
ESPN Still Desperately Wants To Be Cool Again
A couple of years ago, some of ESPN's on-air talent was being lured away by another competing cable network that promised them a Daily Show-style vehicle, centered around sports instead of politics. Some were very interested — and some were very disappointed when the deal never went through, especia...
Eli Manning And Wife In Desperate Need Of A Queer-Eyeing
The evolution of Eli Manning from underachieving dim-expressioned yokel to high society Super Bowl hero has hit a rough patch, as the fashionistas of the New York Post have lashed out at Eli and his new bride, Abby McGrew, for their questionable fashion sense during the recent snob-infested Contem...
Hang Onto The Ball, Or Pants?
If you're trying for a foul ball at a game, it's best to make certain that your pants will stay in the proper "wrapped around your waist" position for which they were initially intended. Imagine if this would have happened to poor Steve Bartman....
Thieves Boost Giants Super Bowl Rings
If you see a decidedly un-athletic-looking character parading around town with a Giants Super Bowl ring — and it's not Eli Manning — then please call your local authorities immediately. It's probably hot; part of the haul from big Attleboro jewelry heist this past weekend....
Goodbye To The Gap-Toothed Wonder
We don't know about you, but we'll kind of miss Michael Strahan, who retired from the NFL today, probably because he thinks coming off a title might make him John Elway. (It won't.)...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......
About Last Night
What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ... • MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3. • NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course. • Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Ariz...
There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...
About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...
Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...
Breaking: Pirates Bobblehead May Be Giving Us The Finger
The Pirates and Mets were rained out on Monday, giving Pittsburgh fans a little extra time to pull their Tom Gorzelanny bobblehead dolls out of their boxes and examine them closely for the first time. Fans received the bobble on Saturday as the Pirates took on the Phillies at PNC Park. Examining the...
Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...
Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....