appic Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Urban Meyer Has A Bit Of A Problem On His Hands
Florida Gator lineman Carlos Dunlap, the defensive MVP of last year's national championship game, was arrested this morning after being found asleep in his car....at a green light. Shockingly, he did "poorly" on his sobriety test and went to jail....
Last Night's Winner: Louisiana Building Contractors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New Orleans Saints, who smashed through the New England Patriots like they were an un-reinforced levee....
In Amazing Coincidence, Two Michigan State Players Kicked Off Team
Junior Roderick Jenrette and sophomore Glenn Winston were dismissed from Michigan State's football team two days after unidentified football players were accused of beating up frat boys in a residence hall. Gee, you think it might be the same guys?...
Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...
Last Night's Winner: Guys Who Like Playing Time
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the six Golden State Warriors, who beat Dallas with no help from their teammates or head coach. Sort of like a regular Warriors game....
Yale Football Coach Out-Crazies Bill Belichick
Since our nation wasted approximately 82 million man-hours of productivity last week arguing about that stupid fourth-and-two, it's a bit surprising that we the people aren't more enraged by Yale's Tom Williams for raising the stakes for bonehead coaches everywhere....
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...
Last Night's Winner: Josh Pastner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Memphis coach Josh Pastner, who didn't even win! Don't think that won't stop him from becoming college basketball's new golden boy....
Browns Fans Know Understatement
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Michelle Wie's Life Is No Longer Worthless
It's about freakin' time that 20-year-old Michelle Wie won a real golf tournament, a two-stroke win in the Lorena Ochoa Invitational. Now maybe she'll give up this silly dream and finally enroll in dental school. [Honolulu Advertiser]...
No, Vancouver Is The Other Way!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Hey, Look At That! It's College Basketball Season!
Funny how it sneaks up on you, huh? The regular season begins in fitting fashion tonight as the defending champs take on Isiah Thomas in a game he didn't want to coach and no one else wants to watch. Beautiful....
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....
You Really Don't Want To See This
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Joe Girardi Helps Car Crash Victim On Way From Game 6
Driving home from Yankee Stadium last night, drunk with power (and champagne!), Girardi stopped to help an accident victim, even though each World Series winner is specifically granted the right to run over one pedestrian, no questions asked. [LoHud/Slanch]...
Terrible Golfer Banned For Using Drugs To Enhance His Terrible Performance
Doug Barron, a 40-year-old veteran with zero PGA Tour wins, is the first golfer to be suspended under the tour's anti-doping policy. Now he will no longer terrorize the professional ranks with his massive 270-yard drives....
Stay Away From Manu Ginobili's Fangs For Awhile
The Spurs guard had to get rabies shots after taking down a vicious bat with his bare hands. So if you see him foaming at the mouth, he's definitely not infected with a horrible disease! [SA Express-News]...
Return Of The "Rock N' Roll" Tongue Bath
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Another Rough Night For The Umpires
The World Series umpires managed to botch two double play calls in back-to-back innings last night leaving fans to once again wonder if a trained beagle couldn't do a better job refereeing playoff baseball games....
Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....