are Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hull City's Shocking Upset Knocks Arsenal Off the Top of the Table
Absolutely nobody could have possibly seen this result coming. The Tigers of Hull City are officially the biggest surprise of the new Premier League season, especially after their eye-opening 2-1 victory over Arsenal, at Emirates Stadium no less. The Gunners took a 1-0 lead shortly after the half o...
It's Melanie Hain's Turn To Bring The Team Snacks When She Says It Is
"I know what you're thinking; "Did she give me six orange wedges, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. So you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" A Lebanon, Pa. woman had her concealed-weapons permit revo...
A Former Yankee Hero Suffers Existential Crisis at His Waterlogged House in Texas During Emotional Stadium Ceremony
Roger Clemens lets out a heavy sigh and struggles to keep the tears from glistening on his face . He sits in his spacious home in a hurricane-ravaged area of Texas, watching the final game at Yankee Stadium, hoping his years of pin-striped service are recognized. But what of the other sinners? Knobl...
He's Just Your Average Octogenarian Bodybuilder Who Will Not Die
Hmm. Yes, I guess this could technically be categorized as "Nightmare Fuel" but at the same time, there is something comforting in the fact that 80-year-old bodybuilders like Ray Moon do exist. Actually, not all. These men should only exist in the darkest corners of a mescaline-ravaged mind or a Gui...
Gilbert Arenas Had Knee Surgery (No, You Are Not Experiencing Deja Vu)
Let's play a little game called "What would I do?" First, imagine that you're Washington Wizards owner Abe Pollin. Now assume that you had just given a six-year, $111 million contract — guaranteed money, by the way — to an athlete coming off of two knee surgeries only to find out that he now requir...
No Child Left Behind On The Stationary Bike
The great thing about growing old in the 21st century; no worries about ordering children to get off your lawn. That's because no self-respecting kid these days would be caught dead playing outside; it's too cold/humid, there's smog, Michael Jackson is roaming free, and as we know, the outdoors are ...
Charlie Weis Tears Two Ligaments in Knee While Simply Standing Around
Charlie Weis got Theismen'd yesterday during the Notre Dame v. Michigan game. Did the fact that he was standing on the sidelines and not actually on the field make the rotund coach feel any more embarrassed? Heck no! After the game, Weis found out he tore two ligaments in his knee and he seemed rath...
Cal's Jahvid Best Loses His Lunch
The early games have been rather boring this afternoon but California's Jahvid Best is having considerably less fun than you are today. As Jamie Mottram put it, "Maryland is beating the puke out of Cal." Literally....
Who Are Hugh?
I'm relatively new to the Hugh. I'm meeting Mr. Johnson for the first time today and hoping he'll be gentle. Clearly, Cal has not recovered from the loss of DeSean "Obama" Jackson and finds themselves trailing Maryland early. In the annual battle of teams that traditionally suck the most, Temple and...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...
Twelve-Year-Old Girl Kicked Off Boys' Basketball Team For Being Too Good
Oh man, those boys on that basketball team are done. Jaime Nared is a 12-year-old, 6-foot, 1-inch basketball player from outside Portland, OR. She's just finished sixth grade and she's now playing with a girls high school traveling team because she's too good to play with girls her own age. Perhaps ...
Reebok Benches Ocho Cinco
Those of you who watched the Bengals game today and were expecting Chad OchoCinco got Chad Johnson instead. At the last minute, Chad was forced to wear a "C. Johnson" nameplate on his jersey. Apparently, while the NFL has decided not to get in his way, Reebok wants their money. ...
Idaho Vandals Prefer Their Asses Logo Free
One week after debuting their new uniforms, the Idaho Vandals football team is changing their pants. It seems the logo, which was placed in an unfortunate position on the uniform, was a little embarassing. Athletic Director Rob Spear has ordered the logos removed. ...
Through The Looking Glass With Nine-Year-Old Jericho Scott
The parents of Jericho Scott, the nine-year-old New Haven, Conn. pitcher who was banned from pitching because he is too good, are officially suing the youth league that is disbanding his team. In response, the league held a press conference to tell their side of the story, and a huge mob of reporter...
Common Sense Strikes Out: The Curious Case Of Jericho Scott
Nine-year-old Jericho Scott has been banned from pitching in a New Haven, Conn., youth baseball league because he throws so hard that he frightens the other players, according to league officials. But he took to the mound on Saturday anyway, so the other team simply dropped their bats and left the f...
To Watch Tonight: The Winner Takes It All
What to watch to overcome your disappointment in the Golf Digest submission standards... • NFL Preseason Football: Steelers vs. Vikings (8 pm ET) - The Vikings' mastery of steel is well-documented. The Steelers' mastery of vike, on the other hand, has less supporting evidence. [CBS] • NASCAR: Sharpi...
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Nightmare Ant
How did I know that Nightmare Ant — the creation of the great, great, J.E. Skeets — had gone "viral," as they say? When some jokester tagged my book "Bow Down Before Nightmare Ant." It made me laugh far more than another damned emo bangs comment. The true genius of Skeets' original post was its sim...
No, Dog Is Not Cool
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Maddenpalooza: Stunted Paloozaness, Lots Of Badges, And Warren Sapp Is Insane
This year is the 20th anniversary of John Madden football and to commemorate this historic occasion, the folks at EA Sports held a "MaddenPalooza" event in Los Angeles. Deadspin dispatched Michael Tunison to cover some of the sights, sounds, and overall geekiness. This is his second dispatch from th...
State Supreme Court Justice Shows Bad Form
A New Jersey State Supreme Court Justice is being sued for allegedly using his title to intimidate school officials following a dispute between his son and one of his former high school football teammates at Haddonfield Memorial High School . The suit, filed by Conor Larkin, claims that Justice Rob...