are Page 166 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
War Emblem Isn't Interested In Breeding; Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
You've probably seen this by now, but, alas, it's still great. War Emblem is tired of the dating scene. Take this farm, for instance; everyone here is such a phony. He'd rather stay in his stall and curl up with a nice Dee Mirich poem, if you want to know the truth. The race horse, who won the Kentu...
Message To This Kid's Future Defense Attorney: Blame Name or Haircut
This unfortunate youngster, other than being forced by parental duress to sport the bowl cut, was born unto a couple of deranged Spurs fans. How unhinged, exactly? Instead of buying a team photo or something to encapsulate their love for the team, they decided to put the whole roster into their kid'...
1st Round, Fifteenth Overall: Chiefs Select Branden Albert
Oh God. The Lions made a trade. Carl Peterson dangled a shiny object in front of Matt Millen, and now we all have to adjust. This Brandon Albert blog entry will be written in four styles: dense football scouting jargon, lyrically idiotic Jamie Dukes banter, Thomas the Tank Engine narration, and fin...
Minor League Goalie Peppered With Pucks, Surrenders
Announcement: Michael Leighton is not in the mood to take out the freaking trash tonight — or for any other goddamned requests — after making 98 saves in an American Hockey League game ... and losing. Shit! Leighton and the Albany River Rats lost in the longest game in AHL history on Thursday, when ...
Flee To The Cleve Tonight, Everybody
The playoffs tip back off tonight, and after a weekend that brought us an amazing Suns-Spurs game and that fun 76ers upset — which we have a feeling will be like a lower-grade version of that Sixers-Lakers Finals: One inspiring win followed by a sweep — we are treated to two doozies tonight....
Hurry, Before Alex Rodriguez Steals This Job
On Friday, Gawker received an email from the editor of femalemuscle.com, who is on the look out for a full-time blogger to take make "femalemuscle.com into the Gawker of her genre." Well, knowing that there are a few of you out there who are sports blog hobbyists looking to go pro, it only seemed na...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while making your girlfriend more realistic... • 6:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: 76ers at Pistons, Game 1. 8:30 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Hawks at Celtics, Game 1. Known to the highbrow basketball fans as the weekend's denouement. [TNT] • 8:00 p.m. — MLB: Mets at Phillies. Everything New York wan...
LeBron Overrated, Rated Over Gilbert Arenas
So the verbal barbs were barbered between Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to christen the Wizards-Cavaliers series, although the counterbarbs by Cleveland were done not in words, but in second-half points. So Cleveland begins with the series lead after with a 93-86 victory in Game 1 of the NBA playo...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while using science to control the female mind, then going home and heating up a TV dinner... • 7:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Dallas Mavericks at New Orleans Hornets, Game 1. There's a new rule in New Orleans. No billionaires are allowed to enter the locker room. They claim it's not an edi...
Free Darko On Cleveland-Washington
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Ric Bucher Gets No Big Love From Angry Jazz Fans
ESPN's NBA sideline yapper Ric Bucher will most likely not be invited to any Church of Latter Day Saints picnics anytime soon. During an ESPN radio interview with Colin Cowherd, Bucher suggested that the reason Utah was one of the the toughest places to play was because their fans are so pent-up and...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
We Won't Even Talk About The Pirate Ship On His Ass
All we really know about Mr. John Herold here is that he was arrested for trespassing on Feb. 1, 2008, somewhere in Florida. Now, seeing that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season ended on Jan. 6, we have to assume that those are permanent tattoos, right? Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Su...
Kentucky Boasts Top Eater, Fulmer Fumes
It's been a disappointing year for Kentucky fans, but now they can cheer on the top-ranked collegiate eater in the country....
Under The Brazilian Rainbow
Via Sports By Brooks comes this seemingly tall tale about these terrifying little fellers , who are supposedly part of Brazil's all dwarf soccer team, the "Gigantes do Norte."Even though this squad is not even close to being gigante in physical size, they are so in spirit, apparently....
Jason Smith Might Be A Little Itchy
According to ex-adult entertainer Mary Carey, Sixers rookie big man Jason Smith was the victim of her spider-monkey-esque make-out session on Monday night. Smith, the Sixers 20th pick in the 2007 draft, has provided playoff-bound Sixers some additional big-man depth off the bench this season but, ac...
Welcome Back Everybody!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who secretly wishes that the NBA regular season was even longer. When he's not formally requesting that David Stern institute a 300-game season, you can find him engaged in thrilling intellectual debates regarding fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Agent Ze...
The Sixers Are Good Now, So Mary Carey Shall Climb Them
How about those Sixers? it was only a few short months ago that the team was in a completely understandable death spiral, thought to be rebuilding, being encouraged to dump its expensive players to stock up for the future. And now? Well, the Sixers are on the cusp of miraculously making the playoffs...
Earth Hour? How's About Earth 20 Minutes? Preferably During Halftime
As Awful Announcing points out, at 8 p.m. this evening the fine leafy folks at the World Wildlife Fund are asking everyone to turn off nonessential lights (does a strobe light count?) to call attention to climate change. Of course, they couldn't've asked us to do that in, say, mid-February when the...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......