are Page 169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...
Who's Sorry Now? Herm Edwards Edition
Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards, we salute you. Not only did you basically tell your fans to go #### themselves after they complained about the Chiefs' losing record, but then you were forced to sloppily apologize; essentially humbling yourself before fat guys who wear bags over their hea...
He's Baaaaaaaaaaack!
If it were up to me I would not be reposting this. I find 'Nightmare Ant' creepy, intimidating and more than a little demonic. But the truth is, I have very little control over this site anymore. Neither does Will. Yeah, it's 'Nightmare Ant' calling the shots now. And if 'Nightmare Ant' wants his ph...
Meet Your New American Gladiators
What better way to start burying our infamous 'Nightmare Ant' overlord than with another entry into the timeless "nightmare fuel" tag? Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you ... one of you newest American Gladiators ... HELLGA!...
Swim, You Brave, Magnificent Bastards! Swim!
OK, I can hear you complaining already. But the fact remains that I have lived most of my adult life by one simple rule: Anytime a game fish reenacts a scene from one of my favorite movies, it gets its own post. The movie is Shawshank Redemption, and this is one of those times....
SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas
At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight....
Dennis Green Mocks Himself For Cash
Say what you will about former Buzzsaw "coach" Dennis Green, but you can't say he's not entrepreneurial. He has moved to copyright the phrase "They Are Who We Thought They Were."...
EVERY GAME I RECAP IS IMPORTANT!
The NBA Closer is now written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, FALL BACK, BLOGGER! FALL. BACK. IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT A RESPECTED JOURNALIST, SUCH AS MYSELF, DO THIS POST SOME GOOD! SO W...
The Winter Olympic Mascots Are ... Yeaagh! What The Hell? ...
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is th...
Canadian PSAs Are Clearly Not Messing Around
The above public service announcement has been running during Hockey Night In Canada on CBC up north. It is definitive proof that Canadians are terrifying. Heavens to Betsy!...
Eat Ice, Evil Doers!
In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...
Even Jets Fans Are Asking Her Not To Take It Off
Of all the European soccer promotions ever seen, this is by far the most interesting. By which I mean, you may have my eyes now. I have a donor card, so please make sure they go to a worthy recipient, like an NBA ref....
SHOTY First Round: Gilbert Arenas Vs. Steely McBeam
It's SHOTY frenzy this week; two in two days. You now can spend your Thanksgiving playing around with online polls. Fun!...
About Last Night
What you missed while bidding a sad farewell to Mr. Whipple ... • College basketball: Please don't squeeze the Chaminade. • NFL: So, the Broncos and Chargers are both in first place? What? Denver 34, Tennessee 20. • The New York Rangers really, really hate Rick DiPietro....
The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....
This Is Pretty Much Why God Invented Sports Bars, We Reckon
We don't know what hell like, or who exactly is there (aside from all the sports agents). But here's a pretty good guess: There's nonstop karaoke, the only beverage is Tabasco sauce and at the top of the hour everyone gets hit in the face with a custard pie. That sounds about right. But at a sports ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after rooting for the Puck Ewes ... • College football: Toledo at Ball State. Showdown at Scheumann Stadium. [ESPN2] • College basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Syracuse, N.Y.; NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Columbus, Ohio. College basketball is officially here...