art Page 319 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John L. Smith Knows What You're Thinking
And he's acting accordingly:...
Pucker, Pucker, Pucker
When I first downloaded this clip and started to listen to it, I saw that it was over 15 minutes long, and I thought, "Eh, it's probably not worth it." And for a couple of minutes, it wasn't. And then this guy Michigan State radio guy begins the slow rapid descent into madness....
"You Jackin' It?"
Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him....
No Pedro In October? That Just Seems Wrong
As we deal with our own baseball-related panic — which we'll obviously be getting into later — we turn to Queens, where Mets fans, enjoying their best season in nearly 20 years, have lost their ace for the entire playoffs. Whether Pedro Martinez comes up with a tiny former Brando co-star or not, w...
![Hey, Did Somebody [Cramp] In Here?](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f47w4gdsv3vjpg.jpg)
Hey, Did Somebody [Cramp] In Here?
Just to make sure we remain the gutter-obsessed sewer rats we are, it's time for some fart humor....
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Ron Artest Gets His Illini On, Tru Warrior Warier Style
So here's something that took us back a bit: Sacramento Kings guard/forward/madman Ron Artest is apparently on tour right now to support his modestly titled album "My World" — TRU WARIER! — and he's clearly playing the most amped up, crazy venues....
Return To Irreverence!
We knew the Oakland Raiders were going to be a source of consistent amusement throughout this season, through ineptitude, disorganization or simple befuddlement, but we didn't quite expect it to happen so soon....
Now That's A Serious Looking Contract
We don't mean to imply that there's a possibly new New York Islanders general manager Garth Snow — shown here on a "scouting trip" — might not necessarily be ready for life in a board room, considering just last year he was the team's backup goalie....
Party Crash: Our Birthday Bash
As you might have noticed — mainly because we kind of haven't shut up about it, much to our own detriment — our beloved little site turned one year old yesterday. When we personally turned one year old in 1976, we celebrated by drinking in extreme excess, so we thought we'd do the same thing last ni...
Waiting Patiently For Art Modell To Die
I know this is perverse, but I can't quite decide just how perverse. Actually, I probably know, but choose not to acknowledge it, because I also find it amusing....
Cameron Family Just Pleased As Punch With Matt Leinart Right Now
So, it's no longer just small local papers reporting that Matt Leinart's sperm have been even busier than usual lately. It has now been confirmed, by none other than People magazine, and if you can't trust them, you can't trust anyone....
Matt Leinart Has Himself Some Swimmers
This is Matt Leinart. He is a rookie quarterback for The Buzzsaw That Is Arizona Cardinals, though he is perhaps better known for his career at the University of Southern California, where he won a Heisman trophy and 1.5 national championships....
Tiger Wins In An Un-Tigerly Fashion
The man wins even when he isn't trying to win. Tiger was shaky down the stretch (!), holding a three-stroke lead with six holes to play, and ending up in a playoff with Stewart Cink. Four holes later, Tiger Woods was the WGC-Bridgestone champion....
People Actually Lamer Than Stuart Scott Rip On Stuart Scott
The toolsheds pictured here are members of a "band" called Something To Ponder, and they, uh, do some sort of funk rap folk music, the type of thing that we listen to and ponder, oh, the end of civilization. But that could just be us....
Ron Artest Talks With Kids: Can World Peace Be Far Behind?
From the looks of things, it's only a matter of time before Ron Artest is asked to appear on Sesame Street. We're a wee bit late on this, but fortunately TrueHoop was paying close attention to Artest's first day of mandatory community service yesterday, which was part of his punishment for the 2004 ...
Greg Maddux, Wise Man In The Clubhouse
Earlier, we talked about new Dodgers pitcher Greg Maddux's pretty debut for Los Angeles, tossing a no-hitter for six innings and generally showing why it's always a pleasure to have a Greg Maddux on your team....
Some Folks Are Still A Little Mad About That Scab Business
So, Cory Lidle has left the Phillies and is heading to the Yankees. In an interview, he said he was excited about pitching in the Bronx because "over the last few years I haven't had a clubhouse that expected to win with me." This got back to Phillies reliever Arthur Rhodes, who was less than please...
Who Knew Strange Things Happened In Long Island?
OK, probably time to get into this New York Islanders mess. As you surely have read by now, the Islanders fired general manager Neil Smith and hired current backup goalie Garth Snow to take his spot. The move seems curious from all directions; even Snow seems to be receiving a demotion, since he h...
Some Things, Ron Artest Shouldn't Joke About
Temporarily sane Sacramento forward Ron Artest gave an interview to the Sacramento Bee over the weekend that covered his future with the team, his dogs and Donald Trump. But the most frightening section came from when Artest was asked about whether or not Bonzi Wells will return to the team next y...