as Page 1056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympic Champion Aliya Mustafina Returns To Competition 10 Months After Giving Birth
Two weeks ago, we saw the first glimpses of Simone Biles’s comeback after a full year off and it was impressive. In practice footage, Biles showed that she could still do most of her big skills despite the break from full-time training. ...
High School Baseball Coach Swears He Was Powerless To Prevent His Team From Winning 82-0
This Massachusetts high school baseball game happened last week, but the central story—trying really hard to let someone else have what should be best for them, only to watch them fuck it all up—is timeless. Old Rochester defeated Notre Dame Cristo Rey by a score of a 82-0 (eighty-two! a baseball ga...
Rafa Is About To Do This All Over Again, Isn't He?
Enter Dominic Thiem, the dull boy who is good on dirt. For all his fits elsewhere, the Austrian has mastered clay, a surface that slows things down enough for his deep court positioning, thumping strokes, and one-track mind. He’s the only player who can justifiably hold any ember of hope when facing...
College <i>Jeopardy!</i> Contestants Have Totally Played Basketball Before<em></em>
Unlike the introductions for the adult Jeopardy! contestants, who stand there with a slight smile indicating either smugness or paralyzing terror and no emotion in between, the college kids are allowed to “have fun with it.” Last night’s trio put together a little routine involving an invisible bask...
Hassan Whiteside Needs To Get His Shit Together
Miami Heat center Hassan Whiteside entered the NBA playoffs grumbling about his diminished role on the team, and the proceeded to give his squad absolutely nothing of value while playing limited minutes in the first two games of their series against the Sixers. But last night offered a chance for re...
Tuukka Rask Ruined The Maple Leafs' Best And Maybe Last Chance
This was the Maple Leafs’ chance, and it was probably their season....
Matt Harvey, Who Increasingly Does Not Appear To Be A Starting Pitcher: "I'm A Starting Pitcher"
Matt Harvey went six innings tonight for the first time since last May; ideally, that should be reason for optimism, or, at least, it could be, if you had space to process anything beyond the rather depressing fact that this marker can be considered a real breakthrough in the first place. But six in...
Is Joel Embiid's Mask More Superhero Or Supervillain?
After missing a few weeks with a concussion and an orbital fracture, Joel Embiid is finally back on the floor for tonight’s Game 3 against the Heat—with a pretty sick mask, goggles included. Constructing the thing was apparently quite the project......
Mariners Turn Triple Play After Evan Gattis Forgets How Many Outs There Are
The Mariners fortuitously escaped a jam in the fourth inning against the Astros today when Houston’s Evan Gattis made a Little League-level mistake and forgot how many outs there were, gifting Seattle a triple play....
It's Impossible To Take A Bad Photo At The Monte Carlo Masters<em></em>
Novak Djokovic lost today to Dominic Thiem. It went three sets. Nice match. Wouldn’t have been able to pay much attention had I watched it from the stands. The Monte Carlo Masters is the prettiest sporting event on Earth: rich clay, clean skies, jewel seas. Take in this visual feast prepared by Gett...
MMA Announcer Fucks Up Fight Decision Not Once, But Twice In The Span Of 15 Seconds<em></em>
David Booker won a decision against Elijah Terrell last night at regional MMA event Alaska Fighting Championship 139, which was good news for him. The bad news was that he only learned that he’d won after riding a true emotional roller coaster. The announcer at last night’s fights pulled a rare doub...
Horrendously Sucky Reds Fire Bryan Price After 3-15 Start
The Cincinnati Reds and Kansas City Royals have each won three games this season. Royals manager Ned Yost earned some slack since he’s three years removed from winning the World Series. Reds manager Bryan Price ... said the word “fuck” 77 times after losing a game in 2015. The team fired him today....
Let's Remember Some Guys: 1987 Baseball Guys
When we introduced a gum component last week on Let’s Remember Some Guys, the payoff was kind of weak. David Roth remembered all but one guy, so he only had to pop in one piece of thick, stale gum. In this week’s episode, however, he experiences several lapses in memory and consumes approximately tw...
<i>White Men Can't Jump</i> Is A Lot Of Fun Masking What Appears To Be A Pretty Debilitating Gambling Addiction
If there’s a moral to be gleaned from White Men Can’t Jump, it’s that that if someone carrying many hundreds of dollars in cash—without a wallet in sight—challenges you to an expensive bet, it’s probably because they know something you don’t. I realize people relied on paper money more back in the ’...
Arike Ogunbowale's Appearance On <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Will Be A "Personal Growth Experience" To Fit Dumb NCAA Rules<em></em>
College basketball legend and Notre Dame rising senior Arike Ogunbowale is set to appear on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars beginning in just under two weeks. But because Ogunbowale still plays for Notre Dame and is thus considered an NCAA athlete even on summer break, there are at lea...
Someone Else On The Cavaliers Needs To Score, Too
If you caught LeBron James in just the right light during that first quarter, you could have seen the steam wisping off his damn bald spot. Playoff LeBron is here but probably much, much earlier than he’d intended on arriving, and as cranky as those circumstances would suggest....
Even A Hobbled Donovan Mitchell Won't Go Down Easily
After bruising his foot in Game 1, Jazz guard Donovan Mitchell insisted that he’d suit up for Game 2, despite having to play through a personally unprecedented amount of pain to do so. He didn’t seem very limited in his second-ever playoff game when he got a steal and scored on the first possession ...
Gregg Popovich Won't Coach Spurs In Game 3 Following Death Of His Wife
The San Antonio Spurs have announced that head coach Gregg Popovich will not be with the team for tonight’s playoff game against the Warriors. Last night, the team announced that Popovich’s wife, Erin, had died at the age of 67 after battling an illness....
Seriously, What The Hell Are The Minnesota Timberwolves Doing?
In Game 1 of the Rockets-Timberwolves series, the eighth-seeded Wolves lost in no small part because they inexplicably froze their two best players, Jimmy Butler and Karl-Anthony Towns, out of the offense. Game 2 was last night, and the Rockets won, 102-82. Here are some stats from that, courtesy of...
The Wizards Of Aughts: The Post-Millennium Washington Wizards And The Bloggers Who Immortalized Them
The late-model Washington Wizards are broadly competent, secretly mediocre, spotty, and more boring than they are not. They could be nutshelled as an equal and opposite reaction to their counterparts of a decade ago. Those Wiz teams, which weren’t better but sure were stranger, boasted a bigger coll...