as Page 1083 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Frail Celtics Still Took Down The Sixers
The Celtics are one more decently bad injury away from barely being able to field a full NBA-caliber rotation, but that didn’t stop the guys they have left from carrying their team to a 114-112 Game 5 win over the 76ers, clinching Boston’s spot in the Eastern Conference Finals....

Report: Lions Coach Matt Patricia Was Indicted For Sexual Assault In 1996
Newly hired Detroit Lions head coach and former New England Patriots assistant Matt Patricia was indicted by a grand jury on one count of aggravated sexual assault in 1996, according to a report from the Detroit News. Patricia, who was 21 at the time, was charged alongside a teammate of his on Renss...

Future Of Basketball Luka Dončić<em></em> Gets A Rare Triple-Double In Spain
Possible first-overall draft pick Luka Dončić, who’s been playing in Spain with Real Madrid since he was 16, is already the kind of all-around athletic beast who appears to be the final form that every basketball player is evolving towards. He’s a six-foot-eight guard/forward hybrid who’s comfortabl...

Indians Pitchers Ponder The Existence Of Multiple Earths
Carlos Carrasco carried the Cleveland Indians to a 6-2 win over the Brewers this afternoon. But all the fun for the AL Central division leaders didn’t seem to come until after the game, as shown by a Twitter poll put out into the world by Cleveland pitcher Brady Aiken....

The Warriors Are Infuriatingly Too Pretty To Hate
The Pelicans had earned a fleeting lead towards the end of Game 5's second quarter last night. They’d sunk five straight shots from four different guys, with the one-browed god Anthony Davis doubling up on feral dunks. Both these teams are lean and love to run, and at this point the tempo was furiou...

Don't Cook Chicken In A Fucking Dishwasher
Earlier today, while waiting on my porch for some delivery guys to turn up, I checked in on what was happening in Deadspin’s work chat—my job requires me to surveil the staffs of the various Gizmodo Media Group sites to make sure they’re diligently working for the betterment of our corporate overlor...

Let's Remember Some Guys: Random Cards Mailed To Our Office Edition
The internet is lonesome and atomizing and weird, which is strange when you consider that Bringing People Together is the one aspect of its ostensible promise that is unquestionably a success. It’s probably not the internet’s fault that, having been brought together, everyone just immediately starte...

The Mets Didn't Bat In Order And It's A Miracle They Can Even Put On Their Uniforms Correctly
Asdrúbal Cabrera gave the Mets their first hit of the game today with a ground-rule double to shallow left field, which allowed Jay Bruce the chance to bring him home. However, as soon as Bruce stepped to the plate, he was called out, stranding Cabrera and ending the inning. It seems Mets manager M...

The Rockets Better Not Fuck This Up
The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors wrapped up their five-game eliminations of, respectively, the Utah Jazz and New Orleans Pelicans last night. Like the series they ended, neither game was particularly closely contested; both losing teams did just enough to preserve their dignity and no m...

Charles Barkley And Shaq Got Each Other Steaming Mad By Yelling About Some Stupid Shit
In the right corner: Charles Barkley, man who thinks coaches need to have great relationships with their best players in order to win. In the left: Shaq, who would like to use his history being a toxic shitheel as proof that players and coaches can win while hating each other. What follows is a fail...

Ichiro: “Who The Fuck Is Tom Brady?”
Ichiro retired (or whatever) last week. Appropriately, Peter Gammons has an Ichiro tribute (behind the paywall) at The Athletic today. It’s about how dedicated Ichiro is to the craft of baseball, and opens with an anecdote from Barry Bonds....

Aroldis Chapman Threw This Season's Fastest Pitch Right Into Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Side
Last week, Cardinals reliever Jordan Hicks threw the two fastest pitches of the season (102.0 and 101.9 mph, respectively) during the same at-bat to White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson. He didn’t get his bat on either of them but somehow managed to draw a walk. Of course Hicks couldn’t last atop the le...

The Yankees Were Obsessed With Giancarlo Stanton's Swing
The Yankees beat the Red Sox 3-2 for their 16th win in 17 games, on the back of an 11-strikeout night from Cy Young candidate Luis Severino and a go-ahead RBI single from Aaron Judge in the seventh, to move into a tie for the best record in the AL East and in all of baseball. But all any of them wan...

Chris Paul Stuck The Dagger In The Jazz
Chris Paul is advancing beyond the second round for the first time in his NBA career, and he did so by putting the Rockets on his back for their 112-102 Game 5 win against the Jazz. Paul got a new playoff high of 41 points, with 10 assists, seven boards, and no turnovers. And after Jazz rookie Donov...

Mariners Pitcher James Paxton No-Hits The Blue Jays
One start removed from a 16-strikeout show against the A’s, Mariners pitcher James Paxton caught everyone’s attention again, tossing a three-walk, six-strikeout no-hitter in a 5-0 win for Seattle against the Blue Jays....

Royals Assault Defenseless Orioles Pitcher With Barrage Of First-Inning Dongs
Orioles pitcher Dylan Bundy had a very short Tuesday night start against the Royals, but his outing was anything but merciful. Bundy marked himself with the dreaded infinity ERA by failing to record an out in the first inning as Kansas City smashed dong after dong, scoring seven runs on Bundy off ho...

MLB Dorks Refuse To Acknowledge Precious Dingers In MLB Poll Of Favorite Stats
MLB.com recently polled a bunch of MLB players—35 position players and 35 pitchers—on one of the questions that’s always on the mind of nerdy baseball writers: “When you look at your stats at the end of a given year to evaluate yourself, what number do you gravitate toward and why?” The results were...

What's Eating Rodney Hood?
In the second postseason of his career, Rodney Hood has done very little to speak of. So far the Cavs’ trade deadline pickup has coughed up 4.6 points a game on 40-percent shooting from the floor and just 13-percent shooting from the arc, making him an especially useless cog in a LeBron Plus Shooter...

Fair And Balanced Referee Knocks Over Defender, Then Goes And Trips Attacker
Apparently they don’t teach referees in Turkey how to avoid standing right in the middle of the action so as not to bowl over a guy with the ball, though it looks like they do teach them how to remedy a situation like that by sneakily taking the legs out from under a player on the other team, so it ...

This Week's All-Athlete<i> Dancing With The Stars </i>Was All Glitter And Madness
The dresses: glittery. The celebrities: moderately recognizable. The event: you definitely heard someone mention it once. Last night, and technically all of yesterday if you really think about it, was Monday, the one day of the week where a handful of dubious notables along with actual talent hired ...