as Page 1355 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Is The Best Room For Holding An Orgy?
You may have heard that Tinder is testing out a new multi-person swipe function called Tinder Social that will, presumably, allow the nation’s swingers easier access to orgy participants and orgy planning. But how will YOU prepare for this erotic, utopian future where people are fucking in groups an...
Get Better Sleep By Getting A Lot Less Of It
Bill and Melinda Gates were recently asked by Kentucky schoolchildren what superpower they wanted most. Bill said more energy; Melinda said more time. Even to the richest couple in the world, time is money....
Bad Capitals Fan Yells "You Are Faggots" And "You Suck Cock" At Penguins Fan
In between periods of Thursday’s game, a bunch of mooks in Capitals jerseys outside of the arena heckled a Penguins fan doing an on-camera interview. At least one of them yelled “You are faggots,” and “You suck cock.”...
Buster Olney Thinks Players Union Should Ignore Players, Listen To Buster Olney
By now you know that Marlins second baseman and reigning NL batting champ Dee Gordon has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for PEDs. This will cost him roughly half his 2016 salary, or around $1.65 million; it will not cost him the other half of his 2016 salary, or the remainder of the fi...
How To Avoid Getting Hacked Like Laremy Tunsil
Laremy Tunsil might have the distinction of being the only celebrity to claim “I was hacked” without lying, as our own website was quick to note. It’s the quickest, laziest, lamest excuse to toss out after, say, a direct message that wasn’t as direct as expected (see wretched Anthony’s Weiner) or a ...
How To Dump Someone Tactfully, And Make A Clean Break
Breaking up with someone is one of life’s fondest moments, up there with clasping your sticky, newborn baby to your chest and hearing the first few notes of “Sorry” ring out across the dancefloor. Just kidding, obviously: dumping a person is rotten and no fun at all, which is often why it takes so l...
Jay Beagle Got Hockey Sticks Stuck In His Helmet And Skate
Capitals center Jay Beagle found a way to get a hockey stick stuck in his equipment on two separate occasions in Thursday’s game against the Penguins. The first was a remarkable fluke; the second was a beneficial one....
Jose Fernandez Was Delighted By This Kenta Maeda Pitch That Fooled Him
Kenta Maeda has spent his first season on this side of the Pacific confounding hitters and even socking the odd dinger. Tonight, he did it again, hoodwinking Jose Fernandez into chasing this pitch way up in the zone. Fernandez was so charmed by Maeda’s pitch that he couldn’t keep from laughing all t...
Caps Beat Pens On Oshie Overtime Hat Trick-Capper That Holds Up Under Review
Washington took the first game of its series against Pittsburgh tonight on an overtime wrap-around goal by T.J. Oshie that capped a hat trick but needed video review in order to be verified....
The NFL Draft's Red Carpet Belongs To Ezekiel Elliot
The NFL Draft is here, which means NFL fans will get way too excited about that QB with tiny hands their team picked and college fans will yell at each other about where players from their alma mater got picked. But it also means pageantry, and a bunch of big dudes in suits. I’m not an expert, but I...
Oh Hey, The Ducks Shit The Bed Again
The Predators franchise had never played a Game 7 before, and only six players on the roster had ever been in a winner-take-all game for other teams. Maybe, the Ducks might say, that was an advantage....
DeAndre Jordan Jams It All Over An Unsuspecting Mason Plumlee
The ragged, depleted Clippers are locked in an entertaining Game 5 rubber match with the Blazers down in Los Angeles, and no matter how many fans did or did not show up, someone’s gonna leave with a crucial 3-2 series lead. In the third quarter, Mason Plumlee got cute trying to figure out help cover...
Check Out This Outrageous, Leaping Steven Souza Catch
Remember back in 2014, when Steven Souza Jr. saved Jordan Zimmerman’s no-hitter with an over-the-shoulder catch for the last out? That was a great catch!...
Skip Bayless Gets Emotional Over Leaving ESPN To Peddle His Shitty Takes Elsewhere
Today’s episode of First Take began with Skip Bayless addressing the news that he’ll be leaving ESPN after the NBA Finals. Bayless, Molly Qerim, and Stephen A. Smith took a couple of minutes to reminisce about all the stupid opinions generated by the two....
Sadly, You're Not Allowed To Alley-Oop A Player
Keep an eye on Nos. 8 and 9 in the red. Well played, gentlemen. But you can’t legally do that. Good thing the refs didn’t know the rules....
That'll Do, Eastern Conference. That'll Do.
A depressing realization dawned on me as I struggled to stay awake through last night’s Game 5s in Atlanta and Toronto: These teams are shitty. Make a squad of the 10 best players from these four teams—the Hawks, Celtics, Pacers, and Raptors—and any of the West’s top three teams would put it down in...
High School Basketball Star Says He Didn't Know He Was 29 Years Old
Last week it was revealed that Jonathan Nicola, a 6-foot-9 junior tearing it up for Catholic Central High School in Windsor, Ontario, was not indeed a 17-year-old kid dunking on a bunch of fellow teens, but instead a 29-year-old man dunking on a bunch of unsuspecting teens. Nicola told authorities i...
Giancarlo Stanton Dinger Sends Clayton Kershaw To His Knees
Clayton Kershaw made Giancarlo Stanton swing and miss with a nasty little curve in the fourth inning to get his seventh strikeout of the evening. Two innings later, Stanton faced Kershaw again and smacked a fastball to the moon so hard that the Dodgers ace fell to his knees on the mound....
Billy Hamilton Lays Out For Spectacular Catch, Possibly Angers Baseball Gods
The Reds lost to the Mets again, despite being comfortably up 3-0 when Billy Hamilton made this spectacular full-stretch diving catch to get Kevin Plawecki out. After the catch, the Mets came back and scored four runs in the seventh to win 4-3. Did Hamilton’s dope catch call malevolent baseball spir...
Jake Arrieta: It's Flattering That Other MLB Players Maybe Think I'm On PEDs
Jake Arrieta is on one of the most dominant pitching runs of the recent past. The Cubs ace has a 0.86 ERA over his past 24 starts and he’s also thrown a pair of no-hitters in that span. He didn’t exactly come out of nowhere but before last season, he was okay, and now he’s good. Is it drugs? Probabl...