as Page 1536 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Benny The Bull Is Living The Dream
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David Schlemko Scores Silky Smooth Shootout Goal
The Bruins and Flames had to go to the eighth round of the shootout to find a winner, but what a winner it was. Defenseman David Schlemko—who the Flames just claimed on waivers—pulled a nice little do-si-do that completely fooled Tuukka Rask, and secured both points for the Flames. Just look at that...
Wisconsin Freshmen Practice Not Dying While Diving For Loose Balls
Wisconsin is playing at Minnesota right now, which provides a unique challenge: the raised floors of Williams Arena. The Golden Gophers gym is one of the last few in America that features a raised floor—of about two feet—and the Badger freshmen have likely never played on one. So yesterday feature...
New Fake Indian Joins Old Fake Indian In NY High School's R-Word Fight
The "Redskins" name controversy has played out all over America for years now, in precincts high and low. It's now turned up, though, in the last place you'd expect—Lancaster, N.Y. Some of the same spurious Indians defending the NFL team's name jumped in the small-town fray this week....
Brian Cashman Says The Yankees Should Retire The Very Idea Of Captaincy
On the radio today, Yankees GM Brian Cashman declared that if it were up to him, the Yankees would never name another captain after Derek Jeter, who was "so perfect" in the role but retired or died or something....
Watch Ronda Rousey Destroy Some Jamoke's Ribcage
Some guy who is the host of an internet show of some sort thought it would be a good idea to goad UFC champion Ronda Rousey into engaging in some friendly judo with him. The dude's ribcage probably wishes he'd just kept his mouth shut....
Hassan Whiteside Just Won't Quit
There has been no stranger story in the NBA this year than the rise of Hassan Whiteside, the 25-year-old center who spent the last two seasons playing for the Sichuan Blue Whales, Al Mouttahed Tripoli, and Jiangsu Tongxi—making the trip back to China after being released by Tripoli—and now won't s...
Screencap Classix: This Actually Happened In The Middle Of A Game
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Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...
Turner Can Probably Stop Running This March Madness Promo
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Russell Westbrook Owns The NBA
There was a full slate of NBA games on last night, featuring enough close games and superstar performances to keep anyone with a League Pass subscription fumbling with the remote. But the best game of the evening featured a 13-48 squad in the middle of an unprecedented tanking campaign and a Western...
Whatever Happened To That Dez Bryant Video?
It's impossible to prove a negative, but with each passing day, it seems more and more likely that the Dez Bryant video—the subject, over the last two weeks, of rumors so intense that they were, in themselves, semi-legitimate news—simply doesn't exist. ...
Make Your Bed. Make Your Bed? Make Your Bed!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
You've Got To Be Superman To Swing Like Jose Abreu
When the Chicago White Sox signed Cuban defector Jose Abreu to a six-year, $68 million deal, the expectation was that he would be worth his money, and the hope was that he would be be the next slugging first baseman/DH in the line of team greats Frank Thomas and Paul Konerko. It turned out to be a p...
How To Get Your Ass Back In Shape, And Keep It There
Now that the New Year's Resolutions crowd has cleared out of the gym, it's time to get down to business. The goal is not to become CrossFit truthers or pot-smoking ultramarathoners, but to simply avoid racking up massive medical bills due to poor health as we continue our slow, inevitable march to...
Bills Trade For Matt Cassel
The Bills announced they've agreed on a trade with the Vikings for QB Matt Cassel, with undisclosed draft picks heading both ways. Doesn't really matter! The new-look Bills have a quarterback. Sort of....
Deadcast: Is Ernie Banks’ Body Being Hidden In Washington, D.C.?
Since Chicago Cubs legend Ernie Banks died over a month ago, his surviving family members have been engaged in a blood feud with Banks's former mistress over both Banks's remaining assets (rumored to be valued at a mere $16,000) and his remains, the location of which are at present unknown. Even th...
Nene Plays Like Shit, Gets Taunted By Old Dudes
The Wizards, now in the midst of a 1-7 skid, got beat last night by a Bulls team that was without Jimmy Butler, Taj Gibson, and Derrick Rose. The Wiz are a goddamn mess right now, but nobody had a worse night than Nene....