as Page 1588 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Now, Your Most Horrifying Stories Of Being Caught Masturbating
I'm gonna tell the Price Is Right story now, because I don't think I've ever told it in full, so here goes (deep breath): I had just transferred to a new college, and my roommate was a year ahead of me. Football player. Perfectly nice dude. We weren't buddy buddies, but we managed to co-exist ami...
Frank Caliendo Has A Spot-On Stephen A. Smith Impersonation
Frank Caliendo was on that ESPN radio show with the two Mikes, and broke out his Stephen A. Smith impersonation, "Stephen B. Smith." The unnecessarily wordy sentences, the name-dropping—it's perfect....
El Clásico Fandom Map: Who Ya Got, Earth?
Just in time for tomorrow's match, Facebook has released its El Clásico fandom map of the world (minus China). The red nations support Barcelona, the white ones Real Madrid. If the two blocs went to war, it'd be a blowout....
Texas Should Declare Independence And Make This Their National Beer
Yesterday, one of my idiot friends told me that certain South Floridians have expressed interest in seceding from the rest of the state. Roughly 11 seconds of exhaustive Googling just now failed to turn up much evidence, but let's say it's true. Makes sense. The government's way up north, and appa...
Unraveling The Confounding Reputation Of Royals Manager Ned Yost
Ned Yost has led the Royals to their best two-season stretch in a quarter century and put the 19th highest paid major league team in the World Series. But rather than garnering manager-of-the-year consideration, Yost gets shat on. Why is that?...
Watch This Guy Describe The Last 60 World Series Endings From Memory
Mark Simon is one of the brains behind ESPN Stats & Info, and he possesses a scary-accurate ability to recall specific and minute bits of information on the fly. Watch as he gives a detailed description of the last play of each World Series from the past 60 years....
Peanut Guy Is An Accurate, Concession-Throwing Machine
Look, being the Peanut Guy isn't that sweet of a gig. You're employed by Aramark, you're at a baseball game but don't get to watch any of it, you have to work like 10 straight nights on a home stand, you're always dropping your hard earned cash on lozenges for your sore throat, and you rarely get a ...
Back Injury Forces Steve Nash Out For Entire 2014–15 Season
The bad back that has plagued Steve Nash his entire career has knocked him out for the entire season before it even begins, the Lakers announced Thursday night. Nash suffered the latest re-aggravation—I shit you not—while carrying some luggage....
What This Woman Did For An Aging Basketball Player Will Warm Your Heart
Illuminada Magtoto, a 90-year-old Miami resident, recently gave back to her community by agreeing to play in a one-on-one game with Dwyane Wade, an inspiring local man who refuses to let his old age and withered body stand in the way of his dream of playing in the NBA....
Which NBA Coach Was Caught Masturbating In College?
Earlier this week, I solicited entries for our upcoming GREAT MOMENTS IN BEING CAUGHT JERKING OFF. And there were many fine submissions, but one anonymous reader sent in this blind item—totally unverified but amusing nonetheless—that deserves to stand on its own. Take it away, sir… ...
Chris Douglas-Roberts Is Bringing Short Shorts Back To The NBA
Chris Douglas-Roberts signed a one-year deal with the Clippers, and is taking advantage of the opportunity to inflict untold horrors on the basketball-loving public. Douglas-Roberts asked for medium-sized shorts. Functionally, those are short shorts....
Hunter Strickland Was Mad Because He Couldn't Understand Salvador Perez
The most exciting moment in the top-to-bottom pivotal sixth inning came when Kansas City broke things open at the expense of Giants' fireballer Hunter Strickland, who is, according to Bruce Bochy, "a really intense kid." Yeah, we saw....
Comcast Decides World Series Is PERFECT Time For Emergency Alert
Apparently Omar Infante hit a two-run home run in the 6th inning, which was followed by Salvador Perez and Hunter Strickland shouting at each other and the benches emptying. I say apparently because I—like all other Comcast customers in the DC area—was instead shown an emergency alert test during th...
Tim Lincecum Missed The World Series Intros Because He Was Barfing
Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum was absent for the introductions before Game One of the World Series last night, and no one knew why at the time. Was he fed up with his minuscule role in San Francisco's bullpen? Was there a fight in the clubhouse? Nah. He was just puking....
Marco Reus Reminds The World That He's The Truth
You might've been excused for losing track of Borussia Dortmund's Marco Reus, what with his pre-World Cup injury and the subsequent setback that held him out for much of this season. But today, in just his second game back from injury, he's been so kind as to remind us all what he can do....
Edward Snowden, Before The Storm: <em>Citizenfour</em>, Reviewed
Movies are lots of things, but "important" isn't one of them. It's not that they can't be meaningful and life-changing, but when a critic's praise tries to go beyond that, it raises red flags for me....
UNC Investigation Reveals Widespread Academic Fraud
We knew that UNC's Department of African and Afro-American Studies offered sham classes. After the release of today's independent investigation we now know it went on for nearly two decades, and involved thousands of students—nearly half of them athletes....
Some Can See The Future: A Game One Blowout
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Struggle
It's stupid to distill a baseball game down to a single play. They're a complex, evolving series of discrete events. If you were going to try, though, Game 1 of the World Series would maybe look something like this. ...