as Page 1594 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jürgen Klinsmann Wishes America Would Adopt Promotion And Relegation

It's another international fixture break, which means it's another opportunity for Jürgen Klinsmann to get his message out to the media, which means it's yet another chance for him to criticise America's domestic leagues. This time, his beef is with the lack of promotion and relegation....

Fake Indian Gets Faker In War With <em>Washington Post</em> Reporter

Mark One Wolf, who sure looks like just another bogus Indian propped up by Dan Snyder, has added one more native-sounding name to his already massive ID stable....

Jason Whitlock Has Written His Magnum Derpus

ESPN columnist Jason Whitlock wrote a column last night wherein he tackled Monday's Michael Brown protests outside of Busch Stadium. Protesters demanding justice for Brown's shooting death at the hands of Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson were met by a crowd of Cardinals fans exulting in the dea...

DeMarco Murray Has Been The NFL's Best Running Back. Can He Keep It Up?

Cowboys running back DeMarco Murray is dominating the NFL right now, leading the league with 670 yards in five games, 210 more than the next guy, Le'Veon Bell. Murray got there on 130 attempts, an absurd number at this point of the season (sad-ass LeSean McCoy is in second place with 94). He's on ...

Some Fools Are Selling Darren Wilson Cardinals Shirts

Inspired by the dude who taped an "I Am Darren Wilson" sign to the back of his Cardinals jersey before Game 4 of the NLDS, a local group of people who support Darren Wilson—a Ferguson, Mo., police officer who shot and killed unarmed teen Mike Brown in August— has decided to start selling handmade sh...

Yao Ming: Still Really Fucking Tall

Here's Yao Ming with Shaquille O'Neal, who himself is a noted tall person. ...

Hate Mail (Mostly) From Cardinals Fans

Our recent coverage of the St. Louis Cardinals has elicited many responses from our readers. Some of them are angry, some of them less so....

Pissed Off Oilers Fan Throws Hoodie, And Phone, Onto The Ice

The Edmonton Oilers have been pretty terrible since losing the Stanley Cup Finals in 2006, and they're probably going to be terrible again this year. But Oilers fans can take solace in the fact that bitter rivals Calgary are supposed to be even worse. Winning the Battle of Alberta isn't as nice as m...

The NHL Believes Strongly In Player Safety

John Rocker Made An Ass Of Himself On <em>Survivor</em>

As ready-made Survivor villains go, John Rocker was always a bit too good to be true. A beefy dude with a hot temper, a notorious past, an empty head, and a (presumably) well-stocked bank account? Fans might have been rooting for him to stick around for hate-watching purposes, but there was no way h...

We Have A Halloween Cereal Problem

It's Halloween season, now, and if you've taken your keen consumer eye into certain participating supermarket chains, you may have noticed the (for a limited time only!) return of the familiar monster-themed General Mills cereals of yore: Count Chocula, Franken-Berry, and Boo-Berry....

MMA Fighter Live-Tweets Police Standoff While Holed Up In House

Jason "Mayhem" Miller, a professional MMA fighter who is best-known for hosting Bully Beatdown on MTV and starting a post-bout brawl at a match he wasn't involved in, is currently live-tweeting his standoff with police....

Lions Catch Laser-Pointing Jabroni, Ban Him Indefinitely

Mark Beslach, the guy who bragged on Twitter about shining a laser pointer in Kyle Orton's face at the Bills-Lions game, was caught. Police charged him with disorderly conduct, and the Lions banned him indefinitely from Ford Field....

AHL Mascot's Backstory Totally Includes A Dead Firefighter [Update]

Via Puck Daddy, this is Scorch. He's the newly revealed mascot of the AHL's Adirondack Flames. He was probably purchased a local Halloween superstore. But his shoddy construction and uninspiring photoshoot locations are probably the least problematic thing about him....

Boxer Gets Punched In The Dick So Hard He Can't Continue, Loses Fight

Last night on ESPN's Wednesday Night Fights, Carlos Velasquez took on journeyman boxer Jean Sotelo. Velasquez was heavily favored, and for the round and a half, dominated Sotelo. Then he punched Sotelo right in the dick....

Sweet ESPN Martial Arts Broadcast A Throwback To Network's Early Days

If you're old enough to remember any of the 80's, you know that ESPN wasn't always the home to 24-hour jabbering analysts and NFL talk shows. In its more fledgling days, the WWL aired whatever content to which it could obtain rights; thus, Americans were introduced to wacky hat-wearing and fingerg...

Redditor Asks How Much Pumpkin To Put In His Cincinnati Chi--[Gunshot]

Behold, the worst of all the things: a Redditor putting pumpkin in his diarrhea sludge! ...

Report: N.J. High School Football Players Sexually Assaulted Freshmen

Sayreville (N.J.) Superintendent of Schools Richard Labbe cancelled Sayreville War Memorial High School's football season Monday amid claims of hazing, though the details were unknown. But a parent of a Sayreville player talked to NJ.com today, and what happened sounds horrific and inhumane....

Chandler Parsons Is Probably Thrilled To Be Away From Dwight Howard

First, watch this video of Howard catching up with his old teammate before last night's preseason game....

There's Nothing Wrong With The Dodgers Spending A Lot Of Money

Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal has a column up today that rightly marvels at the St. Louis Cardinals' ability to consistently win in the postseason. Things take a weird turn, though, when Rosenthal starts referring to the Los Angeles Dodgers as the "Dollars."...