as Page 1614 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Jerry Jones Was Physically Barred From Drafting Johnny Manziel
It appears that Jerry Jones is still operating the Dallas Cowboys by following the "Drunk Uncle" school of management. Which is to say, his own children still need to physically prevent him from making franchise-altering decisions on the fly....
Chelsea, <em>Hot Damn</em>
It's too early to declare something a goal of the year contender...right?...
Glasshole Wants You To Wear A Computer On Your Face While You Cook
National Geographic magazine, a mail-order Caring About Things merit badge for baby boomers, has been running a "Future of Food" series on the Plate, its food blog, for the past few months. This month's entry was written by Mary Beth Albright, an attorney, food writer, and former contestant on Food...
Matthew McConaughey Rocks A Fanny Pack At Astros-Red Sox Game
Matthew McConaughey—the lieutenant of L-I-V-I-N, the commander of casual, the bombardier of being real—was at Sunday's Astros-Red Sox game, wearing a fanny pack. He did not care about anyone else's opinion of his fanny pack....
Young Pirates Fan Goes Through The Emotional Wringer
Our friend here, who was at Nationals Park to cheer on the visiting Pirates against the home team last night, never quite reaches the raw sadness of Sad Cubs Kid, but that's because he never really had much hope. You can tell by his face; he knew where this was going from the start....
Crazy Minor League Manager Is Back With Another Meltdown
It's been a while since we've heard from Joe Mikulik, the manager of the Class A Myrtle Beach Pelicans who basically invented the "minor league coach goes straight apeshit" genre. During a game against the Salem Red Sox, Mikulik proved that he still has his fastball....
Florida State Tops The AP Poll, Which Very Much Still Matters
The Associated Press has released its preseason college football poll, always fun, but maybe carrying a little extra poignancy this year, the first time a national champion will be chosen without the (official) input of polls....
Are You Ready For Some NASCAR?!
I don't know that I've ever heard a crowd boo the "drivers, start your engine" routine, but here you have it. Olympic ice dancers Charlie White and Meryl Davis did the ceremonial duties today at the Pure Michigan 400 today. It was pretty underwhelming and the crowd let them know....
Steve Ballmer Practiced Being Owner With His Son's High School Team
The Seattle Times has a piece out today detailing incoming Clippers owner Steve Ballmer's foray into the shady world of high school prep sports and the wealthy parents living vicariously through their kids. Ballmer's son's basketball team at Lakeside School in Seattle sucked, and he wanted to make i...
Bo Pelini On Ice Bucket Challenge: "Let's Get It Over With"
I don't know how much more of the Ice Buckets we can take, but I'm going to highlight this one because glimmering ray of sunshine and source of life itself Bo Pelini took on the cold waters for charity awareness thusly: "I've been challenged, I guess, to the Ice Bucket, so let's get it over with."...
Challenger Emerges For Worst First Pitch Ever: Miss Texas
Replicating this to any degree of exactitude could actually be a contestant's talent routine in a beauty pageant. Miss Texas Monique Evans's form, a horse mascot, and most importantly, the perfect watching-a-car-drive-by reaction, all make this an incredibly rare and difficult feat. ...
Guy Loses Fantasy League, Has To Make Embarrassing Photo Calendar
This is a pretty great way to punish the person who comes in last in your fantasy league. Instead of merely living with shame in the abstract, make it tangible (and practical!) with a calendar full of embarrassing photoshops, like naked Prince Fielder....
Something Disgusting Happened In Ashley Young's Mouth
It's hard to say exactly what this is that flies directly into Ashley Young's mouth—many on Twitter say it's bird shit, which should make you want to eat Clorox wipes for a week—but even if it's just human spit, it's equal parts amazing and gross. ...
KBO Star Murders Baseball Over Enormous Scoreboard In Center Field
Korean Baseball star Park Byung-Ho of the Nexen Heroes absolutely demolished a home run on Friday that cleared the giant scoreboard in centerfield. He now has 39 home runs, most in KBO. That's four more than the his teammate Kang Jung Ho, and 13 more than the next guy Lee Seung Yuop at 26. Heroes be...
Authorities: Sooner Recruit Punched Woman In Face, Then Walked Away
One of Oklahoma's five-star recruits was charged today with one misdemeanor count of acts resulting in gross injury after prosecutors say he knocked a woman unconscious in a Norman restaurant, and then just left. ...
These Lil-Ass Bears Are Cuter Than Hell
Damn, man, get a load of these tiny bears. Those are some tiny bears! ...
This Child Is So Amped For Jaguars Preseason Football
Chad Henne? Toby Gerhart? Field goals? This tyke is all for it. Give him that preseason Jaguars sweetness; he can't get enough....
We're All Doomed, But Burger King's Chicken Fries Are Back!
Shit week, huh? But chin up! The weekend's almost here, the cops haven't gotten around to killing every single last one of us yet, and Burger King has brought back Chicken Fries....
![I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ehld1aode0he3r6afxtu.jpg)
I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]
Reader David passed along some old photos from the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers' locker room. In his email, he claimed that Don Zimmer's dick was fully visible. We decided to dig deeper into this Dodgers dick. Our findings: It's almost certainly not Zimmer's, though the mystery wang does belong to a base...
Let It Be Demolished: Paul McCartney Shuts Down Candlestick Park
Paul McCartney is like the Grand Canyon, or bangers and mash: There's no sexing him up. At 72, he's the rare individual for whom the phrase "living legend" feels like kind of a slight. Bigger than Jesus? Quite possibly. But how many records did Jesus ever sell, and what has he done for you lately? T...