as Page 1973 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When The Flag Is Up, You May As Well Shoot For YouTube
Heerenveen midfielder Oussama Assaidi was offside, and he knew he was offside, so why not flick it home with a little flair? No goal, but a mess of style points....

This Evening: The Nationals' Rookies, Hazed To Dress As Smurfs, With Stephen Strasburg As Papa Smurf
Your p.m. roundup for Sept.12, the day Shirley the orangutan quit smoking. Photo courtesy @JesusFloresN26, via Larry Brown Sports. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A Brief Dispatch From Las Vegas On The Occasion Of The Jets Beating The Cowboys On 9/11
LAS VEGAS—The scene: Caesars Palace. A quiet corner of a quiet bar, DAL-NYJ on the TV. A handful of exceedingly pleasant Cowboys fans sitting in a half-circle. A lone Jets fan sitting in front—a desiccated New Yorker given to periodic bursts of yelping and fist-pumping. You know the type. All coiled...

Help Us Finish "The Snydering" (Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction)
As you may have heard, Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit against the Washington City Paper is no more. Which means we will no longer be posting a daily link to the story that so enraged Snyder (and which he failed to read). But we still have to wrap up The Snydering, our satirical, non-libelous Dan Sn...

NC State's Basketball Coach Will Jump Out Of A Plane And Land At The 50-Yard Line For, Um, "Military Appreciation Week"
Does someone get this? Because we're not sure we get this. Southeastern college basketball was only recently liberated from the tyranny of Bruce Pearl, its chief coach-mascot, and now it's got another one on its hands....

We Could Watch Tony Romo Take A Snap To The Gut Over And Over Again
And so we shall. [via]...

Clydesdales Genuflecting Toward Lower Manhattan, And Other 9/11 Inanities
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

SprtsCntr: Merril Hodge Has A New Toy
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

We've Found The Unluckiest Soccer Team In The World: Off The Woodwork 3 Times In 3 Seconds
"Unlucky" being one of the more generous adjectives to describe Real Betis's repeated failure to find twine late in the first half of their La Liga match against Mallorca yesterday. Don't blame Rubén Castro, who got things rolling with a shot off the far post; blame Jorge Molina, whose successive ...

Behold This Bumbling Romo-Sanchez Lowlight Reel
It was never clear last night just which quarterback would throw away the game for his team: Tony Romo or Mark Sanchez. In the end it was Romo, who fumbled twice and threw the ball away to Darrelle Revis (Sanchez also threw a pick and fumbled the ball away) to help the Jets set up a game-winning f...

Tony Soprano Probably Saved The Jets By Having The Cowboys Whacked
Your morning roundup for Sept. 12, the day after there just wasn't enough 9/11 coverage on television. Photo via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

9/11 Stadium Brawl At Jets-Cowboys Game Includes One Fan Zapping People With A Taser
I guess we could assume that the security at MetLife Stadium was being extra vigilant during tonight's stressful, gloomy anniversary game and were so preoccupied with making sure no fan tried to sneak in an umbrella or a laser pointer that they simply forgot to pat-down everyone for the little thi...

Young Kansas City Fan Just Seems To Get What Coach Haley's All About
Buffalo Bills 41, Kansas City Chiefs 7. Bro....

Presenting Details Culled From The Heroic, Romantic Tale Of How Dan Snyder Courted Mike Shanahan
There's a story in today's Washington Post headlined "Washington Redskins: How Daniel Snyder found his man in Mike Shanahan."...

Daniel Snyder Finally Dismisses His Dumbass Libel Lawsuit Against The Washington City Paper
Let this serve as We Are All Dave McKenna CCXVIII ......

Watch A Chelsea Player Take Cleats To His Back And Decide For Yourself Whether It Was Intentional
In today's EPL match between Chelsea and Sunderland, Juan Mata of the former felt some cleats drive into his back from the foot of opponent Phil Bardsley....

Now The Phillies Have Decided To Affect The Outcome Of Milwaukee's Sausage Races
"Before the top of the sixth began, [second baseman] Pete Orr forgot to look both ways when exiting the dugout and accidentally stepped in front of five racing sausages. He ducked between Polish and Italian but smacked into Hot Dog. The fans booed the sheepish Canadian, who smirked as an entire du...

At Least Four Arizona State Fans Went To Last Night's Game In Blackface
Your morning roundup for Sept. 10, a day when it's apparently illegal for wannabe vampires to bite homeless men outside the neighborhood Hooters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Paul Hamm Is Just Another Unemployed Drunk Male Gymnast Now
The Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm has been fired from his assistant coaching position at The Ohio State University, following his arrest for assaulting a cab driver in Columbus last Saturday....

LeBron Introduces The World To His Sister LeBre'sha, Who Is Actually Just LeBron In Drag
It's that time of year here in New York City, when the rich people frolic through the streets in designer clothing more often than usual and pretend to watch tennis at the U.S. Open: Fashion Week is here!...