as Page 1974 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Snooki Will Not Wave The Green Flag At This Weekend's NASCAR Race After All
She instead decided to let the brother of a firefighter who died on 9/11 have the honor at Richmond International Speedway. Turns out she has some dignity after all. [From the Marbles]...

Football Coach Says His Team "Don't Need No Meows, No Cats" In Presser Of The Year
David Bennett, head coach of the football team at Coastal Carolina, relayed a message for his team in a press conference on Wednesday. We've transcribed it below so that you can more clearly follow his logic:...

Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...

Michele Tafoya Seems To Be Staring At Whatever Al Michaels Finds So Funny
Your morning roundup for Sept. 9, the day we didn't realize we were on the air. Photo courtesy Getty Images, via Homer Bush. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family
And it's not like he has a history of threatening to beat anyone up or doing anything like this before. [MyFoxDFW]...

Kid Shoots 20,317 Baskets Over Labor Day Weekend, Is Randomly The Son Of My Eye Doctor
Sometimes we get a tip in the ol' inbox here that speaks to us for personal reasons. Early this morning, one came in about Will Thomas, a 12-year-old seventh-grader in McLean, Virginia, who decided to spend his Labor Day weekend shooting baskets to raise money for the families of the 17 Navy SEALs k...

Here's The Dash Cam View Of Olympic Gymnast Paul Hamm's Drunken Arrest In Ohio Last Weekend
Paul Hamm, the gymnast who won a gold medal in the Athens Olympics back in 2004, was arrested in Ohio last weekend for allegedly assaulting a cab driver. Or, if you'd prefer the Daily News version of this story, he "vaulted into jail over Labor Day weekend after cops said he worked over an Ohio ca...

Well-Meaning Nats Fan Breaks Out The "HE'S BACK KKK" Jersey For Stephen Strasburg's Return
I get it. We're all very excited about Strasburg's return from Tommy John surgery, and he did what he could by making one of them a backwards K. But, he couldn't have added an extra K? Or eliminated the space between them and "back?" Or, even better, not had the jersey made in the first place? [DC S...

New Zealand's Sex Workers Expect The Rugby World Cup Will Be Quite The Lucrative Affair
The Rugby World Cup is set to get underway this week in New Zealand. It's expected to attract some 95,000 visitors to a land where the toilets flush weirdly. (Here's a story about the sporting aspect of the event.)...

Today In Great Headlines
Arkansas weatherman Brett Cummins found in hot tub with naked dead man wearing 'dog collar': police [New York Daily News] (H/T Steve P.)...

PNC Park's Acoustics Are So Good That You Can Hear A Home Run Hit The Empty Bleachers
In tonight's epic showdown between the Houston Astros and Pittsburgh Pirates, Carlos Lee hit a two-run dinger in the top of the first. What tipster Trey A. pointed out was that "I've never heard a HR hit the outfield bleachers before. But yet again, I've never watched a Pirates game."...

Shaq Listed "Binnochulars" Under "Special Skills" In His Miami Police Application
The Miami New Times has taken on the admirable pursuit of making every single word that Shaquille O'Neal has ever typed or written available to the public. Through their work, we'd previously learned of Shaq's infidelity, his infidelity, and also his infidelity....

So <em>This</em> Is Why Black People Don't Play Fantasy Football
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...

"God Made NASCAR," According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
Welcome to another installment of the Fox Nation commenter essays. Please prepare yourself for lots of caps lock....

Chris Kluwe And Nate Jackson Have Made Up
In August, former Broncos tight end Nate Jackson questioned in this space whether Vikings punter Chris Kluwe had the right to call Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Logan Mankins, and Vincent Jackson "douchebags."...

Apologies To Andrés Cantor, But Mountain Biking Announcers Are The Craziest
Young Briton Danny Hart obliterated the best downhill mountain bikers by nearly 12 seconds this weekend at the world championships in Champery, Switzerland. Normally, Hart's performance would soon retreat back into the shadow world that is downhill mountain biking. But no. Not this day. Not if com...

Milwaukee Brewers, Texas Tech Are Both Very Very Texas
It is always fun when athletes play dress-up, because the idea of tens of men all wearing the same uniform is a kind of dress-up anyway. The Brewers shed their road grays for flannel on their recent trip to Houston. It was all at the suggestion of manager Ron Roenicke, who got the idea of theme road...

ESPN's Fantasy Guru Thinks "Rapelisberger" Is Worth Having As Your QB
A reader named John helpfully screen-grabbed this tweet from ESPN fantasy expert Eric Karabell, which John said had appeared on the ESPN fantasy football page for a bit last night, at least until Karabell saw fit to delete it. Granted, Karabell was just answering a question about going with Vick or ...

SprtsCntr: Peyton Manning Has An Ouchie
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Rob Ryan On Rex's Foot Fetish: "Naw, I Mean Hell, He Is A Little Freaky I Guess"
You may have read about the possible foot-fetish-filmin' proclivities of New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan. He likes feet, Deadspin told you last December, and then Wes Welker joked about it while Ryan wouldn't talk about it....