as Page 1999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We've Found The Unluckiest Soccer Team In The World: Off The Woodwork 3 Times In 3 Seconds
"Unlucky" being one of the more generous adjectives to describe Real Betis's repeated failure to find twine late in the first half of their La Liga match against Mallorca yesterday. Don't blame Rubén Castro, who got things rolling with a shot off the far post; blame Jorge Molina, whose successive ...
Behold This Bumbling Romo-Sanchez Lowlight Reel
It was never clear last night just which quarterback would throw away the game for his team: Tony Romo or Mark Sanchez. In the end it was Romo, who fumbled twice and threw the ball away to Darrelle Revis (Sanchez also threw a pick and fumbled the ball away) to help the Jets set up a game-winning f...
Tony Soprano Probably Saved The Jets By Having The Cowboys Whacked
Your morning roundup for Sept. 12, the day after there just wasn't enough 9/11 coverage on television. Photo via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
9/11 Stadium Brawl At Jets-Cowboys Game Includes One Fan Zapping People With A Taser
I guess we could assume that the security at MetLife Stadium was being extra vigilant during tonight's stressful, gloomy anniversary game and were so preoccupied with making sure no fan tried to sneak in an umbrella or a laser pointer that they simply forgot to pat-down everyone for the little thi...
Young Kansas City Fan Just Seems To Get What Coach Haley's All About
Buffalo Bills 41, Kansas City Chiefs 7. Bro....
Presenting Details Culled From The Heroic, Romantic Tale Of How Dan Snyder Courted Mike Shanahan
There's a story in today's Washington Post headlined "Washington Redskins: How Daniel Snyder found his man in Mike Shanahan."...
Daniel Snyder Finally Dismisses His Dumbass Libel Lawsuit Against The Washington City Paper
Let this serve as We Are All Dave McKenna CCXVIII ......
Watch A Chelsea Player Take Cleats To His Back And Decide For Yourself Whether It Was Intentional
In today's EPL match between Chelsea and Sunderland, Juan Mata of the former felt some cleats drive into his back from the foot of opponent Phil Bardsley....
Now The Phillies Have Decided To Affect The Outcome Of Milwaukee's Sausage Races
"Before the top of the sixth began, [second baseman] Pete Orr forgot to look both ways when exiting the dugout and accidentally stepped in front of five racing sausages. He ducked between Polish and Italian but smacked into Hot Dog. The fans booed the sheepish Canadian, who smirked as an entire du...
At Least Four Arizona State Fans Went To Last Night's Game In Blackface
Your morning roundup for Sept. 10, a day when it's apparently illegal for wannabe vampires to bite homeless men outside the neighborhood Hooters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Paul Hamm Is Just Another Unemployed Drunk Male Gymnast Now
The Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm has been fired from his assistant coaching position at The Ohio State University, following his arrest for assaulting a cab driver in Columbus last Saturday....
LeBron Introduces The World To His Sister LeBre'sha, Who Is Actually Just LeBron In Drag
It's that time of year here in New York City, when the rich people frolic through the streets in designer clothing more often than usual and pretend to watch tennis at the U.S. Open: Fashion Week is here!...
Snooki Will Not Wave The Green Flag At This Weekend's NASCAR Race After All
She instead decided to let the brother of a firefighter who died on 9/11 have the honor at Richmond International Speedway. Turns out she has some dignity after all. [From the Marbles]...
Football Coach Says His Team "Don't Need No Meows, No Cats" In Presser Of The Year
David Bennett, head coach of the football team at Coastal Carolina, relayed a message for his team in a press conference on Wednesday. We've transcribed it below so that you can more clearly follow his logic:...
Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...
Michele Tafoya Seems To Be Staring At Whatever Al Michaels Finds So Funny
Your morning roundup for Sept. 9, the day we didn't realize we were on the air. Photo courtesy Getty Images, via Homer Bush. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family
And it's not like he has a history of threatening to beat anyone up or doing anything like this before. [MyFoxDFW]...
Kid Shoots 20,317 Baskets Over Labor Day Weekend, Is Randomly The Son Of My Eye Doctor
Sometimes we get a tip in the ol' inbox here that speaks to us for personal reasons. Early this morning, one came in about Will Thomas, a 12-year-old seventh-grader in McLean, Virginia, who decided to spend his Labor Day weekend shooting baskets to raise money for the families of the 17 Navy SEALs k...
Here's The Dash Cam View Of Olympic Gymnast Paul Hamm's Drunken Arrest In Ohio Last Weekend
Paul Hamm, the gymnast who won a gold medal in the Athens Olympics back in 2004, was arrested in Ohio last weekend for allegedly assaulting a cab driver. Or, if you'd prefer the Daily News version of this story, he "vaulted into jail over Labor Day weekend after cops said he worked over an Ohio ca...
Well-Meaning Nats Fan Breaks Out The "HE'S BACK KKK" Jersey For Stephen Strasburg's Return
I get it. We're all very excited about Strasburg's return from Tommy John surgery, and he did what he could by making one of them a backwards K. But, he couldn't have added an extra K? Or eliminated the space between them and "back?" Or, even better, not had the jersey made in the first place? [DC S...