as Page 2009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit somehow wakes Dante up from his eternal slumber and creates a 10th circle of Hell solely for dumbass libel suits of this nature to share ...

Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...

Here Are Both Of Last Night's 2OT Cockpunches
Playoff hockey overtime might be the single greatest thing in the sports world — assuming your team isn't involved. Then it's a war of nail-biting, heart-stopping attrition, destined to end in glory and highlight compilations for one side, and wondering why you even bothered staying up late for th...

Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....

The Lady Who Yelled At Cops To Stop Beating, Tasing The Patriotic Pirates Fan Was Fined $1,000
Remember the clearly patriotic Pirates fan who got billy clubbed and Tased at PNC Park earlier this month? Of course you do, but here's a link to it anyway. Dude's name is Scott Ashley. He's 40, from Friendship, but isn't due in court until May 25 to face charges of harassment, public drunkenness,...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit find its way into the wood chipper....

Woody Durham, The Vin Scully Of North Carolina: An Appreciation
One of Tobacco Road basketball's lesser-touted but nonetheless enduring traditions is the hatred at all four schools of television announcing. Raycom or ESPN, Dan Bonner or Mike Patrick, Dick Vitale or, especially, the execrable Billy Packer — depending on your household, they're all either utter...

High School Baseball Player Gets Awesomely Creative With His Slide At The Plate
Caleb Walker, a player for Tupelo High in Mississippi, rounded third with his team down a run last Thursday and decided he would score. Walker told WTVA that this play was "one of the greatest moments of my life" — and since our share of high school glory moments are nothing like this, we'll give ...

Tim Donaghy Has A Theory On Danny Crawford And The Mavericks
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: what Donaghy thinks of the refereeing so far in these playoffs. Cubes won't like this one....

North Dakota Passes A Law To Protect UND's Fighting Sioux Mascot; NCAA Will Make Them Break It
This week in North Dakota, where all news is news, the state legislature passed a law mandating that "the intercollegiate athletic teams sponsored by the [U]niversity of North Dakota shall be known as the [U]niversity of North Dakota fighting Sioux." Yes, the logo and nickname that the NCAA deemed w...

The Restless Mind Of C.J. Wilson, The Rangers' Straight-Edge, Tolkien-Reading Enemy Of MLB Douchebags
The following is excerpted from Curtis's cover story in the May issue of Texas Monthly about the Rangers — "an AA meeting in spikes," he writes....

Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Segundo Clásico Open Thread
The Spanish Superbowl enters its second stage today in Valencia. This one is for the championship of the Copa del Rey. On Saturday, Real Madrid managed a shorthanded come-from-behind 1-1 draw in a league game. Over the next two weeks, the teams will play twice more to decide a Champions League semif...

How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...

Your Football Team Will Win 11, Maybe 12 Games Next Season
With the release of the NFL schedule, fans everywhere finally have the chance to see their team's 16-game slate, and work out probable final records. And yeah, look at those games; your team's going to the playoffs for sure....

<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....

Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...

An Analysis Of Steve Nash's Emotions As He Becomes The Latest Nicki Minaj Lap Dance Victim
First, Chris Paul. Now, Steve Nash. Is no point guard safe from Nicki Minaj's candy-colored backside? Regard Nash's face as he receives a "lapdance" from the songstress last night at U.S. Airways Center. There is much to learn here about human behavior....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit puts down the gun and fights like a man....

How To Deal With Crappy Refereeing: Quit The League
Mark Cuban take note: three teams in the Premier Basketball League have left the organization after some decidedly one-sided refereeing in the finals....

Bob Knight Continues His Solo Defamation Crusade Against John Calipari
Bob Knight can't bullwhip his players anymore, and so over the past few years he's redirected his unmitigated anger about college athletics. It now rests squarely on the head of Kentucky basketball pimp John Calipari. On Saturday, Knight spoke to some Hoosiers at a banquet in Wabash, Ind. and claime...