as Page 2036 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Celtics Lowlight Is The Most B-Team Clip Ever
See Von Wafer swoop down the lane. See Von Wafer miss on a wide-open dunk. See Von Wafer believe that he has made the dunk. See Von Wafer face the crowd in celebration. See Von Wafer turn and collide with his teammate, who has collected his offensive board. See Von Wafer make his teammate, Jermain...

Charlie Villanueva And Ryan Hollins Celebrate End Of Miserable Seasons With An Eye-Gouging Affair
The Cleveland Cavaliers, at 18-63, boast the second-worst record in the NBA. The Pistons don't have much more to brag about (although they do have Rodney Stuckey) at 29-52. Neither will have a place in the playoffs following their final regular-season games tomorrow night. So perhaps Detroit's Cha...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is decomposing in the bog....

This Is The Saddest Image To Come Out Of The Sad WNBA Draft
The 2011 WNBA draft, held at 3 p.m. on a Monday, is now wrapping up. No shockers here: the Minnesota Lynx selected UConn's Maya Moore (projected during the draft to be the league MVP) with the first pick, 6'8" Australian Elizabeth Cambage was second overall and will play for Tulsa, and Courtney Vand...

Craigslist's Going Rate For A Misspelled Larry Johnson Chiefs Jersey Is $30
"Offered is the pictured Larry Johnson Kansas City Chiefs jersey by Reebok NFL Equipment." I hpoe he tkaes PyaPla. [Craigslist Raleigh, h/t Brant]...

Only Insects Can Stop NASCAR's Chosen One, Trevor Bayne
Divine superpowers failed Trevor Bayne this weekend when he was unable to ward off a personal plague in the form of a bug bite on his elbow that hospitalized the Daytona Cup winner. Bayne had been unstoppable since Daytona, registering an outstanding 40th in the Subway Fresh Fit 500 and a blazing-ho...

Who Wants To Watch Tom Brady Cry?
Tom Brady paused for a near droplet in an ESPN interview about his draft day in 2000, when he wasn't selected until the sixth round. Brady, who seems to be growing more expressive with age, paused to remember his supportive parents and needed a moment. He also entertained the idea that he would ha...

And When It Was All Over, Rory McIlroy Sought Solace In The Arms Of Vince McMahon's Kid
Your morning roundup for April 11, the day we remembered that Sidney Lumet also directed The Wiz....

"You're Either Gonna Be A Winner, Or You're Gonna Be A Loser. And Right Now, I'm A Winner."
When the good people at Fox's Dallas Fort Worth affiliate set out to do a scene piece at the Texas Sprint Cup Race (winner: Matt Kenseth), they met Tracy "You Can Take The Boy Out of the Trailer But You Can't Take The Trailer Out of the Boy, and This is a Big Trailer Park Right Here" Holder, Brandon...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets absolved of its need to have even existed in the first place. Today's topic: The cross-sport implications of Snyder's insolence....

Your Final Round Of The Masters Open Thread
There's a story on the Masters website about how Rory McIlroy and Jason Day set aside the "fun and frivolity" of "talking about random stuff, about Florida, jumping on Sea-Doos" during yesterday's round. Oh, those crazy kids....

Here's Video Of A Clearly Patriotic Pirates Fan Getting Billy Clubbed And Tased
Writes tipster Adam B. of the video he dutifully sent over this morning, "This is rather unheard of for a Pirates game, usually because there's not enough people in the stadium to get arrested." This presumably occurred during last night's 6-4 Rockies win at PNC Park....

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until some really bad, unspeakable things befall Snyder's dumbass libel suit. Today's topic: The draft....

Minor Leaguer Mercifully Cut By Indians Organization, Hits Million-Dollar Scratch-Off Ticket
Joel Torres still has major-league dreams despite being released by the minor-league Akron Aeros baseball team last month. He may have emptied all the luck from his tank yesterday, though, when he picked up a $660,300 lump-sum payment for hitting a $1 million "Sweet Millions" lottery ticket that h...

No Strikes, but One Out as Labor Unrest Hovers Over Video Games
For a brief moment Tuesday, I wasn't sure we'd be seeing any basketball video game this year, even though I'd taken for granted that NBA 2K12 would release, a death-and-taxes sure thing in October for more than 10 years.… [Kotaku] ...

Your Masters Open Thread
Tiger Woods and KJ Choi are scheduled to tee off at 2:35 p.m., with Jason Day and Rory McIlroy to follow 10 minutes later. CBS coverage of the third day of the Masters commences at 3:30 p.m. If you can't wait that long, there's live coverage online, too....

109-Year-Old Woman Throws Ceremonial First Pitch Like A Girl
Today we salute Violet Smith, who celebrated her 109th birthday by throwing out the first pitch at opening day for the Great Lakes Loons on Thursday. We're impressed by her form — an overhand with a follow-through! — and by her being very much alive....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets its teeth rapped in with a wrench....

Bad Beats: Handicapping An <i>American Idol</i> That Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....