as Page 2049 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boom Goes The Student Sportscast: America East Report Is Uncomfortable, Hilarious
There is a lot going on in this America East basketball report from the University of Hartford's student-run TV station — so much, even, that tipster Christopher declares it "the next boom goes the dynamite." There's no instant catchphrase in this 30-minute segment (we've cut it down to the real h...

A Million Dollars and No Change for a Perfectly Humble Gamer
You can do a lot of crazy stuff when you win a million bucks. When he did, Wade McGilberry was approached by a long-lost relative with a pitch for buying into a pineapple farm. No thanks, Wade said. What he really wanted was a Harley. And with the dough he won from MLB 2K10, you're damn right he bou...

Stanford Scholar-Athletes A Little Less Scholarly This Morning
Stanford is often lauded for graduating their players, and rightly so. But their record is a little less impressive after today's story in the Stanford Daily, which reveals that a semi-secret list of "easy classes" has been distributed to student-athletes for at least a decade. And there are some go...

NFL Owners Want More Money — From Each Other
In the past weeks and months, we've heard from numerous players about the pending lockout. They've all been on message, like good union members ought to be. But we've heard very little from the owners, who have been content to let the Commissioner and the lawyers give the public statements. This mig...

Sluggerrr Sued For Ol' Hot-Dog-In-The-Eye Trick
You know, Sluggerrr is quite terrifying when you really look at him. But no one has more to fear from the Royals mascot than John Coomer, who testified this week that he suffered a severe eye injury when he was the target of a thrown hot dog in 2009....

Fighting Illini Are Everywhere, Even In North Texas's Starting Lineup
None of these gentlemen are actually members of the North Texas Mean Green. They are, from left to right, current and former Illinois players Warren Carter, Jack Ingram, Rich McBride, Demetri McCamey, and Jamar Smith. We'd say it was a glitch or an honest mistake, but those five players have never b...

<em>Still Life Of Basketball Coach And Grizzly Bear</em>
Your morning roundup for March 9, the day a cow fart came in a can....

Harvard And Princeton Will Fight Old-Fashioned Douchebag Standoff In Saturday Playoff
Big news for our high net worth contingent: Princeton defeated Penn in the Ivy League's regular-season finale tonight, meaning—you guessed it—the Tigers will battle Tommy Amaker's Harvard squad for the conference's automatic berth in a playoff at Yale on Saturday....

Debate Over: Tigers Beat Lions
It is done. The great mystery is solved. The juggernauts have met on even terms, and only one remains. Only tiger remains. The BBC has the news:...

We Are All Dave McKenna XXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit becomes food for worms. Today's entry comes to you from Washington Post columnist Mark Maske's book War Without Death: A Year of Extreme Competiti...

Devils Rookie Takes Morning Constitutional In Lieu Of Practice
Mattias Tedenby on why he skipped today's optional morning skate: "I felt like going out in the sun instead for a walk." [Star-Ledger]...

Pitchers Will Soon Be Able To Protect Their Brains With Wholly-Nerdy Half-Helmets
Last year, a high school pitcher named Gunnar Sandberg was struck directly in the head with a line drive to the pitchers mound. He was in a medically-induced coma for a month following the incident. This week, Easton-Bell released the first helmet specially designed for pitchers, known in-house as "...

Soccer Player Tackles Streaker, Gets Red Carded For His Trouble
Come with us to Conference South, the sixth level of the English football pyramid. During yesterday's game, Dorchester Town defender/manager Ashley Vickers was sent off for bringing down a mankini-wearing fan. It's hard to blame him: Conference South security apparently consists of calling the loc...

Here's Video Of That Quiet Little Accounting Professor Getting Ejected
Via DC Sports Bog, we finally have video of George Washington accounting professor Robert Kasmir getting disorderly and getting tossed from a game in which he was honored at halftime. If you have any accounting jokes left over from yesterday, now's the time....

Brett Favre's Dong Shines At Mardi Gras: A Deadspin NOLA Correspondent Report
Deadspin's NOLA/Parade correspondent, Christian J. Sauska, was summoned to file a report on the Brett Favre penis float pulled off by Le Krewe d'Etat. This is what he turned in....

Quiet Little Accounting Professor Gets Honored At Halftime, Ejected From Game
Maybe not so quiet. After being honored on the court at halftime of George Washington's senior day game Saturday, GW professor Robert Kasmir went from feted donor to boisterous troublemaker, getting kicked out of the game for verbally abusing the refs....

We Are All Dave McKenna XXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets curb-stomped by a judge. For your consumption today we have a debate between two gentlemen at CSNwashington.com regarding the legacy of Clint...

Front Row At The Spurs Game Is Awesome Until Ron Artest Spills Coffee In Your Face
This Spurs fan, identified only as "Bob," sure picked the wrong Spurs game to sit court-side for free in a white Oxford! Bob, to his credit, was very understanding about the coffee-in-face situation, even when Lisa Salters attempted to one-up him with yet another harrowing tale of gravity in the s...

The Brains Behind Jägermeister Have Gone To Heaven
Please raise a shot glass to Günter Mast, who died last week of heart failure at 84 years young. Mast's tombstone should read, "Brought Excellence To The World One Bottle Of Jägermeister At A Time." Germans consider Mast a "marketing genius." Jäger's current boss says he's "one of the top businessm...

We Are All Dave McKenna XXXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets Carl Showalter-ed....