as Page 2089 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yes, Soccer Is Gay
According to this report, from America's finest news source. [Onion Sports Network]...

Can You Name The Things Wrong With This Lede?
"The Mercury turned the Tulsa Shock's "40 minutes of Hell" into 40 minutes of fun. Just ask the 6,580 who witnessed the Mercury set a WNBA record for points in a game in a 116-84 win Saturday night." [Arizona Republic]...

Vince Young's Texas Pride Wins The Weekend
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLAh16kAvPA In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Vince Young standing up for his alma mater, punching out a dude just because he was from Oklahoma....

World Cup Open Thread: Japan-Cameroon
Japan's captain Makoto Hasebe is reportedly fully healed from a back injury, but can he lead Samurai Blue past Internazionale badass Samuel Eto'o and the rest of the Indomitable Lions? Should be a sizzler, so comment below....

Vince Young Lead Suspect In Dallas Strip Club Assault
"Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young is the prime suspect in a Saturday night assault at a Dallas strip club that left an individual with bodily injury, an official with the Dallas Police Department said Sunday." [CBS Dallas via SecondStringFullback]...

Stephen Strasburg Is Strasburgering The Crap Out Of The Indians
Stephen Strasburg update: 8ks, 5innings. Just give him the Cy Young for the rest of the decade right now. /Costas'd. [Yahoo!]...

Last Night's Winner: Robert Green
In sports, everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like Robert Green, who is pretty much a loser in every country afraid of the letter "z". But over here, he'd get a one-man parade down the Canyon of Heroes....

ESPN Gives Clint Dempsey Unfortunate Nickname
So that was fun, huh? The U.S. played to a draw today thanks in large part to Robert Green's colossal cock-up. Green is expected to be Temple of Doom'd by Capello later this evening. Next up: Slovenia, lower TV ratings....

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: A Video Retrospective
By now you should be familiar with the vuvuzela, whose buzzing has become the unofficial anthem of the World Cup. Here's a compilation of great moments in history, film, and the internet that may or may not have been improved by vuvuzelas....

Last Night's Winner: The Guy Who Had Sex With Wayne Rooney's Wife (Or Revolutionary Tabloidism)
In sports, everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the filthy American tourist in Cape Town who spent the night totally banging Coleen Rooney. Well struck, sir!...

World Cup Open Thread: South Korea-Greece
Day 2 of the World Cup kicks off really early for a Saturday, so if you're awake right now, use this thread to finally settle the age-old question: better director Park Chan-wook or Costa-Gavras? Oh, and watch the game, I guess....

Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade
Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump....

Walking Boner: The Story Of A Boy Who Hit Puberty At Age 9
"Do not, under any circumstances, ever leave your son alone with a girl. There could be serious consequences. A big complicated embarrassing mess that could affect his whole life. And yours. He can get a girl pregnant. "[The Good Men Project]...

MLB.com Is Just Full Of Porn: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Deadspin Classic: The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
That terrible sound you'll be hearing over the next few weeks is the vuvuzela, which Dash described last year as "South Africa's answer to the Thunderstick." His story is below....

Ten (Fake) Memories Of John Wooden (From Someone Who Never Met Him)
"Coach had these specially designed pants that had holes in the seat. He used to place false teeth in his buttocks and collect loose change from sofas while sitting and talking to parents on recruiting trips." Share your own below. [Johnny America]...

Ever Wondered What Managers Are Saying When They Go Apeshit On The Ump?
This is old. Like, 3 years ago old. But as a deleted scene from the Playing For Peanuts documentary, this is the first time Wally Backman's tirade, performed while wearing a microphone, has seen the light of day. And it is superb....

Last Night's Winner: Boston's Sociopaths
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the inspired weirdos who populate the Celtics' roster and who, drooling and howling and pounding the floor, gave their team a very big victory last night....

Last Night's Winner: The Team That Won The Stanley Cup, Duh
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks and Rocky Wirtz, who needed just three years to undo what Dollar Bill Wirtz spent 40 years screwing up....

In Case You're Confused, Big Ben Is The One Who DIDN'T Kill Two People
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....