as Page 2090 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Case You're Confused, Big Ben Is The One Who DIDN'T Kill Two People
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Report: USC Football Gets 2-Year Bowl Ban
It only took six years, but USC is finally getting called to the NCAA principal's office. Postseason ban, loss of scholarships, games and possibly that 2004 national title. You know, now sounds like an excellent time to join the Pac-10....

Last Night's Winner: Strasburger Entrepreneurs
In sports everyone's a winner, some win better than others. Like the marketing geniuses who quickly pulled together $12 burger platters named after Stephen Strasburg, welcoming the goofy-grinned savior to both Major League Baseball and DC-area stomachs....

Bob Costas Feeds The Strasburg Hype Machine
Stephen Strasburg was pretty amazing in his major league debut last night, but that didn't stop baseball's self-appointed dream weaver from pumping up the superhero rhetoric even further—while simultaneously blaming others for their flights of fancy....

Did MLB Network Predict Josh Willingham's Home Run?
Yes, he's the real deal and we'll have more on that later, but did anybody else notice this goof-up/incredible called shot from the boys in the truck?...

Stephen Strasburg: Let Them Know It's Strasmas Time
The Washington Nationals' Band-Aid, Stephen Strasburg, makes his Major League debut tonight against the anemic Pittsburgh Pirates. He's expected to throw three no-hitters, hit five home runs, and save numerous cats from numerous trees....

Conference Realignment Will Tear Us All Apart
We're on the verge of the biggest conference realignment in the history of college sports, but if it happens ... will it still be college sports? Or just pro football that happens to take place near schools?...

Bryce Harper Completes Washington Nationals
High school dropout Bryce Harper and his dumb face paint are heading to Washington. Might as well start him tomorrow night and get it all over with. [Live draft updates @ MLB.com, Pic: AP]...

Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...

Fans Bring Greek Basketball Finals To A Violent, Pyrotechnic End (UPDATE)
In Game 4 of the Greek A-1 League finals between Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, referees declared Panathinaikos the winner after Olympiakos fans interrupted the game by shooting a flare at the Panathinaikos team and staff. Holy shitkos....

Weekend Winner: Suspect Refereeing
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like complaining about the officiating in the NHL and NBA finals, a tradition as old as sport itself. The peanut gallery's louder than usual today, perhaps not without reason....

Last Nights Winner: Tom Thibodeau
Boston Celtics assistant Tom Thibodeau accepted a three-year deal to become coach of the Chicago Bulls. That makes him a win-din-dinner!!!!...

An Alternate History Of The Miami Sorority Zoo Party Bus Of Doom
Earlier this week, we told you about the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority that was disciplined by Miami University for alleged drunken assaults on a limousine driver. Well, a friend of the Zetas have stepped up to defend their honor....

Police Investigate Possible Sexual Assault At Green Bay Packers Party (UPDATE)
Seven Green Bay Packers were found at a rented condo where two women told police they were assaulted on Saturday morning. Six of the players were cleared, but one unnamed player is still under investigation....

Last Night's Winner: Danny Ferry
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like former Cleveland GM Danny Ferry, who despite his new unemployment, should feel a great weight lifted. Why? LeBron James: Not his problem anymore....

Dustin Hoffman And Jason Bateman Smooch It Up On Staples Center Kiss Cam
Runaway Jury star Dustin Hoffman and Smokin' Aces thesp Jason Bateman sat beside each other at last night's game and appeared together on the kiss cam. Immediately afterwards, the Celtics fan behind them became violently ill on his common law wife. [DListed]...

Quincy Carter's Shotgun Pizza Delivery: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Private Stache: Cassius Clay Has Blood On His Hands
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

OMFG! Didier Drogba OUT Of The World Cup!
If you happen to be holidaying in Portugal today, chances are that your lunchtime platter of small sausages was temporarily forgotten thanks to a strange noise that sounded like a few million Cristiano Ronaldo fans all sighing in unison....

Town Offers To Rename Itself "Stephen Strasburg"
Via Darren Rovell, the town of Strasburg, Va., will rename itself Stephen Strasburg, if he just makes a visit sometime this year. Hey, it put Hitler, North Dakota on the map. [RenameStrasburg.com]...