as Page 2144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....

It's Just Like "Never Been Kissed," With More Statutory Rape
We've all wished at one point or another that we could relive our high school days. But when you pose as a high school student to get another crack at a basketball scholarship, try not to land an underage girlfriend....

English Language 1, Washington Fans 0
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Your Early Game College Football Open Thread
Are you hoping those scrappy purple-clad kids from NW can somehow derail the mighty Iowa? You want Miami's Jacory Harris to say something silly to the UVA d-line? Can Central Florida not lose by 50 to Glandorf University? [LMK]...

Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation....

John. Cougar. Mormon Camp.
Via Spencer Hall and Shaggy Bevo comes this delightfully misplaced piece of Cougar Tail. I believe we call that positioning the Five O'Clock Cock....

Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel
In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together....

What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....

Whores Are Coming To Dallas
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

In Exhibition Game, Marcus Jordan Scores One Point, Costs School Several Million Dollars
Michael's son wore a pair of Air Jordans in Central Florida's exhibition opener yesterday, and now adidas has petulantly ended its relationship with the school. Marcus went 0-for-3 in 23 minutes against something called St. Leo. [Orlando Sentinel, UCF Athletics]...

Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...

It Never Gets Old
So they spent more money than anyone else. So they didn't have to wait as long as anyone else. Ask us fans if it feels any less amazing. It doesn't....

The Bandwagon Is Actually A Nissan Truck (STILL MORE UPDATES)
Updates Yankee/Cowboy fans come out of the woodwork to defend themselves below......

I Know It's Preseason, But — Le Moyne?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Incredibly Earnest Preteen Coach Is YouTube Gold
Coach Noah might be the greatest thing to happen to basketball since the shot clock. You only think I'm kidding....

When Ladies Start Throwing Chairs In A Casino Cafeteria, It's Time To Call Tim Floyd
Luckily, before this devolved into some serious Latina ultra-violence, disgraced former USC basketball coach Tim Floyd was there to calmly intervene. Brain go boom. [HermsPerm]...

Popeye Jones Arrested, Gets Free Makeover From Police
Former Maverick draft pick and current Dallas assistant Popeye Jones was popped himself this weekend—nailed with a DUI and the nailed in the face when he resisted arrest. Ahhh, that's justice ... Texas style!...

Fear Of A Blackface Planet: Cowboys Cheerleader, Meet Deron Williams
Yes, poor Whitney Isleib is getting some mixed reviews after she decided to shoe polish her face in order to authenticate her Lil' Wayne costume, but there is decidedly less uproar over Deron Williams' terrifying Cal Ripken costume....

Owning A Russian Basketball Team Can Be Hazardous To Your Health
If future Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov ever invites you to watch a game in the owner's box, don't accept. Not only will you be stuck watching the Nets, there's a decent chance you'll be caught up in an assassination attempt....