as Page 2286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Once Again, As Long As It's Not Crosspromoted With Bat Day
We wrote about this last year, but as long as they're having it, we're going to promote it. Get thee to Miller Park, ASAP, folks: It's free prostate exams at Miller Park day! Turn your head and cough for Dr. Bernie Brewer!...
About Last Night
What you missed while closely examining the upholstery ... • NHL: Take that, Canada ... Flyers use second-period heroics to take 2-1 series lead over Montreal. • NBA: Larry Brown is back, this time coaching the Bobcats. You'd think that this is the one story that Larry Brown Sports would be all over...
Tart Like A Wheel
On Sunday, Ashley Force, another comely lass who loves all things smelling like motor oil and shaped like spark plugs, became the first woman to ever win the NHRA Funny Car ( fuh-fuh-funny car! funny car!)event. You may remember Force from that reality show "Driving Force" where her and her racing f...
Corey Lynch Offers Divine Intervention To The Bengals
Marvin Lewis has the seemingly insurmountable task of changing the Bengals' from one of the most clink-happy and character-deprived football teams in league history to something ... better. Chris Henry is gone, but the scars still remain. The attitude and atmosphere has to change in 2008, so the Ben...
You'll Never Believe What Happened Yesterday (Actually, You Probably Will)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, would like the springtime weather to actually reach Chicago. It can happen any time now. When he's not ruing unseasonably low temperatures in the midwest, he can be found trying to warm his hands at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Maverick meltdown: Will it ever e...
Roger Clemens, 15-Year-Old Country Singers, OxyContin, Stolen Trucks And You
You might have thought Roger Clemens would have done just about everything he could possibly do to destroy his reputation over the last few months. Showing up in the Mitchell Reporter, crashing and burning in his last start as a Yankee, looking like a fool in front of Congress. What could be worse t...
About Last Night
What you missed while ordering Chinese food and being put on hold ... • NHL: Apparently there's diving in hockey. Who knew? Penguins 2, Rangers 0. • NBA: Mavericks about to make first-round playoff exit for the second straight year. It's sad, really. • MLB: Hey, who woke up Carlos Delgado? Mets 6, B...
Momma Werth Just Don't Know
The Slanch Report caught Orestes Destrade getting a little distracted during the replay of the Phillies-Brewers contest on Thursday's Baseball Tonight. The objet du distraction: Jayson Werth's mother,....
Bron-Shawn Basketball Beef Gets Hip-Hop Glaze
With Game 4 of the Wizards-Cavs series about to tip off in the Verizon Center comes the news via The Washington Post's (Boooooooo!) Wizards Insider blog that the overcooked rivalry between LeBron James and DeShawn Stevenson has extended into the hip-hop arena. It all started with Queen James waving ...
The Chiefs Drafted...Well?
We've been cautioned and chastened by many a pundit over the years that it takes years to properly assess the success of any given draft. That may be true, but with the Chiefs unloading Jared Allen to the Vikings for picks, it was important for them to make a splash. Everything seemed to go their wa...
About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......
1st Round, Fifteenth Overall: Chiefs Select Branden Albert
Oh God. The Lions made a trade. Carl Peterson dangled a shiny object in front of Matt Millen, and now we all have to adjust. This Brandon Albert blog entry will be written in four styles: dense football scouting jargon, lyrically idiotic Jamie Dukes banter, Thomas the Tank Engine narration, and fin...
1st Round, Eighth Overall: Ravens Jaguars Select Derrick Harvey
We used to call guys like Harvey "tweeners." Now they're called "hybrids." Scouting gibberish has gone green...
1st Round, Fifth Overall: Chiefs Select Glenn Dorsey
The big question in March was whether Dorsey had super-secret-surgery on his balky knees. How secret surgery even possible? I can't get a hemorrhoid removed without six referrals and a signed affidavit from the president of my insurance company. But somehow one of the top NFL prospects can sneak in...
Where, Uh, Whoa, Amazing Highs Happen
Dominating the headlines this Saturday is the shocking (shocking!) admission by the Mavericks' Josh Howard that he, like every one in the NBA who isn't J.J. Reddick, smokes trees in the off-season. Also: baseball players take steroids and politicians cheat on their spouses....
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......
Anyone Can Throw A Knuckleball!
We've always thought if there were a mainstream sports breakthrough for a woman, a sport in which a woman could compete on the same field as men, it would be as a knuckleball pitcher in Major League Baseball. It doesn't require strength, and you need to be smart. And not just women can do it: Old me...
Finally, A Pro Baseball Team With Glow-In-The-Dark Caps
How many times have you asked yourself, 'Why can't I see my favorite baseball cap logo when the lights are out?' (If you're like me, plenty). Well, if your favorite team is the Casper Ghosts of the Pioneer Rookie League, then you don't have that problem. This season the Ghosts (formerly the Casper R...
Facebook Makes It Easier, And More Difficult, To Cheat In College
We are still somewhat new to the world of Facebook — and we really, really don't want to Facebook chat, and we'd rather not the world know that we bought two tickets to Baby Mama — but if we had access to it when we were in college, we suspect we would have had a different experience. We definitely ...