as Page 2559 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Get Your Short, Balding Guys!
A friend of ours — one of those overeducated, statistically minded fellows who believes an MBA, a cellphone and lots of Diet Coke can solve all the world's problems — says that if he were owner of a sports team, he'd pay three times what everyone else pays for high-quality general managers, becaus...

Astros Are Texas Toast
News And Notes From A Crazy, Crazy Game • You know what would have been kind of funny? If Astros manager Phil Garner, just a split second after throwing that chair, realized that Craig Biggio's wife had been standing right behind him. "God-DAMN it ... oh. Uh, sorry, Patty." • Does that home run p...

About Last Night
What you missed while addressing all those envelopes containing the indictments ... • World Series, Game 3: White Sox prevail over Astros in 14 innings in a game you turned off after 13 innings. That'll teach you. • NBA: Chris Webber looks crappy, Allen Iverson missing altogether in Sixers' exhibiti...

Previewing The Inevitable Umpiring Fiascos
As mentioned regularly here, we're not that much into gambling, mainly because we find watching sports stressful enough without our parents' rent check riding on it, but thankfully our pals at Oddjack has a stronger taste for vice than we do. And he has unearthed a useful tidbit today, one we've a...

Sad, Drunk Cardinals Fans (Aren't They All?)
As the process of destroying Busch Stadium begins in earnest — that picture was taken yesterday; that large object in the outfield is not, in fact, Larry Walker — a reader sends us this pretty awesome video of two drunken, crying Cardinals fans as they refused to leave Busch Stadium after the NLCS...

Sky Closing In On Astros
For the first time this postseason, the roof at Enron Field/Dick Cheney Field/Minute Maid Park will be open this evening, and that has just about everyone but the White Sox unhappy. In the other postseason games, the roof was closed, and it made for a deafening atmosphere that greatly benefited th...

About Last Night
What you missed while translating the Bible from English to German and back to English again ... • MNF: Testaverde fumbles three times, loses his keys and forgets where he lives as Falcons clobber Jets. • NHL: Red Wings make Blue Jackets wish the strike had lasted a bit longer. • NHL: Hurricanes dea...

That Taste? It's Veggie Deep Dish
In the best response we've seen yet to FOX broadcaster Tim McCarver's ultimate foot-in-mouth moment last evening, the mad, depraved geniuses at Yard Work put on their miner's helmets to figure out what, exactly, that taste was in Brad Lidge's mouth that McCarver declared "not there."...

Recruiting Wars Are Always Ugly
We'll confess, the whole notion of recruiting in college athletics leaves us queasy, and we're even more weirded out by fans who are unnaturally obsessed with it. There are countless "recruiting expert" sites that, when you really break it down, essentially make a living by looking at 16-year-old ...

A-Rod Battles Brutal "Asshole" Allegations
OK, everyone and their mother has been sending this to us this morning, so we might as well do something on it. Apparently, Yankees third baseman/lipstick model Alex Rodriguez made the mistake last week of dining at the same restaurant as a blogger (or a friend of a blogger, anyway)....

NFL Roundup: Portis' Head
• Contrary to popular belief, Redskins running back Clinton Portis was not doing an impersonation of Yankees center fielder Bernie Williams chasing a fly ball while doing that cartwheel in the end zone yesterday. Good guess, though. • We're not saying that Cincinnati was getting a little too excit...

World Series Roundup: McCarver's Buckner Moment
We don't mean to shrink last night's Amazing Scott Podsednik Moment into a moment of media criticism, but you're all going to be talking about it this morning, so we might as well lead off with it. Right before — like, a split-second before — Podsednik homered off Astros closer Brad Lidge, Fox bro...

About Last Night
What you missed while trying to convince Mayor McCheese that, with the right backing, he could be the next governor ... • World Series, Game 2: The Posednik Adventure sinks Astros, puts White Sox ahead 2-0. • NASCAR: Jeff Gordon wins Subway 500, celebrates by holding up an enormous pair of pants. • ...

World Series Pants Party: White Sox vs. Astros
Well, someone's going to end a whole lot of frustration in the next week and a half, so even if the folks at FOX probably aren't that happy, the rest of us should have a grand time in the White Sox-Astros World Series. This is one of those great World Series where you can kind of sense that fans o...

Great Weekend For Houston's Foot Fetishists
Nothing more classy than Texans, we tell you. As a show of solidarity with the Astros as they prepare for Game 1 of the World Series tomorrow evening, Houston mayor Bill White is encouraging all local residents to go sockless for Games 1 and 2, calling it a "No Socks Weekend."...

Ozzie Guillen Takes Center Stage
What'd we tell you? White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has taken a hold of the spotlight and strangled it until it looked like the Smurfs at the end of that UNICEF commercial....

You Can't Divide By Zero
Apparently, our DVR isn't working right, becaues we've yet to watch "Quite Frankly: Afterthoughts," the Oprah-esque "spinoff" featuring host Stephen A. Smith talking with his studio audience. It launched Tuesday, which is extremely frustrating to us, considering we went to see the show on Monday, ...

Larry Bowa, Voice Of Calm And Decency
The rumors are coming fast and with much fury, and the notion of it makes us so happy we almost want to dance: The Yankees have offered combustible engine Larry Bowa a job as their third-base coach. It is not known whether Bowa could be considered a potential replacement for Joe Torre were he to f...

About Last Night
What you missed while choosing just the right pumpkin ... to murder! • NHL: Islanders sweep Rangers despite Jagr's hat trick, and yes, Satan scored again. • College FB: Maryland chases Vick around for a while, finally gives up as Virginia Tech wins. • PGA: Hunter Haas leading at Funai Classic, Charl...

You Know What They Say About The Size Of A Man's Goatee
More Big fun from the folks at The Bulge Report, which is ranking the top 100 major league baseball players by the size of their, well, units. Yesterday we heard all about Brad Lidge and his "two-seam fastball" — if you know what we mean, and if you do, tell us, because we don't — and today we've ...