You Know What They Say About The Size Of A Man's Goatee

More Big fun from the folks at The Bulge Report, which is ranking the top 100 major league baseball players by the size of their, well, units. Yesterday we heard all about Brad Lidge and his "two-seam fastball" — if you know what we mean, and if you do, tell us, because we don't — and today we've got some fun excerpts from the list. You have been warned.

No. 24: Luis Gonzalez. Nice, long & uncut like a rope; not wrinkly like most uncut; at least 5 soft; swings around when he walks No. 25: Ray Durham. He is big!!! Tho he some of why he looks so big is because he is short (that's from a team employee, by the way.) No. 30: Matt Clement. He has a hairy chest and stomach, but the rest of his body is clean, but that huge cock on that man makes him look deformed.

So yeah. Everybody go take a shower now.

Bulge Report (NSFW)