as Page 902 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
David Price Is Still Weirdly Hot Under The Collar About Dennis Eckersley
You would think interpersonal beef that arises out of one person saying one single non-R-rated word about a third party could not possible last longer than, say, a couple weeks. Turns out you would be way wrong about that. The dumb beef between Red Sox pitcher David Price and NESN broadcaster Dennis...
"Mai Tai Guy" Has No Regrets Over Stealing Walk-Off Home Run Ball From Kids
The Cubs beat the Reds in dramatic, walk-off fashion on Tuesday night, as Kyle Schwarber hit a 10th-inning dinger to put an exclamation point on a Chicago day that had already seen the capture of notorious alligator Chance the Snapper. And as one minor local reptilian celebrity was consigned to a bu...
Manny Machado Calls Eric Byrnes And Dan Plesac The "Biggest Tools Out There"
Manny Machado, while lounging at home and watching MLB Network last night, decided to pop off his shirt, log into Instagram, and get some things off his chest. What followed was a solid three minutes of Machado shitting on MLB Network commentators Dan Plesac and Eric Byrnes while pointing out the le...
Jake Marisnick Is Ready For This To Be Over
The Astros played the Angels in Los Angeles last night, marking the first time Houston outfielder Jake Marisnick had to face Angels fans since knocking out Jonathan Lucroy with a brutal home-plate collision. He did not receive a warm reception....
Ned Yost Can Teach You Whippersnappers A Thing Or Two About The Moon Landing, So Listen Up!
The Royals beat the White Sox 11-0 last night, and got a complete game shutout from starting pitcher Glenn Sparkman. But who gives a shit about any of that? We’re here to learn about space from Royals manager Ned Yost....
Benches Clear In Rays-Yankees Over Grown Men Arguing About Not Talking To Each Other
The benches cleared briefly in the middle of the sixth inning of Tuesday night’s Rays-Yankees tilt in New York. No one was plunked or brushed back; there were no dirty slides; no catchers were trucked at the plate. Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia struck out Rays outfielder Avisail Garcia on a, hmm, cr...
Steve Kerr Tentatively Reminds Shaq Of Obligation To Kiss Kerr's Cheese-Covered Feet
Back in 2005, Shaquille O’Neal thought no coach would ever match what Phil Jackson did with the Lakers between 2000 to 2004: guide a team to the Finals four out of five years. “It will never be done again,” Shaq said, promising to kiss the cheese-covered feet of any person that did it, on a TV show ...
Let The Alligator Throw The First Pitch
Chance the Snapper—a Chicago alligator who gained fame last week when he was first noticed living in the Humboldt Park lagoon—was taken into custody Tuesday morning by reptile expert Frank Robb, who was hired specifically to grab the creature. Before he was apprehended, the 5-foot-3 Chance captured ...
Pete Alonso's Charming "English Muffin" Quote, Like Most Precious Things In Life, Was A Sham
Before Mets slugger Pete Alonso participated in the Home Run Derby during the all-star break, he earned a little moment with this seemingly off-the-cuff quip: “It doesn’t matter how much jelly you have in the jar, it’s about how you spread it on your English muffin.” That’s funny. Well, guess what? ...
USWNT's Ashlyn Harris Says Former Teammate Was Excluded For Homophobia, Not Christianity
In the never-ending search for fuel to feed the conservative backlash against the world champion USWNT, some media outlets—mostly of the conservative Christian variety—dredged up a year-old interview with former USWNT defender Jaelene Hinkle. Talking to The 700 Club last May, Hinkle said that she tu...
Hair-Pulling Considered Rude In Every Sport But Football
In the midst of play a few weeks ago, WNBA player Liz Cambage’s arm got all wrapped up in her opponent Kalani Brown’s hair. At first the tangle seemed to be an accident, but soon there was pushing and shoving and intentional hair-pulling, and Cambage walked away from the encounter with a flagrant fo...
Report: MLB Considering Adding Dopey Advertising Patches To Uniforms
According to the Sports Business Journal, we are one step closer to living in a world in which every possible moment spent watching a sporting event will also be a moment spent absorbing corporate advertising. That’s because MLB is reportedly considering following the NBA’s lead and adding advertisi...
Justin Turner Defends Pitcher Who Just Plunked Him From Overreacting Umpire
The Dodgers beat the hell out of the Phillies Monday night, ripping off a six-run fourth inning and cruising to a 16–2 victory. But that doesn’t mean the late innings were entirely without drama: for one thing, the Phillies used a position player as a pitcher; for another, in the top of the eighth i...
Tigers Bring Trevor Rosenthal Back To The Majors For Some Reason
Here’s an alarming bit of news for MLB batters who value their personal safety: Trevor Rosenthal, who bombed out of the Nationals bullpen due to a persistent inability to throw strikes and get outs, is back in the majors, this time with the Detroit Tigers....
Giannis Antetokounmpo Sucks Real Bad At Baseball
Giannis Antetokounmpo is the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player. He’s 24 years old, his Bucks won 60 games last season, and Kawhi Leonard just left the Eastern Conference to play for the Clippers. Things are going pretty great for Giannis and his basketball career, so I don’t think he will mind too m...
Aspen Ladd Follows Nightmare Weigh-In With Nightmare 16-Second Knockout Loss
UFC fighter Aspen Ladd appeared weak and disoriented and in a fair amount of pain during her Friday weigh-in ahead of UFC Fight Night 155 in Sacramento. Her weekend didn’t improve much from there: Ladd was knocked out just 16 seconds into her bantamweight fight against Germaine de Randamie Saturday...
Children's Birthday Party Gets Much Cooler After New Jersey Devils' Mascot Runs Through Glass Window
When you’re a child, it’s surely cool to have the New Jersey Devils’ mascot show up to your birthday shindig, but what’s much more impressive is when NJ Devil gets overwhelmed by the play parachute, starts running around, and shatters a glass window. How many kids get to say that happened at their p...
Who Says Zion Needs To Move To Be Great?
“Is Zion Williamson too fat?” has been the controversy of NBA Summer League 2019 as the No. 1 overall pick is sitting out rest of the Vegas games due to a bruised left knee, depriving fans of mid-July slams and prompting them to wonder if the former Duke superstar is actually in shape. On ESPN last ...
Fernando Tatis Jr. Bends Fabric Of Space And Time, Avoids Getting Tagged Out
It appeared as though Braves pitcher Mike Soroka was about the record the first out of his appearance against the Padres on Sunday. With an 0-2 count against Eric Hosmer, Soroka picked off Fernando Tatis Jr., who had a considerable lead at first base. Tatis Jr. was then caught in a rundown and, afte...
Minnesota United FC Scored A Game-Winning Goal And Saved A Penalty All In Stoppage Time
For the first 90 minutes of Minnesota United FC’s game against FC Dallas, pretty much nothing happened and the score was tied 0-0. But, as those in attendance at Allianz Field soon found out, that unremarkable hour and a half was anything but a precursor of things to come. ...