as Page 938 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In San Antonio, Bats
Less than five minutes into the opening quarter of the Nets-Spurs game, officials had to call action to a halt when a group of bats—sometimes referred to as a colony, or camp—began to swarm the court in San Antonio. Things didn’t stop on the court once the first bat was spotted. It appears that the ...

At Least Magic Johnson's Phone Calls About Anthony Davis Are Finally Being Answered
With the NBA trade deadline exactly one week away and Anthony Davis currently on ice, the Los Angeles Lakers’ only real window to trade for the Brow without Danny Ainge and Boston’s superior collection of assets getting involved is... right now, actually. Because Boston can beat pretty much any offe...
![Dear God, What The Hell Happened Over Here [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/eneldfdri2w01ytqidvi.jpg)
Dear God, What The Hell Happened Over Here [Update]
All you had to do was help the big boy get back on his feet. Take care of his ACL repair, keep him hydrated, and at least pretend to keep tabs on his progress. While he’s laid up, give him a refresher course on tanking, limit his direct exposure to Enes Kanter, and show him some nice Duke highlight...

MLB's Luxury Tax Became A Salary Cap Because Of Decades Of Failures
Major League Baseball’s luxury tax was introduced as a compromise during collective bargaining in the late 1990s as a way to avoid implementing a salary cap, which had been one of the major points of conflict that led to the 1994 strike by the Major League Baseball Players Association. In the years ...

The Stove Is So Cold That Now We Have To Entertain The Padres
Baseball’s hot stove should have burned bright and hot and then shut off by this point in the offseason, given that there are less than two weeks to go until spring training. Instead, the free agent process is all but guaranteed to trudge on through February, as solid potential additions including D...

Drunk Heat Fan Tries To Fight Cops, Tumbles Down Several Rows Of Seats
At some point in the Miami Heat’s embarrassing 16-point home defeat to the Bulls last night, cops were called to the top of the lower bowl to deal with an apparently belligerent fan. The fan, 23-year-old Adrain Mato, was apparently arguing with some Bulls fans when the police came and told him to co...

These Damn Memphis Grizzlies Suffer Another Exquisitely Painful Loss
Things are getting mighty sad in Memphis. Franchise cornerstones Mike Conley and Marc Gasol are on the trading block. Their once-promising start to the season has spiraled nightmarishly into full-blown, total hell. Monday night they blew a 25-point lead at home and suffered through an agonizing last...

Anthony Davis Might Not Play Again This Season, For The Most Bullcrap Of Reasons
The Pelicans are already moving on from Anthony Davis. Dell Demps might be stuck in the denial phase—he is reportedly “not picking up the phone” to field incoming trade inquiries—but the team has already yanked Davis out of their standard pregame hype video, and pulled his image from their Twitter p...

The Latest Ridiculous Chapter Of Enes Kanter's Knicks Feud Involves Smooching The Actual Floor
Enes Kanter has been a healthy scratch for the Knicks over their last four games, all losses. Collectively those games make up the only four outright benchings of Kanter’s seven-plus years in the NBA, and the big man hasn’t taken them sitting down. Or, yes, of course he was sitting down, but while h...

Let's Remember Some Guys: Mullets-Only Edition
If your hair does not touch your shoulders or your hair falls into your eyes, sorry, but you will not be featured on today’s episode of Let’s Remember Some Guys....

The Skins Heard You Love Rob Ryan So They Put A Rob Ryan In Your Rob Ryan
Earlier today, Washington’s football team named Rob Ryan its inside linebackers coach. Linebacking is a skill that cannot be coached by just one man! They announced the hiring of the longtime NFL defensive coordinator with a press release and a tweet. The latter is what I’m interested in here....

D'Angelo Russell And The Brooklyn Nets Are Actually Good Now
Quick: what’s the biggest joke of the decade in the NBA? If you answered, “the New York Knicks,” fine, I’ll give you that. But most people would answer, “that damn Brooklyn Nets-Boston Celtics trade,” and most people would be correct....

Jrue Holiday Put A Nice Marinade On James Harden, Slapped Him On The Grill, And Then Ate Him Up
The biggest casualty of the Anthony Davis exodus may well be his poor sidekick Jrue Holiday, who is playing his proud butt off this season, as he generally does. Unless he too can engineer an escape from New Orleans, one of the NBA’s best two-way guards is going to have to make do with LeBron’s bear...

Zavier Simpson's Skyhook Is One Of The Seven Wonders Of The World
Michigan junior point guard Zavier Simpson picked up only the sixth triple-double in school history on Tuesday night, and of all opponents, he did it in a win against Ohio State. Zavier (formerly Xavier) notched 11 points, 12 assists, zero turnovers, and—most astonishingly for a guy who’s only liste...

Jahlil Okafor, Of All People, Leads The Gutted Pelicans To A Road Victory Over The Rockets
The list of guys who couldn’t play Tuesday night for the Pelicans is very nearly a list of every established and half-decent player on the roster. This was a nationally televised game against the surging Rockets, and the lineups foretold an ugly, lopsided massacre:...

NHL Suspends Predators' Austin Watson For "Ongoing Issues With Alcohol Abuse"
Nashville Predators forward Austin Watson has been suspended indefinitely without pay by the NHL, and has entered the second stage of the league’s substance abuse program, for “ongoing issues with alcohol abuse.” ...

Today Was Somehow The Stupidest Day Yet In The Bryce Harper Sweepstakes
Today felt like it could have finally been the day we got some movement in the frigid pursuit of the two top free agents in baseball, but it was not meant to be. Despite what felt like all of Philly Twitter trying to will it into existence, Bryce Harper did not sign with the Phillies on Tuesday. Why...

What Does Miguel Almirón’s Record Transfer Mean For The MLS?
You see what you want to see when you look at Miguel Almirón’s reported MLS-record $27 million transfer to the Premier League’s Newcastle United....

Pro Cyclist Fined By Argentinian Police For Sexually Harassing Waitress During Photo Op
Veteran Belgian pro cyclist Iljo Keisse and his Deceuninck-QuickStep team are in Argentina for the early-season Vuelta a San Juan, and they have had an eventful past two days. Shortly after his teammate Julian Alaphilippe won the second stage of the race, Keisse found himself in trouble with local p...

God Help Us All, DeMarcus Cousins Is Fitting In Perfectly With The Warriors
For six months, Steve Kerr urged caution. Yes, DeMarcus Cousins joining the Warriors was a ridiculous coup, but Boogie’s recovery from an Achilles tendon tear was going to take time. Sure, the four-time all-star’s arrival in Oakland on a one-year rental represented yet another instance of Golden Sta...